Why are people like this?

I have a friend who I really don't hang out with much anymore because she started going to bars and getting trashed all the time. She's also into drugs and all that. Anyway, she's always calling me up to tell me how trashed and high she is. Like, she just called saying she went to a tailgaiting thing and has been drunk since 10:30. I just can't understand why people act pround to be an alcolholic and a drug addict. I've told her she needs help and that I don't want to see her mess up her life but she won't listen. I just wish she'd quit calling me wasted because I don't care how messed up she is. To me, that's not cool.

I USED to be friends with people like that. I'm almost 22 and I don't like the feeling of being wasted......I don't mind a few drinks but I don't like the feeling of not being in control. I never understood how people do.

I'm sorry that this happened. People can be irresponsible. It is hard for them to admit something is wrong....

to you

The only thing you can do is avoid her calls or tell her to stop calling you when she's like that. When I was in my early 20s, I went out very frequently....3 sometimes 4 nights a week. I'm not proud of the way I was, but I was having a good time when it was going on. I was a drinker. I got to the point where every night when I got home from work, I'd fix myself a drink or two...sometimes more. When I moved out of that area at the age of 25, I finally woke up. I still went out on occasion, but it was more like once a month. I'm 31 now and haven't had a drink in 2yrs. One day, I just decided that I didn't want it anymore. There are times that I still want a drink, but I have a lot of self-control. I have a daughter who needs me, and I flat out refuse to drink around her, so I don't drink at all. A lot of people don't realize what they're doing until they either have something to happen that wakes them up or they get away from the crowd they're hanging around with. For me, I moved about 2hrs away. My husband, on the other hand, was into the drug scene for years. He said that one day, he looked in the mirror and didn't like what he was seeing, so he knew that he had to get out of there. He, literally, moved across the country (from CA to VA) to escape that life. That was 7yrs ago. More than likely, she will eventually see what she's doing. All you can do is be yourself, and do what I mentioned at the beginning. If you stand up to her, you're probably going to be called a baby or be told to grow up, etc, etc, etc., but stand your ground. Don't let her influence you. You have a lot of support here.

Originally Posted by TNKittyMom

Don't let her influence you. You have a lot of support here.

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She doesn't influence me at all. I'm not a partier one bit. I did all that when I was a teenager. She's 24 so I guess she still has some growing up to do.

Unfortunately it can happen in many friendships. People begin to hang out with the wrong group of people and allow them to be influenced by these new set of friends. Or something happens in their life, they don't know how to cope with it and so they turn to alcohol and/or drugs.

If you considered her a good friend at one point, talk to her about it. Perhaps her calling you to claim how high/drunk she is, is a call for help.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

If you considered her a good friend at one point, talk to her about it. Perhaps her calling you to claim how high/drunk she is, is a call for help.

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I disagree.

I must admit, I used to be quite a partier (once upon a time)...sometimes when you're drunk you "drunk dial" because you're thinking about a friend you love and you really want to talk to them. I have much experience in this arena.

It's annoying for you, so in your case you need to tell her to stop calling you when she's like that because you don't agree with that lifestyle.

Tell her when she's SOBER that she's doing this and you find it disrespectful and she'll take it a lot more seriously than if you tell her when she's inebriated.

If she calls you drunk or whatever again just say "hey I gotta go but be safe"...then have the talk with her AFTERWARDS when she's sober.

You're not going to convince her what she's doing is "wrong", that'll only annoy her and put a damper on your friendship. More than likely she's doing what she's doing because it's that part of her life and her thing to go through and learn from. Let her know although you don't do that kind of thing, you're there for her in other ways and TRUST ME, she'll grow out of this phase and be happy you are still her friend.