How to break up with a boyfriend?

carolpetunia

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Originally Posted by theimp98

lol or

once was a sweet thing baby
we held alot of love in are hands
now i reach to kiss your lips
and it just dont mean a thing,
Now that's a cold shot, babe
Yeah, that's a drag
That's a cold shot, babe
We've let our love go ba-a-ad...
 

pjk5900

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Hey, Watch Judge Judy

They have these cases alllll the time.

They owe their share of the rent & utilities and you CAN enforce it (small claims court) if their names are on the lease.

If not you take you own risk.

If nothing else, cut your losses and in December, RELOCATE without any contact of these losers/users.
 

renovia

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you've made up your mind.

move out now.

look for adds for roommates, talk to your dad - i'm sure your dad doesn't want you to live with someone you don't love blah blah - he wants what's best for you and will probably make compomises in the short term

get your stuff out of there before it becomes ugly.
 

lunasmom

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I definitely agree with the others about paying only your 1/3.

Since all 3 of you signed a contract for that lease, you are only responsible for your 1/3. If the other two do not pay up then the landlord can go after them for the money. Their portion of the rent is not your responsibility. If all 3 of your are lease holders, then you only need to pay 1/3.

You would never lose the house if you were paying...worse case is that the lease is either broken or you get 2 new roommates.
 

siggav

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I was stuck in a somewhat similar situation (living with someone who didn't have a job and was paying for everything).

I ended up moving out and renting on my own, completely fed up with sharing my living space with another person. It was very hard and I didn't really afford it because I'd been paying for everything! I managed to scrape through, got a bit of money from my parents to help and then spent a few months being very broke as things were settling.

It was worth it though. My old place didn't allow cats so the main concern when I searched around for a new place was that they'd allow cats. I found one and got Nikita. She doesn't pay the bills either but that's ok
 

trixie23

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Stop paying all of the bills. Pay 1/3 like you should be. They should be paying their share.

Also, why can't you take your cat to your dad's for a few months while you save up enough to pay a deposit and first and last months rent on a new place?
See this could get messy. If she only pays 1/3 her landlord could still take her to court (as well as the two other parties) for the balance that hasnt been paid (Ive been here and talked to lawyers) unless the original lease states that each occupant is responsible for 1/3 of the rent, I know in my lease agreement it does not state a set amount of what each party is responsible for financially, they leave it up to the parties to decide that. If the 1/3 party payment is NOT listed in the lease... What will save her would be a written agreement between her, the bf, and the roomate stating each is responsible for 1/3 of the rent. If this agreement exists it will work wonders. If the other two parties do not pay their rent, the landlord could go after tiffany for the cash (they will go after all parties), all tiffany would have to do is take that written agreement to small claims court (proving there is an agreement) and small claims will make the boys pay 1/3 of each month they hadnt paid rent (if all works in favor) therefor she wouldnt have to pay more than she has already (if you have kept your rent payments on records this helps as well)... It no longer is her issue as much as it is theres. Once again this only applies if the original lease does not state that each party is responsible for 1/3. Every situation is different depending on your landlords terms... This is just speaking in my experience and what I was told by lawyers.

This is how it works when one cannot get off a lease. Last year when i broke up with my bf I tried getting off of our lease. The landlord wouldnt let me because the bf didnt make enough (to their quota) to pay for the place on his own (which was bs)... So i called a lawyer. The lawyer told me that since the landlord wouldnt let me off the lease that I could write a written agreement with the bf stating "That i was no longer responsible for any financial owings to the apartment"... This included rent, responsibility for any damages that may be caused etc... I also stated that I was no longer living on the premises Here is the effie part...

If my bf failed to pay rent then the complex/landlord would come after me for the cash (since I was still on the lease) what I would have to do is bring my written agreement to small claims court (proving that me and the other party had an agreement) and they'd toss out the case against me, therefor making the bf responsible for all the financial debt. I learned all this talking to lawyers and landlords. If she can get off the lease this wont apply, if she cant its something to consider. I would call a lawyer (free consult) and explain the situation... It is always best to cover your ***... definitely call the landlord first and go from there!

Considering that neither party has a job it is unlikely that she will be taken off the lease (unless you have a nice landlord), unless they can find a roomie that is qualified to cover all the expenses (which Im doubting in these cases).

In any case you can also take your roomies to court and go after them each for the 1/3 they HAVENT been paying this whole time (with proof of agreement of your lease agreement). Things can get ugly... Theyve been playing games with you, just remember the ball is in your hand...

This is not to worry you, im just throwing all odds (worst and easy case scenario) so you know what to expect. Things may not get as extreme as I listed. If you have a decent landlord he may let you off the lease (maybe he'll just evict the two roomies) just explain your situation and go from there.
 

zissou'smom

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She might have to keep paying them (and I've been through it too, lived with my busted-broke ex) but she can still sue them afterwards. I know you don't want to, but their not paying the bills is ruining your life, since you want to leave but can't afford to.
 

trixie23

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Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

She might have to keep paying them (and I've been through it too, lived with my busted-broke ex) but she can still sue them afterwards. I know you don't want to, but their not paying the bills is ruining your life, since you want to leave but can't afford to.
EXACTLY.... best consult a lawyer/landlord before deciding to only pay your 1/3. That can bite you in the arse, no joke. LOL thanks zissou's mom for saying all I had said in less words...
 

trixie23

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Originally Posted by catgirl2548m

id leave now. keep paying ur 1/3 of the rent but start paying none of the other bills. move in with ur dad until december and then find a new apartment.
Not a smart move especially since she is still on the lease, read my previous post carefully. Even if she pays her 1/3 they can still come after her for the rest if the other two parties arent paying their share.
 

catgirl2548m

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Originally Posted by trixie23

Not a smart move especially since she is still on the lease, read my previous post carefully. Even if she pays her 1/3 they can still come after her for the rest if the other two parties arent paying their share.
yeah, but then it would force evil-bf to talk to her if they both got sued. catgirl always thinks ahead, lol!
 

trixie23

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Originally Posted by catgirl2548m

yeah, but then it would force evil-bf to talk to her if they both got sued. catgirl always thinks ahead, lol!
May be so but that leaves her liable and can leave a nasty mark on her renting/credit history if things dont work out in her favor. Granted she could take it to small claims and try to sue the two roomies for rent they have not paid, but there is no guarentee that things will go her way... Most likely yes, but it is a long process of events to get there. Trust me I know, my bf was sued by a landlord he use to rent from (for breaking his lease early and not paying his way out of the lease, he just left)... The landlord got all his money and then some.
 
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mybabyphx

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Just an update:

Well, last night when I got home from work my bf asked me "What's wrong?" I told him "Look, I've been trying to talk to you about this... but I'm not happy here. I'm not sure what I should do, but I know we really need to sit down and talk." blah blah blah....

He freaked. "Oh so what? your leaving? Huh? Whatever Tiff, it's over. It's over. It's been over. Whatever!"

I asked him what we were going to do since we can't all still live in that house. He said he doesn't know. i asked him if he thought I should go live with my dad for awhile... he told me he will talk to me tonight after work.

He slept in the spare bedroom.


So, yeah we fought last night about it.... but I think it's over officially. he broke up with me... it's definetly over.

Oh by the way... he informed me last night that he got a job.
He starts today... a whole whoppin' $7.00 an hour. YIPPPPPEEEEEEEE

I make in 1 week more then they make combined in 1 week.


So, he said we were going to talk about it tonight to see what we are going to do.

By the way: The whole issue with me bringing PHX to my dad's is my dad has 2 dogs and 1 cat already. His cat is indoor/outdoor so there's a doggy door to roam in and out as they please.
He doesn't really even like cats that much anyways.... so I don't know if he'll allow me to bring yet another cat into the house- what if PHX doesn't get along with his animals.

And about the bills:

Rental Contract: everyone's name is on it. In there it states that we are each to pay 1\\3 of the rent, but also it said something about we are responsible for the payments as a whole. Meaning even if they don't pay- we're still responsible aka I'm still responsible for paying it.

Water bill: my name

Electricity bill: my name

Cell phone bill: my name- it's our only phone in the house
 

littleraven7726

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OK. I'm going to chime in. I've had experience with roommates that skipped town. I was left in a pinch with an apartment I couldn't afford (originally my roommie and her BF - that she broke up with- lived with me).

Step 1. Talk to the Land Lord. My land lord allowed me to transfer my lease to a much cheaper 1-bedroom. (LL owned many properties)

Step 2. If BF and roomie are not paying any bills. First to go would be CABLE. Then Phone service if you have a phone to the house in your name. Does BF have a cell phone on your plan? If yes, drop his line like a hot potato. Does he use you're computer to game online? Lock it down. And so on...

Any questions--he can start paying his share of the bills. My roommate, when her BF lived with us, paid all of his bills. He was supposed to pay 1/3 rent, bills, etc. But because it was his GF he felt he didn't need to because "he didn't have his own room". yes. That was his lame-
excuse.

My roommate had a mental breakdown and left town with me holding the lease. It wasn't fun. It wasn't pretty. But quick and painful like taking off a band-aid is the best way to go. Get it over with.

Like the others said. Dads don't like their daughters to be treated bad. I'm sure he'd let you keep your kitty in your room for a couple months til you got back on your feet if you go that route.

And sue the pants off BF and roomie for the money they owe you. If they don't show up, you win, and their wages are garnished.
As others said, Judge Judy, Judge Joe and The People's Court have those cases all the time.
 

trixie23

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Originally Posted by mybabyphx

Just an update:

Well, last night when I got home from work my bf asked me "What's wrong?" I told him "Look, I've been trying to talk to you about this... but I'm not happy here. I'm not sure what I should do, but I know we really need to sit down and talk." blah blah blah....

He freaked. "Oh so what? your leaving? Huh? Whatever Tiff, it's over. It's over. It's been over. Whatever!"

I asked him what we were going to do since we can't all still live in that house. He said he doesn't know. i asked him if he thought I should go live with my dad for awhile... he told me he will talk to me tonight after work.

He slept in the spare bedroom.


So, yeah we fought last night about it....

Oh by the way... he informed me last night that he got a job.
He starts today... a whole whoppin' $7.00 YIPPPPPEEEEEEEE

I make in 1 week more then they make combined in 1 week.


So, he said we were going to talk about it tonight to see what we are going to do.

By the way: The whole issue with me bringing PHX to my dad's is my dad has 2 dogs and 1 cat already. His cat is indoor/outdoor so there's a doggy door to roam in and out as they please.
He doesn't really even like cats that much anyways.... so I don't know if he'll allow me to bring yet another cat into the house- what if PHX doesn't get along with his animals.

And about the bills:

Rental Contract: everyone's name is on it. In there it states that we are each to pay 1\\3 of the rent, but also it said something about we are responsible for the payments as a whole. Meaning even if they don't pay- we're still responsible aka I'm still responsible for paying it.

Water bill: my name

Electricity bill: my name

Cell phone bill: my name- it's our only phone in the house
Call your landlord and lawyer as I stated on what you need to do to get off the lease, you probably wont be able to (just being honest, the two just got jobs this week) but there may be a way to legally cover your arse. Call for a free consultation.
 

lisasha3

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Originally Posted by Skyefire

Hi Tiffany

I feel for you, been there done that. My ex was a total a-hole when it came to talking, the minute I opened my mouth, he took it like an attack and blocked me out, and just got mad. We tried the break, it honestly did not work out made things worse.
Originally Posted by My cat Mellow

Ok so I been there done that and got the tshirt!

I loved my ex, but when I looked at my relationship I saw no future, I didnt want his kids and couldnt live with him.

We had a break,

we got back together

we had another break

got back together

this went on for 6 months, in that time I changed my style of clothes listened to different music and became me again.

In December I haad to say enough was enough, on off relationships dont work, unless you really want them to, for both of us it was a convienience thing, we were together for 5 years I was 17 he was 19. I really really wish I had the strenght to end it properly when we first broke up(it was him who endeded it but I understood and didnt want to be with him either. it was he who kept wanting me back even tho he broke it off the first time.
Ok - my
. My story is a little different than above. My boyfriend and I have had good times and bad over the past almost 10 years. Things (similar to your feelings) just seemed to get worse and worse and I truely thought I didn't love him anymore. It seemed the spark was gone and I was truely ready to break it off - which I did. Some of the folks here have known my stories on breaking it off with him and helping me find other guys to date. We did break things off almost a year ago, I did date other guys during that time and he dated other girls. Well, we are now back together and have been for a few months and I am so happy and so is he. It took breaking up, exploring the world and other options to realize that we truely do love each other more than anything. A breakup period doesn't work for many, but it did work for us. It brought us back to reality and made us realize just how happy we actually were together. Things are great now, we have discussed things that have been issues in the past in our relationship and have come to an agreement on a lot of things. Prior to this (just like MOST guys) he didn't want to talk about anything. I wouldn't take that to heart, most guys just don't like to discuss these things (remember women are from Venus and men from Mars). After the breakup he discovered that we NEEDED to discuss these things to make sure things would work and it wasn't going to happen again. I said a lot and he said a lot and things are great. I'm renting my home out and have pretty much moved in with him, we are working together on improvements on his home with the thought to sell it in a couple years and build a new home on a plot of land he owns. I am so happy right now and love him more than anything - but it took that time away to make me realize what I had.
As I said, this doesn't work for many, but it did work for me. Just something to consider.
 

littleraven7726

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Originally Posted by mybabyphx

And about the bills:

Rental Contract: everyone's name is on it. In there it states that we are each to pay 1\\3 of the rent, but also it said something about we are responsible for the payments as a whole. Meaning even if they don't pay- we're still responsible aka I'm still responsible for paying it.

Water bill: my name

Electricity bill: my name

Cell phone bill: my name- it's our only phone in the house
I've handled this before with a roomie who wouldn't pay her share, then I moved. The company can change whose name it's in. The roommate of mine kept saying she'd change it. I kept getting her bills when I no longer lived there.

I shut off said services. She was mad. But it was her own fault.
 
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mybabyphx

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Originally Posted by littleraven7726

I've handled this before with a roomie who wouldn't pay her share, then I moved. The company can change whose name it's in. The roommate of mine kept saying she'd change it. I kept getting her bills when I no longer lived there.

I shut off said services. She was mad. But it was her own fault.
Will the company's let me just call them up and switch names? Or how do you go abouts doing that?

I feel bad because they don't know ANYONE in AZ... they moved out here because of me. Now I'm leaving them stranded, you know?
 
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mybabyphx

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Originally Posted by trixie23

Call your landlord and lawyer as I stated on what you need to do to get off the lease, you probably wont be able to (just being honest, the two just got jobs this week) but there may be a way to legally cover your arse. Call for a free consultation.
We have a cool landlord, I know he'll let me get off...
I haven't talked to him yet though...
 
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