Help! I'm really scared!

(sorry for how long this is)
Ok, so about a month ago, I let my dogs out in the morning and was sitting out there with them. Now, I have pretty bad vision. I can't legally drive without my contacts in. So I went to call my 2 dogs to come inside, and only the one came. My other is known to get into things she isn't supposed to, so I walked around to the other side of the shed thinking that where she was at... She wasn't there. She wasn't in the back yard at all. I looked over and realized that the back gate was open. I ran out, and saw her down the block. Thank god she came when I called her.

Later that night I asked my DH if he had used the back gate at all. He hadn't. So someone had come into our yard. So we put a lock on it. I thought maybe it was a stupid kid screwing around.

Well, last night, my DH and I let the dogs out before going to bed. I looked over and realized that the FRONT gate was open. I ran over and shut it before the dogs ran out. I looked at my DH and asked him if he had used the front gate. He said "no. It was closed when I let them out earlier" Earlier was about 5 hours previous. I know I didn't go out it.

I was sitting there and it hit me. The dogs had barked a few minutes before my DH had gotten back home with dinnrer. That must have been when someone came into the yard....

Nothing is ever been stolen, or moved other then the gates.... Someone must have been watching our house to have known that my DH had left. I think I may have a peeping tom. We put a lock on the front gate now too. We also put up blinds in the computer room since thats where I spend a good deal of time doing school work. And since it is one of the rooms visible from the back yard.

What should I do!?!?!?! I'm really freaked out! I dont want to call the police and say "yeah, someone moved my gate" BUt I'm really scared. What if this person tries to harm me. There's quite a few sexual predators that live within a 1 mile radius of us, too. It's not like this person was trying to steal anything. The shed was unlocked and we have everything from powertools, to mopeds in there.

Does anyone know of anything I can do to help stop this person, or anything I can do to help protect myself? I really just dont know what to do...
ANY suggestions would help...

you can call the police (non emergency #) and have someone come out, explain to them what's going on. They are often more than happy to have a patrol go by your house a few times more than usual. Especially if you think someone is trying to break in.

Make sure and keep your doors locked at all times. I would have some pepper spray with me all the time also to to be safe.This is scarey..Do call the police department and talk with them about what has been happening so they are aware of the problem.They will send patrol cars by more often to check.

OMG! I know exactly how you feel! When I broke up with Psycho Dan, he stalked me for nearly 18 months. I found footprints in the snow all around my house, especially under the windows, so I knew I was being watched. It makes you feel SO violated! I even had a personal protection order against him, and I couldn't get the police to do drive-bys.
By all means, call the police and tell them that someone is opening your gates and coming into your yard. Get it documented with the police, in case something does happen. It's good that you've put locks on the gates, that might be all you need to do to deter this individual.....if it's no longer 'easy', or he now has to work at it, he might not bother anymore. I sincerely hope he moves on to bother someone else. Good luck!

Whoa! Calm down. You're getting yourself worked up over "what ifs!"

All you saw were open gates. You haven't seen anyone and nothing has been disturbed or stolen, so all you are doing is speculating and getting yourself upset.

There could be any number of reasons for an open gate. Perhaps a kid retrieving a ball from the yard. Maybe someone using the yard as a cut through and not closing the gate after them.

I agree on calling the police department on a non-emergency case and having someone come out to check around. If there are sexual predators around, I'm sure the police know who they are.

And they would start making a few extra runs thru the neighborhood. Also maybe talk to the neighbors near by who might have fences and see if anyone else is experiencing similar things.

DH also suggests you go to Home Depot and for about $100-150 you can pick up a decent security camera (color) and mount it under the eaves at the back and the front to see if anyone is coming in the yard and who they are.

i found this advise on a highly reputable self-defnes website. this is really good advise from an expert. i would have ur dh go get some plywood.

The 12 guage is for home protection, mainly when I'm gone.
My wife knows how to use it quite well and the instructions are well understood.
Her bedroom and the shotgun are on the second floor.
If she believes she is in danger she retrieves the shotgun from its high but convenient hiding place.
She first chambers a shell.
See previous reference to the attention getting sound of a shotgun being cycled.
If she still perceives a threat she fires the rifle.
The first shot goes into the ceiling to focus everyone's attention. (I've put a heavy piece of plywood above the ceiling in the bedroom to keep from blowing a hole in the roof!)
This also allows for the case of mistaken identity to not require anymore than patching the ceiling.
She then cycles it again and shouts a demand to leave the premises.
The second shot, in the unlikely case its needed, goes down the stairs.
She can do this from a completely protected position and also have access to a phone.

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more details....

Just providing a weapon for defense without a plan of action is not likely to work very well, but also dangerous. You have to accept that if you think you need to resort to a weapon the adrenaline level will be very high, so it is important to have a simple plan which has been rehearsed and also allows for the potential that the threat is not real.

The first thing we ruled out was a handgun. If you've ever shot one you know that accuracy at any distance is questionable and range is excessive in a home situation. We wanted something that did not require much skill to use and that would be intimidating just by firing it.

Answer: pump shotgun.

Given the weapon, we planned the strategy together and came up with this plan.

We then walked it through with an unloaded shotgun several times and made a few adjustments.

The first adjustment was to put the plywood in the attic as my wife expressed too much concern during the walk throughs about blowing a needless hole in the roof. But putting the plywood up had less to do with reduced damage to the house as it was to remove any hesitation my wife had in firing that crucial warning shot!

The next problem was the ability to rapidly retrieve the weapon, yet not have it lying about.

We decided to put it above the door in the closet by the bed.

You can't see it without entering the closet, turning back almost under the door and looking up. To achieve this we put a cross closet shelf just past the door. Someone using the closet would not typically see it, in fact would think the shelf butts against the wall. A child could not reach it without a stepstool and there is no stepstool upstairs, yet both my wife and I can retrieve it quickly by feel from the closet doorway (We're both 5'10") .

The closet also provides a tactical advantage as you can cover the bedroom door and yet be hard to see while remaining fairly covered.

In our run throughs though we quickly discovered that if the intruder did not turn the light on it would be difficult to identify them at night. So I installed a motion detector light in the landing at the top of the stairs. Anyone reaching the landing at the top of the stairs will be well illuminated, while the closet is dark. The light is hot wired and can't be switched off. After that change, we tried some visual tests and they showed that one can not readily make out someone crouched in the closet, yet the person has a very clear view of someone on the landing, while they are shielded by the bed and the closet wall.

The rifle is loaded but does not have a shell chambered. The safety is on.
A cordless phone sits on the nightstand, next to the closet door.

My wife is an excellent shot and in fact enjoys shooting. (That Ben-Sheridan rifle I posted was a Christmas present to her several years ago!)

Every now and again we take the rifle down and practice with it. When it comes back I clean it and reload it with fresh ammo.

The cost and time to think this through and then set this up was minor. The peace of mind it gives my wife when I'm out of town is major.

I don't think she will ever have to resort to this.

The chance of a home invasion is pretty slim.

However there have been a few too many incidents resulting in the death/torture or rape of several unarmed homeowners within a few mile radius of our house within the past few years. In almost every case the people were asleep upstairs when burglers broke in.

When you hear the glass break is not the time to wish you had some way of protecting yourself.

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good luck, sweetie and stay safe.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Whoa! Calm down. You're getting yourself worked up over "what ifs!"

All you saw were open gates. You haven't seen anyone and nothing has been disturbed or stolen, so all you are doing is speculating and getting yourself upset.

There could be any number of reasons for an open gate. Perhaps a kid retrieving a ball from the yard. Maybe someone using the yard as a cut through and not closing the gate after them.

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I disagree...you should never disregard a feeling or instinct... she is probably feeling worried and scared for a reason.

She should definitely call a non-emergency police number to at least alert them and the neighborhood to the situation.

Worse case, it is all for nothing, but at least she will feel at easy and know that she may have averted worse things from happening!!

It may not be something bad, but, go on you instincts. Every time I've NOT paid heed to my instincts, I later found out I was right.

Ok, disclaimer here: What I'm about to say is not to scare the wits out of you. Realize, even if someone's trying to hurt you, you have a lot more power over the situation than you think! Harness this thought, and you will not be scared. You CAN protect yourself, and you DON'T have to be a victim.
I've had crimes that almost happened, if not for a locked door; and also spend a lot of time alone at home; yet I don't feel scared. I know I can take care of myself, which is very empowering. Even for the satisfaction of not letting the b*stards get the better of you, do it! The criminals WANT a woman to be scared; I'll be damned if they'll do this to me!

Like everyone else said, call the police and explain the situation to them. The security camera may even be a deterrent if they see it; at the very least, you'll know if someone has been there, and what they were doing. When you're alone, make sure ALL windows and doors are securely locked, especially if you have a walk-out basement, attached garage, etc. "Sweep" the whole house for security breaches--you may be surprised as to what you'll find--it's amazing what a homeowner can be oblivious to, but bad guys will see, and use to get in your house. Do you have an alarm system? Is there soemthing you could wire an alarm up to the gate? Do you have "Beware of dog signs"? (This is controversial. Some think they may be a deterrent; others think the criminals make just decide to shoot the dogs, and proceed with the crime. I personally think it may help you. Even though I don't have a dog, I bought a $1.25 sign!)

Have you been getting any weird phone calls/call where someone just hangs up when you speak, or holds on, not speaking when you answer? If so, mention this to the police; and keep track of the calls, noting the times, whether you were alone, etc. It may help the police should this turn out to be somehting sinister.

Don't answer the door, unless 1. You're expecting someone, and
2. They announce themselves by full name, and you know them. You may want to go to Home Depot/Lowe's, etc., and buy a wireless intercom to put by your front door. They run about $85-$200.

Have good lighting all around the property; we also have motion-sensitive lights (be warned, they often come on if small animals, bugs, etc. are near them).

Do you have a gun, and do you know how to load and use it safely? If you have one, said "No" to the rest of the question, learn how--does your DH know how; can he teach you at a firing range? I've heard you can get police instruction for this, if you're learning to shoot for protection. I have a .38, and have used mine. Bear in mind: I am NOT advocating reckless defensive shooting! I think of "Mr. .38" as a last resort, when other methods will not work, such as fleeing the house to get help, etc. Pulling a gun on a criminal is basically a declaration of war; they'll pull theirs, and theirs may be a better weapon, so think this one over. IF YOU PULL A GUN, YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO BATTLE TO THE DEATH. YOU CANNOT USE IT AS A DECOY TO SCARE THEM AWAY. YOU MUST BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY PREPARED TO USE IT, AND USE IT FAST, WITHOUT QUESTIONING IT. SHOOT TO KILL, not wound. Question the usage BEFORE you draw it! Hubby and I shoot for fun at gun ranges, and even I would not always be willing to use a gun a some defense circumtances (however, I'm very glad it's at least an option, especially when he's not here. I had an incident 2 years ago; if the creep had been able to get in [my door was locked, but he was turning the handle], would've used it!). I know this may be a very difficult concept, especially for women. But, you have to psych yourself. When I practice at the range with the .38 (the .38 is just for protection; we shoot more "exotic" firearms just for fun), I try to visualize the target as an attacker, and practice shooting at various distances. I try to muster as much anger and adrenaline as I can, and shoot.

Please let us know what happens, and take care of yourself. You'll be in my thoughts!

Originally Posted by catgirl2548m

i found this advise on a highly reputable self-defnes website. this is really good advise from an expert. i would have ur dh go get some plywood.



more details....



good luck, sweetie and stay safe.

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Awww...the sound of a shotgun "racking" usually makes a criminal think twice!

Many good points in the above article.

Do you have a security system installed in your home? If not, maybe you should look into getting one? I'd be scared too! At night I like to close all the curtains and blinds (and lock all the doors) in our house! I don't want anyone loooking in!!

Another good thing you could do would be to get a couple of motion detector lights for your front and back yards. That way if someone was sneaking in, the light would turn on, and hopefully scare them enough to get out of there.

Another good thing you have is the fact that you have dogs. The think about dogs is they make noise and if an intruder sees dogs chances are they will look elsewhere due to the fact that dogs bark and then the neighbors start looking and chances are the intruder may be spotted and the police will be called. If for nothing else then because your dogs are creating a disturbance. All of my dogs are watch dogs one reason is because we live so far out. Another when I did live in town I had a pit mix and she actually was the one who caught a peeping tom the guy kept going by my window so one night mom decided to put cindy outside by the window and sure enough he came by and we heard screaming and mom ran to the door with an axe in hand and cindy had the guy down and she ended up with the guys glasses and he didn't come back again. Now I am not advacating doing this but the thing is in all honesty the guy was casing our house and what would he have done if he had caught me at home by myself. And if I hadn't had cindy he might of tried something anyway.

I was thinking, as somebody posted before, the motion detector lights might be a good idea. Anything that draw attention to the predator is a deterent. Also if this really is a peeping Tom, he probably lives nearby. Calling the non-emergency police and having them check out the situation will send him a clear message that you are aware!

He might even be intentionally leaving the gate open in hopes that it scares you. That might be the reaction he's looking for. When you see something that frightens you try to remain as calm as possible. Dogs are very intuitive will most likely know when someone a threat. If you stay calm it might worry him that you have a reason to be calm, and that could scare him away.

A gun is a good idea. If you do go that route, make sure everyone in your home gets safety lessons on how to use them. Keep it well hidden in a windowless room so that you have first access to it, and not the intruder. Most NRA ranges have really good safety classes on using firearms, and getting a little firing practice under your belt. It helps make you comfortable with the weapon as well as give an idea of your accuracy. You'd be surprised at how accurate women are the first time they shoot a gun. I have sticker on my front door much like those "This house is secured by IDT alarm systems", but mine says "This house is secured by Smith & Wesson" and it has a nice little picture to get the point across.

As for the "beware of dogs" sign, I've heard that it invites litigation. Someone told me that if you put a sign like that up, and your dog intentionally or unintentionally bites someone, it's basically an admission that your dog was aggressive to begin with. I'm not sure how true that is, and quite frankly I have a hard time believing it, but just in case, I don't have one of those signs.

I can't believe an open gate has turned into a thread filled with mass hysteria and talk about 12 guage shot guns.

I really think that the OP has herself worked up into such a state for no valid reason. An open gate is nothing to go off of the deep end about. Certainly not a reason to go out and arm yourself with a shotgun!

Personally, guns scare the tar out of me. I am going to get some pepper spray though.

The thing about it being someone cutting through my yard or a kid getting their lost ball is...
A) My back gate has had a lock on it for a month now. No one would walk through my yard anyway since none of my neighbors cut the grass in the alley and its about 6 feet tall on either side of my house....
B) there are no children in my neighborhood because most of the sexual predators were busted for lewd acts on a child under 16. If you had a kid, would you move into a zip code that had over 150 sexual predators? Most of my neighbors are middle aged redecks...

I have lived here for over 2 years and have never had someone open my gate until last month... Now all of a sudden, it gets left open twice in a matter of 4-5 weeks? Kinda odd....

I think whoever left the gate open last night may have been caught off gaurd by my DH coming back home.

Thank you all for your concern... I really appreciate the ideas...

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I can't believe an open gate has turned into a thread filled with mass hysteria and talk about 12 guage shot guns.

I really think that the OP has herself worked up into such a state for no valid reason. An open gate is nothing to go off of the deep end about. Certainly not a reason to go out and arm yourself with a shotgun!

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I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I agree with you. I see no valid reason to get all worked up if nothing has been taken and nobody has been seen in the yard. Our neighbor got all worked up because she saw someone in our yard one day while we were at work but it turns out some teenagers were using our yard as a shortcut to a friends house. The next time I saw them do it I asked them to stop and they've ever did it again.

Ok here are some li ks to some low cost security measures that you could take...
Wlamart have this weatherproof camera that hooks up to your tv for under $50

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=4922208

Also from Walmart a solar powered flood light maye you could direct these on your acces points? $25
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=5685182

My father in Law is partially disabled and have a camera set up at there home, so he can see if he should get up and answer the door or if he should ignore it, the camera is hidden, they also use it for security, at the begining of the summer they had there truck stolen from the drive in BROAD DAYLIGHT! thankfuly father in law was sleeping otherwise he would have been out there with his gun, The camera got everything, but due to the plates being fake on the truck that did the towing of his truck they never caught the thiefes. The Camera deffinatly helped them...its a good security measure to have, even if you have no worries

The items I posted are just ones I found online...no idea about reviews and such, but hope it helps

I don't live in the ghetto, but I wouldn't call it a great part of town... The neighbor on the corner is a drunk and his girl is a crackhead. (ONe day I heard her scream "you smoked my rock") My other neighbor was carjacked 2 blocks down the road. And just 2 days ago a dead body was found in a ditch 3 blocks away. In a trailer park about 1.5 miles down the road,is where 108 sexual predators live. Like I said... Its not a fantastic neighborhood.

So even if this whole thing really isn't a big deal.... It's still good to know ways that I can protect myself in case something else ever were to happen. I don't think my 5'3, 115 pound self is enough to scare someone away if they did want to do me harm.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I can't believe an open gate has turned into a thread filled with mass hysteria and talk about 12 guage shot guns.

I really think that the OP has herself worked up into such a state for no valid reason. An open gate is nothing to go off of the deep end about. Certainly not a reason to go out and arm yourself with a shotgun!

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Natalie, things are different in the US and most folks feel much differently than we do about guns.

I would install motion detector lights - even if they are tripped by small animals, at least they are quiet and will likely deter any peeping tom.

If you live in a bad area, then yes, I would alert the police about your fears. It certainly can't hurt.