Seriously, why can't he turn off lights???

samantha1979

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OK, so my DH can not remember to turn off the lights when he leaves a room. I have put up with it for years. I would just go behind him and turn them off, after he sits down, after he leaves, whatever.

Well, no more. I am making him go back now and turn them off. I don't know why this is so hard for him. I hear it takes doing something 21 times or so to make it a habit? That won't take too long. It might take me 21 years to get him to do it. I started this last night. Last night! 4 times I had to make him go back and turn off the light!
So far twice today, but it is still light outside. It was almost 3 but, right as I was about to say something, he turned it off. I was so proud.
 

rapunzel47

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I have one of them, too.
Occasionally he remembers, but that's usually when he didn't turn it on in the first place, and I have left it on (in the utility room while I'm at the computer in the next room) to remind myself that there's laundry to take upstairs when I go. Sometimes he even takes an armful with him (good boy!)
 

menasmom

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The reason he does this is because he's a man. He will never remember to shut off the light when he leaves a room, nor will he change a roll of toilet paper or paper towels. He won't notice when the litter box needs to be scooped or when the garbage pail in the kitchen needs to be replaced with a new bag. There are just things women do automatically. We are strong, we are invincible, we are WOMEN...

(Did I just give my age away with that last line or what???)
 
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samantha1979

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Originally Posted by menasmom

The reason he does this is because he's a man. He will never remember to shut off the light when he leaves a room, nor will he change a roll of toilet paper or paper towels. He won't notice when the litter box needs to be scooped or when the garbage pail in the kitchen needs to be replaced with a new bag. There are just things women do automatically. We are strong, we are invincible, we are WOMEN...

(Did I just give my age away with that last line or what???)
Wow. There must be a man book of "Things You Don't Need To Do". My DH is exactly as you described!!
 

jugen

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I feel your pain.
My Dh likes to leave EVERY light in the house on. EVEN the bathroom for goodness sake! Now why is that? I know he isn't afraid of the dark,so when I come home from work, our house is the brightest on the block. It is annoying.
He's finally changing the TP roll though, since he has his own bathroom and I wont do it anymore. I know, I know I was amazed too the first time he told me he changed it.
I just figured he'd leave it on the back of the toilet like he used to.
If you figure out how to get a man to turn off the lights behind him, please let all the women in on the secret.
 
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samantha1979

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Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

Mine leaves cabinets open
Yeah, he does that too. And he leaves the toilet seat up. Luckily, we have separate bathrooms. He doesn't water the dog. He doesn't do ANYTHING for the cats - they're "mine". The dog is "his" yet I feed and water and let him out more than he does...


Luckily, he pays the bills. I guess he could not do all of those things and not pay bills. Actually, I pay the bills....with his money!
 

joanne511

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Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

Mine leaves cabinets open
Oh yes, that's a problem in our house too. I'm just waiting for the day that kitties try to climb the shelves. Maybe that will cure him. But probably not!
 

luvmy2cats

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I'm currently going through the same issue. I too am tired of turning them off for him. I think I'm going to put a note by the switches that reads "turn of the #$%%#$ light" I had to put a note on the toilet tank to get him to flush when he goes pee!!! Uggggg, men!!!!!
 

menasmom

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Originally Posted by Mom of 4

Dear Husband or Darling Husband.

A behaviorist in our school has said to actually change a behavior, it takes a month for each year of age. A 21 year old will take 21 months to fully change. Bleh!
I just call mine "Mr. Wonderful."
 

lunasmom

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We *had* a huge bin for his soda bottles. When we first moved in together *he* setup the bin and assigned it for that purpose. However our mistake was leaving the lid on the bin since he would leave the soda bottles ON TOP of the bin, but never in.

Drove me nuts!!! (but it still made me laugh
)
 

strange_wings

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I guess I'm lucky. DH turns stuff off behind him, rinses dishes after he uses them, and usually puts the toilet seat and lid down (to keep the cats out). No idea why he has good habits, his bother is the complete opposite and his parents are just as bad.


Funny, if unsettling little story about his brother leaving stuff on. We were over at the in laws one day and his brother had used the gas grill outside to cook himself something. Later that evening when we were leaving we noticed the thing was still on.
 

bonnie1965

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Ugh, this is exactly why I am not in a relationship. No matter how sweet or loveable some women say the guy is, if he is not capable of doing basic things around the house, it drives me crazy. I grew up the oldest of 5, with three younger brothers. I will not ever babysit or pick up after another man.

If they are adults, they can behave as adults - even if they are cute!
 

valanhb

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Originally Posted by menasmom

The reason he does this is because he's a man. He will never remember to shut off the light when he leaves a room, nor will he change a roll of toilet paper or paper towels. He won't notice when the litter box needs to be scooped or when the garbage pail in the kitchen needs to be replaced with a new bag. There are just things women do automatically. We are strong, we are invincible, we are WOMEN...

(Did I just give my age away with that last line or what???)
I just read that nodding my head. Mine is the same way. Irritates the heck out of me, especially when we're both either bone tired, or I'm sick - he'll just jump into bed while I'm wandering around the house doing the kitty chores (food bowls full, scoop litter, rinse water bowls & refill).
It never even occurs to him to help me out unless I'm so sick that I actually ask him.

His idea of the trash cans is that if it lands somewhere in the vicinity of the trash can, it's good enough. I mean, he gets the nasty food stuff in the trash can, but empty pop bottles?
Yeah right! What makes it worse is that he has a trash can in the computer room which is maybe 3 to 3 1/2 feet from him....and he can't toss the pop bottle into the can.


I gave up on the TP roll. He had his own bathroom in our last place. The only time there was ever TP on the roll was if we had expected company coming.

But he doesn't leave the toilet seat up; he does replace the paper towel roll; he does make dinner for me most of the time; he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen; and he helps take the trash out on trash day. I suppose I can live with the pop bottles close to the trash can.
 

sofiecusion

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We have separate bathooms and when he gets low on TP, he steals it out of mine! Despite the fact I put some under his sink and he knows which closet the packs are in...


He never rinses dishes or cleans up after he cooks something........nen will never learn.
 

paulena

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Ladies, I feel your pain!! Mine also is very bad about the lights, most of the time, I just go behind him and turn them off and he says, "Well, I wasn't done in there yet! I'll turn the darn light out when I get finished in there!" Problem is, he never seems to be finished in that particular room, so I just go behind him and turn the lights off.

As far as the TP roll, he has his own bathroom, I don't use it, so he has to put up the new roll!

He doesn't do the trash thing either, do you honestly think that they just simply don't think about these things OR they know we will come along and do it and not say a word about it??

Men, gotta LOVE'em!! Can't live with'em, can't live without'em!!
 

crouchingcheese

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Man I hear ya!

My SO is great, he really is, he loves me, puts up with the zoo we have here (six cats, two dogs, and a hamster), works very hard, and tries his best to make sure I have a safe and reliable car to get to work and back every day.

However, I think the whole corner of the kitchen that houses the garbage can is completely invisible to him. Never mind that he has to walk past the can to get to the microwave (his savior). Pop bottles, random boxes, bags, paper, etc. It's all strewn around the can on the floor, and covering the countertop next to the can. If he needs to use the microwave, he pushes the mountain of garbage out of the way, and then claims he never saw it. However, usually after six or seven reminders, the trash does get taken out. I still have to put a new bag in though, he can't seem to remember that part either.

He doesn't change the litter box (claims it makes him sick and gag), doesn't feed the dogs (although if he's in a particularly good mood, he'll grab the bowls for me), and forgets that my desk is not a garbage can for his crap. All of those twinkie wrappers somehow end up on my computer, and I know I'm not the one leaving them there.

The lawn gets to be three feet tall before it's mowed, although I will concede that it eventually does get mowed, with me prodding behind him with a stick.

He works second shift right? So he leaves before I get home from work. Every day, without fail, I find the bathroom light on. Every day.

TP tubes get put on top of the holder, never actually on the rolly thing.

Laundry is a foreign concept to him, although, if something really needs washed and I'm not here or I'm not going to do it, he will overcome somehow and get it done.

Sweeping? Vacuuming? Mopping? These are all foreign to him, and must not be attempted. Attempting these dangerous feats will surely kill you, and if not, will definitely maim your manhood in some painful, girly-scream inducing way.


*sigh*

Now, on to the good:

He, like I said, lets me keep the zoo. Despite the fact that Vera's terrified of everything, and poops on the windowsill if you surprise her. Despite the fact that while Brady loves me, if Dave even looks at him he's off like a rocket. Despite the fact that Honey and Cody (the dogs) have relapses in their housebreaking pretty regularly, although I do have to clean it up.

He lets me do what I want, when I want. If I want ice cream at 11 o'clock, he'll go out with me to get some. If I want to go to the zoo, then by golly, we're going to the zoo.

He tries so hard to get me a car that I actually enjoy driving, and keeps it safe and reliable for me.

He works ten hours a day, holding a ten million pound circular grinder, in a 900 degree metal tank, whilst wearing a rubber suit, five days a week, to help pay for the menagerie of pets and our home.

Although he doesn't pick up after himself like I'd like, and the bathtub looks like a nuclear warzone after he's done with it every night, he works so hard for what we have, and I'm so thankful for him because of that. I wouldn't be able to support what we have on my own, and without his support and love, I don't know what I'd do!

Sorry it's so long, I've kind of had an epiphany these last couple of weeks and have started appreciating him a lot more for the stuff he does do, rather than the stuff he doesn't.
 
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