Originally Posted by CarolPetunia
You've been hit with so much in such a short time... I can't even imagine how hard it's been for you. Let me suggest what I've seen my mother do since the death of her mom in 1992...
She and her mom were very close, and she was devastated when Grandma passed. But it seemed to help her to reminisce about her mom. She would go through old photos and keepsakes and tell stories, and soon she was laughing about those old times. Sometimes laughing and crying all at once, but still, it was good for her.
Now when something reminds us of Grandma, we smile about it. I think today my mom feels only the joy of the wonderful life her mom lived, and not the pain of losing her.
So I think you may be suffering even more because of your effort to make everyone believe you "have it all together." Maybe it would help you to have one friend you could talk to now and then about the people you've lost... someone you can cry with at first, until you're able to turn it into laughter.
If there's someone like that in your life, that would be wonderful. If not, though, you could post here about your mom and your fiance occasionally, just to say whatever's been on your mind about them. And I imagine there are many others here who would add reminiscences of loved ones they're missing, too.
Maybe we should start a "Reminiscing" thread where we can all share memories of our lost loved ones. What do you think?
I think that would be great to have a thread like that! I haven't lost a parent, I lost my husband Aug 28 6 yrs ago now. I still can't believe it's been 6 yrs. I remember feeling nothing was normal, so scattered and out of sorts!
I couldn't find the place were I needed to be! I wrote everything in a journal, I would stay up for hours writing and writing. Saying any and everything!
That helped me so much, I can look at them now and go .... bless your heart, I was lost! and I had my 6 yr old son whom was greiving also, just
at different stages than mine! That was so painful, to be a parent and your
child hurting and there wasn't anything I could do about it! Just about the
time I couldn't handle it anymore, the good Lord would intervene, and it would ease a little, I prayed so much and I know it never goes away, it's right beneath the surface,
I think of him probably 231/2 hrs. a day! I'm not kidding! I haven't been lucky enough to find someone else. I know that would help me to get on!
I am so ready to be happy, my son plays a major role, and where we live, men are slim pickens'! So I have sort of accepted that maybe later I'll find someone.
It is very lonely, after my son goes to bed at night, I'm by myself, no companionship! My husband and I had been together since I was 18, I was 37 when he died, he was 39! I think.....I would have never thought I would be raising my son alone! We have done fine! he's only 12, so I'm hanging on the hard yrs are ahead! I know where your at and I feel for you so much!
You can talk to me anytime, I truly mean that! I stay up late!I am a great listener, and friend! I find myself referring to Marvin all the time, my sister
brought that to my attention one day...I said, "well he was the only relationship I can refer too, and not having someone else in my life to make new memories, what I'm I suppose to talk about?" and I said, "Let's see if your husband dies, what you will talk about !" She felt bad! I never really
knew what grief was, sure I felt sorry for people, but I had no idea! OMG Now I do and to what depth it runs!
Just pray pray pray! even when you don't know what to ask for! That is
the way I know helped me !
PM me anytime!