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Post a silly joke....lol - Page 3

post #61 of 86
It's just being "cutesy" -- there's nothing more to it than that.
post #62 of 86
OK. I'll take that. I was thinking I was missing something big.

wasn't trying to ruin the joke....

sorry
post #63 of 86
I tell my boyfriend this one every time he is in a dull mood- it is so dumb after a while that you cant help but laugh. . .

A snail walks into a volkswagon dealership,
and the salesmen asks "How can I help you sir?"
The snail replys "Well I am interested in buying that white Bug, but I have a special request. I want to know if I can have a big red S put on all the doors, the hood, the roof. Anywhere there is room. Is this possible?"
"of Course" the salesman says, "but if you dont mind my asking, why?"
So the snail replys, "So that way when I am driving down the road really fast, everyone will say 'wow look at that s - car - go!'"



I think that joke is so funny. . . lol sorry if no one else finds it as funny. . .
post #64 of 86
i take it no one found that funny - i killed this thread. . .

sorry! lol
post #65 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
I tell my boyfriend this one every time he is in a dull mood- it is so dumb after a while that you cant help but laugh. . .

A snail walks into a volkswagon dealership,
and the salesmen asks "How can I help you sir?"
The snail replys "Well I am interested in buying that white Bug, but I have a special request. I want to know if I can have a big red S put on all the doors, the hood, the roof. Anywhere there is room. Is this possible?"
"of Course" the salesman says, "but if you dont mind my asking, why?"
So the snail replys, "So that way when I am driving down the road really fast, everyone will say 'wow look at that s - car - go!'"



I think that joke is so funny. . . lol sorry if no one else finds it as funny. . .
I laughed!
post #66 of 86
i am glad to see someone did! lol I was begining to wonder...
post #67 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
i take it no one found that funny - i killed this thread. . .

sorry! lol
NONONONONONONO! Not killed. I, for one, was between computers when you posted. I like that one.
post #68 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
i take it no one found that funny - i killed this thread. . .

sorry! lol
I guess you have everyone doing this --> and they are unable to respond.
post #69 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by babyharley View Post
I laughed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemlady View Post
I guess you have everyone doing this --> and they are unable to respond.

I thought it was funny too. Had to read it a couple of times, but those are always the best!!
post #70 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
I tell my boyfriend this one every time he is in a dull mood- it is so dumb after a while that you cant help but laugh. . .

A snail walks into a volkswagon dealership,
and the salesmen asks "How can I help you sir?"
The snail replys "Well I am interested in buying that white Bug, but I have a special request. I want to know if I can have a big red S put on all the doors, the hood, the roof. Anywhere there is room. Is this possible?"
"of Course" the salesman says, "but if you dont mind my asking, why?"
So the snail replys, "So that way when I am driving down the road really fast, everyone will say 'wow look at that s - car - go!'"



I think that joke is so funny. . . lol sorry if no one else finds it as funny. . .
I think its funny.
post #71 of 86
It is so stupid that now when the other half gets in a bad mood I dont even have to finish the first line and he is laughing because he cant beleive that i am telling it to him again!
post #72 of 86
Yeah, it took me a moment to get it!
post #73 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
i take it no one found that funny - i killed this thread. . .

sorry! lol
I thought it was funny.
post #74 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
It is so stupid that now when the other half gets in a bad mood I dont even have to finish the first line and he is laughing because he cant beleive that i am telling it to him again!
Goofy kid!!

post #75 of 86
Here's a blonde joke my dad told me earlier today.....

There was this blonde driving down the highway when she saw a man on the side of the road with a broken down truck.
The blonde pulled over and asked the man "Can I help you? Do you need a ride?"
The man replied "No but I will probably be here a while fixing my truck but could you do me one favor?"
The blonde said "Sure!"
The man said "I have these two chimps I need to get to the zoo in LA and they are getting ansy already. I will give you $200 if you take them to the zoo for me."
The blonde agreed and put the chimps in her car with the seatbelts on and headed off to the zoo.
A few hours later, the man was driving to LA and saw the blonde and two chimps walking on the road. The man stopped and said "I paid you $200 to take them and drop them off at the zoo! What are you doing?"
The blonde said "Well I took them to the zoo and there was money left over so now I'm taking them to Sea World."
post #76 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoRachelHere View Post
I tell my boyfriend this one every time he is in a dull mood- it is so dumb after a while that you cant help but laugh. . .

A snail walks into a volkswagon dealership,
and the salesmen asks "How can I help you sir?"
The snail replys "Well I am interested in buying that white Bug, but I have a special request. I want to know if I can have a big red S put on all the doors, the hood, the roof. Anywhere there is room. Is this possible?"
"of Course" the salesman says, "but if you dont mind my asking, why?"
So the snail replys, "So that way when I am driving down the road really fast, everyone will say 'wow look at that s - car - go!'"



I think that joke is so funny. . . lol sorry if no one else finds it as funny. . .

And that is my new favorite joke
post #77 of 86
Ok....I am the new thread killer

I just can't tell jokes very well...
post #78 of 86
If this joke is too much, I'm sorry and please feel free to remove it. I think it's OK but I'm not sure. Hear it goes.

There are two trees having a discussion about a little sappling between them. They are wondering if it's a son of beech or a son of a birch. Finally, they called in the help of a woodpecker. They ask it what the sappling is and the woodpeker says "give me a sec and I'll let you know. The woodpecker goes over and taps at the tree and the to adult trees ask "Well, is it a son of a beech or son of a birch?" The woodpecker says. "It's neither, but it's the finest piece of ash I've ever had."
post #79 of 86
The "s-car-go" is definitely funny!
I know a yo momma joke or two.........
Yo momma so fat......
that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
she can't even jump to a conclusion.
when I swerved from running her over, my car ran out of gas!


he, he
post #80 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
If this joke is too much, I'm sorry and please feel free to remove it. I think it's OK but I'm not sure. Hear it goes.

There are two trees having a discussion about a little sappling between them. They are wondering if it's a son of beech or a son of a birch. Finally, they called in the help of a woodpecker. They ask it what the sappling is and the woodpeker says "give me a sec and I'll let you know. The woodpecker goes over and taps at the tree and the to adult trees ask "Well, is it a son of a beech or son of a birch?" The woodpecker says. "It's neither, but it's the finest piece of ash I've ever had."
HILARIOUS!
post #81 of 86
I know a couple blonde ones:

How do you know which computer is the blondes?
The one with all the white out on the screen!



An old farmer has a blonde neighbor. One day he looks over and she's walking up to him. She asks him "neighbor, I just got two horses, but I want to know how to tell them apart!" and he replies "just cut the tail of one of them short, so one's got a long tail and one has a short one."

So she cuts the tail on one of the horses and for a while she can tell the two horses apart. However, not long after this the horse with the longer tail gets his tail stuck in a pricker bush, and half of his tail hairs are ripped out. Now the tails are the same length on both of the horses.

So the blonde goes back to the neighbor and says "Neighbor, I tried the tail cutting, but now I need another way, how do I tell my horses apart?" He replied "cut a notch in the ear of one of the horses, and you'll be able to tell them apart."

The blonde then returns and cuts a notch in one of the horse's ears. All is well until the other horse gets his head caught in some barbed wire fencing, and notches his ear in the exact same place.

Now the blonde is getting pretty fed up with trying to tell her horses apart, so she goes back to her neighbor one last time. He tells her to measure the horses, and then come back and tell him how tall each one is.

The blonde returns a little while later, looking very excited. The neighbor asks her "So, how tall are they?" and the blonde replies.......

"Why neighbor, the black one is three inches taller than the white one!"





post #82 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn View Post
Not the sort of silly jokes we see here, but a short chuckler nonetheless.


A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as
possible. The instructions were : The short story had to contain the following three things
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery

There was only one A+ paper in the entire class. Below is the A+ short story.


Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it.
LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!
post #83 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrouchingCheese View Post
I know a couple blonde ones:

How do you know which computer is the blondes?
The one with all the white out on the screen!



An old farmer has a blonde neighbor. One day he looks over and she's walking up to him. She asks him "neighbor, I just got two horses, but I want to know how to tell them apart!" and he replies "just cut the tail of one of them short, so one's got a long tail and one has a short one."

So she cuts the tail on one of the horses and for a while she can tell the two horses apart. However, not long after this the horse with the longer tail gets his tail stuck in a pricker bush, and half of his tail hairs are ripped out. Now the tails are the same length on both of the horses.

So the blonde goes back to the neighbor and says "Neighbor, I tried the tail cutting, but now I need another way, how do I tell my horses apart?" He replied "cut a notch in the ear of one of the horses, and you'll be able to tell them apart."

The blonde then returns and cuts a notch in one of the horse's ears. All is well until the other horse gets his head caught in some barbed wire fencing, and notches his ear in the exact same place.

Now the blonde is getting pretty fed up with trying to tell her horses apart, so she goes back to her neighbor one last time. He tells her to measure the horses, and then come back and tell him how tall each one is.

The blonde returns a little while later, looking very excited. The neighbor asks her "So, how tall are they?" and the blonde replies.......

"Why neighbor, the black one is three inches taller than the white one!"





hehehe! This reminds me of a TRUE story!! Here we go. I worked in a restaurant for years. We served tea, sweet and unsweet. If you have never tried southern sweet tea you are missing out! Anyway. We put a straw in them and a lemon on the glass. One of my friends got a drink order for me, and got it ready. She then told me, "The one with two straws doesn't have a lemon." I just looked at her like she had grown three heads!
post #84 of 86
Dwayne

Knock knock!

Whose there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!




The Firetruck

A blonde was sitting by her window in her apartment, when she noticed that one of the houses down the street was on fire. She immediately called the fire department. "There is a fire in the house down the street!" she exclaimed. The operator calmly asked the blonde, "Okay, ma'am, how do we get there?" The blonde rolls her eyes and cries, "DUH! In the big red truck!"

post #85 of 86
The following is my favorite joke to date...

Purina Dog Food Diet::

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog...

(DUHHHH!!!)

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. BUT, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her).

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said "Oh, NO! I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be carried out.
post #86 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by KuntryKitty View Post
The following is my favorite joke to date...

Purina Dog Food Diet::

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog...

(DUHHHH!!!)

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. BUT, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her).

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said "Oh, NO! I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be carried out.

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