Clicker training.. I just started a "thread" on this a few weeks back. I've been working with my cats, sporadically, and they're responding fairly well to it. There's a book by Karen Pryor, called Clicker Training for Cats. It's a fairly easy read and it explains how to teach clicker training.
The basics of starting it is.. you need something long and pointy.. a yardstick.. um.. I personally have been using a metal ruler, but I need to get something longer. A backscratcher would work.. a wooden dial rod, pretty much anything that's long and fairly lightweight. And you need a clicker. You can get a clicker from the local petstore (or online) where they have training tools for dogs. If you get it online, order from Karen Pryor's website: www.clickertraining.com
... I find her clickers are vastly easier to use.
Get some treats, individually about the size of a pea, that she really likes. The first few sessions you use the clicker and the treats, and you click and then treat. This is called "charging the clicker" (or getting your cat to associate the click with a food reward). THe next few sessions, you get the cat to "touch" the target stick. As the cat moves to touch it, you click. Very important to click "during" the movement, and not "after" it's completed. Every time you click, give a treat. I also click right as I'm giving them their food for regular feedings too.
Anyway, if you can find more out about it on the above website. It's free to join and she's got a lot of info on there. What you'd want to do with your cat, and this will probably work okay with or without the clicker, but it will most likely be more effective with the clicker since you can mark the appropriate behavior more accurately. You'll want to keep the treats and the clicker handy. When she's getting groomed and is in a *RELAXED* state and receptive to the grooming, you want to "click" and "treat". After you treat, then you can groom a little more, click and treat. It's very important not to click and treat if she's become unhappy about the clicking, tense, tail switching, biting the brush.. etc. Treating for being relaxed will eventually teach her to let you completely brush her without her getting upset as she'll associate the food reward with being relaxed and getting brush and it will create a positive experience/association in her mind. Just make sure you always treat her.
You could do it without clicking, using praise and a food reward. Either way, you can also associate a word with the appropriate behavior, like "brush" or "groom" or whatever, much like teaching a dog to sit only... different.
If you have a little time and really enjoy interacting with your cat, I'd research the clicker training... it's really a lot of fun and it's a great way to communicate with your cat. It teaches them ways to communicate with you, and it allows you to teach them really cool tricks. I've already got my kittens "reaching" up and/or jumping up to touch the target stick. They catch on fast and there's no end to what you can teach them. (Admittedly, though, I've only gotten to reaching up for the target stick or walking across the kitchen floor for the target stick.. but we've only had about four sessions and that's with four cats participating which makes it a little chaotic).
Oh, just as a side note, clickers, target sticks, and Karen Pryor's clicker training book are all available on her website (the book is about $13, the clickers are about $3 or something, and I don't remember how much the stick is).
If you get onboard with the clickertraining... make sure to tell us about how it's going with everything on this thread.. http://thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138237