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I can't believe my sister

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
My sister has said some crazy stuff before but man. She told a family friend of ours that she did not think I was mentally compitent and that after my dad dies she was going to make me move in with her and that she was going to keep my paychecks and whatever other money I earn and give me an allowance based upon what she thinks I need and that she will get "rid" of my cat and my dogs. And that she does not think I am emotionally or physically capable of taking care of myself. I just can't believe she would say this stuff.
post #2 of 25
Oh no. Thats awful.

Im sorry you had to hear that.
post #3 of 25
Any idea what made her say something soo aweful? I would be extremly upset. Have you talked with her about what she has said and let her know your thoughts? I would make it well known that you do not appreciate what she has said about you.
post #4 of 25
OMG, what an awful thing to say! I'm sorry Gail
post #5 of 25
What a wicked and mean spirited thing to say. Can you talk to your dad about this? Hopefully he can ensure that when he dies she is the last person who becomes responsible for you. Not that you'd need a guardian, but if she was mean enough to say something like that, who knows what she would act on.
post #6 of 25
What in the world!?! I'd be having a talk with her. And I'd be doing all the talking!
post #7 of 25
I would definetely bring it up to your Dad and her. How rude of her to say that!
post #8 of 25
It doesn't sound like she is emotionally capable of taking care of you either!! What a selfish, mean thing to say to someone, especially to a sister.
post #9 of 25
Thread Starter 
Well she didn't say this to my face she told someone else and that makes it worse. I talked to my dad about it and he said well you don't even know if she said it or not. And he was quiet and he had this look like he agreed with her. I have never needed a guardian I have been taking care of myself since I was in the second grade that's when dad started leaving me at home alone. And I am not really sure how to approach her with this because the person who told me about this told me this like she was telling me in confidence. And she asked me not to say anything and I don't want to break her trust but I don't want my sister saying these things about me. I know for the longest time she said that I would never get my drivers liscences and when I do work she says it doesn't count because I work in a nursing home and that's not real work. And I don't know why she thinks I would be allowed to work in a nursing home if I wasn't capable of taking care of my own self. I just can't believe she even thinks this way much less that she tells other people this.
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShopCat View Post
It doesn't sound like she is emotionally capable of taking care of you either!! What a selfish, mean thing to say to someone, especially to a sister.

That bears repeating!
post #11 of 25
Thread Starter 
What gets me is that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself so I don't know why she thinks she needs to do anything for me. About the only thing I don't do is to work on my car but that's why we have mechanics in the world
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
My sister has said some crazy stuff before but man. She told a family friend of ours that she did not think I was mentally compitent and that after my dad dies she was going to make me move in with her and that she was going to keep my paychecks and whatever other money I earn and give me an allowance based upon what she thinks I need and that she will get "rid" of my cat and my dogs. And that she does not think I am emotionally or physically capable of taking care of myself. I just can't believe she would say this stuff.
Ok what confuses me is that you are 26 and a nurses aid (checked your profile lol) er..where does your sister get off on saying something like that behind your back, when you are not underage and you're working?? And WHY would you father agree with her?? What right do these people have over your life???????
post #13 of 25
Thread Starter 
I don't know they act like I don't have the good sense God gave a billy goat even though I am not the one who was in jail for six months for drugs she was. And I have been working since I was 18 and she has worked for a very short period of time
post #14 of 25
Do you live on your own? If not, then I urge you to start making plans to move as soon as possible! What your sister said sounds awful, and more than a little suspicious considering her drug conviction, and your dad's response is troubling. If you are capable of taking care of yourself, like most adults, then there is no way for what she plans to do to happen, unless you give her the power over you, yourself. Good luck!

Tricia
post #15 of 25
Are you currently emancipated? Or do you have a legal guardian right now? If so, can you start the process of emancipation? A court and medical professionals should be able to support your desire to be independent. Do you have a social worker that you work with that you can relay your concerns to?

I'm not sure how it works, but it sounds to me like you are a fully functioning human being with responsibilities and the capability to handle them. I would try to get yourself free and clear at least on paper before anything happens to your dad. If your sister really did say that, her intentions sound a little suspect.
post #16 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoriana View Post
Ok what confuses me is that you are 26 and a nurses aid (checked your profile lol) er..where does your sister get off on saying something like that behind your back, when you are not underage and you're working?? And WHY would you father agree with her?? What right do these people have over your life???????
This is exactly what I was thinking.

Either there's more to the story, ie you have some kind of legal issue where your dad is legally responsible for you, OR you are on your own and this comment was frivilous, dumb and lacking any substance whatsoever. Even if you still live at home, if you're over 18 you are an adult and no one can take that away from you unless there is a serious incapacitation reason for it.
post #17 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cairo View Post
Are you currently emancipated? Or do you have a legal guardian right now? If so, can you start the process of emancipation? A court and medical professionals should be able to support your desire to be independent. Do you have a social worker that you work with that you can relay your concerns to?

I'm not sure how it works, but it sounds to me like you are a fully functioning human being with responsibilities and the capability to handle them. I would try to get yourself free and clear at least on paper before anything happens to your dad. If your sister really did say that, her intentions sound a little suspect.
That's just it I don't have a legal guardian because I don't need one. But yet she seems to think that I need one. I do live at home but its not because I need help its because my dad asked me to after my divorce. And yes it did take me a bit to get on my feet after my divorce but I think it does that to everyone. I think my sister wants to have me declared incompitent but she can't do that because I am in my right mind and I am perfectly capable of doing for myself she just wants to get a hold of my money. Which isn't going to happen she is a selfish, selfcentered, spoiled little brat. And I just can't understand what would make her talk about me like that. If she was anyone but my sister I would sue her for slander. But I guess I will just keep an eye on her and see what happens.
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
I don't know they act like I don't have the good sense God gave a billy goat even though I am not the one who was in jail for six months for drugs she was. And I have been working since I was 18 and she has worked for a very short period of time
Maybe she is just thinking that you would be her meal ticket. It takes a lot to have someone declared incompetent and to take legal guardianship.
post #19 of 25
Sounds like your sister is after any money you may have IMO. Sisters can be cruel, trust me I know from personal experience.
post #20 of 25
How can she possible say working in a nursing homes is a "real job"???? I've never worked in one, but I know the women that took care of my mom when she was in one ran their butts off. I couldn't do that job! Out of curiousity...what does SHE do for a living?

She's not going to be able to declare you incompetant because she would have to prove that to a judge and the courts. But, I would be so upset about this comment. Maybe you did was non-commital because he doesn't want to get in the middle of it, not necessarily that he agrees with her.
post #21 of 25
It's probably more than just the money. Your sister obviously wants to have power over your life. You are a shining example of how a person in adverse circumstances (divorce) can thrive and overcome (nurse's assistant). You are an example of everything she is not and she wants to have control over you so that she can feel she is better than you. Such family members are not worth their weight in cat $#!+ and should be regarded as such.

Be strong and confident. Be careful also, and watch your back. The attacks are likely to continue behind your back. I suggest you divert her by drawing attention to her shortcomings. Perhaps you're concerned about her impending drug relapse or have reason to believe that her employment status is in question because she's such a slacker and doesn't have much experience in the working world. It sounds mean to do this, but mean, hurtful and aggressive people (in my all too extensive experience) only understand attack and defense. Time to put her on the defensive for your own safety.

X
post #22 of 25
Sounds like she is jealous of you and only wants to be greedy and get access to your money. I would not trust her and stay as far away from her as possible. There is no way she could do any good for you.
post #23 of 25
Wouldn't your sister have to take the matter to court & somehow prove that you are incompetent? From what you've said so far, it doesn't seem that she could, no matter if you're living at home or not. And it seems like you could turn a case like that around in your favor, if she's been to jail.
I don't know how close you are to them, but maybe you should think of moving away from them & concentrate more on the positives that you have the power to bring into your own life.
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShopCat View Post
I don't know how close you are to them, but maybe you should think of moving away from them & concentrate more on the positives that you have the power to bring into your own life.
Exactly! When I said you should "consider moving ASAP," I hope you didn't take it to mean that she'd could actually do implement her threats if you were both living together. I don't think she'd have a snowball's chance ever, but I think it would be less stressful for you. I've lived in situations where I thought one of my family members was conspiring against me or knew they considered me incompetent, and it's no fun at all.

Tricia
post #25 of 25
Thread Starter 
Well my dad wants me here but I have already told him things have got to get better or I am going to find a place where I can take Tavia, Lilly, and Macy and move. The problem is Macy is a big dog so it might be a bit tough
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