Kitties will meet MIL for the first time

rone · Aug 21, 2007

My mother-in-law travelled overseas every year to visit her son. She stays with us for 3-4 months. For this reason, we got our cats in May so they will get used to us. Our cats are not afraid of strangers but since she's going to be here for a few months, should I use Feliway or similar products to make it easier on the kitties?

Our cats are social but she doesn't like animals. Are there any signs I can watch out for in case she abuse them?

pami · Aug 21, 2007

Is there any reason why you would think she would abuse them? I wouldnt have anyone in my home, no matter who they are, if I thouht they could possibly abuse my animals.

goldenkitty45 · Aug 21, 2007

I don't think you should have a problem. Have your cats met other people? What is their reactions to friends or other family visiting?

And I agree, why would you think your MIL would abuse the animals? Has she done in the past? Does she KNOW you have cats?

katz4life · Aug 21, 2007

If your mother in law is social then hopefully your cat will be social with her too. But since she doesn't like animals, just make sure she treats your cats with the respect that you treat her with...

Our MIL's know how to treat our cats. If they didn't, we would just talk with them nicely. Those cats are your family just like she is, it'll all work out!

My mom (& Hubbys MIL) calls our cats her grandcats...its the cutest thing! She gets presents for them at Christmas time, its more fun then opening our own presents! More stuff for the cats, YAY!

rone · Aug 21, 2007

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Have your cats met other people? What is their reactions to friends or other family visiting?

And I agree, why would you think your MIL would abuse the animals? Has she done in the past? Does she KNOW you have cats?

Both will not hide & accept petting by strangers. We feel it's not fair to keep her in the dark so she does know we have cats. She's made promises each year but failed to keep them when we fulfilled ours. DH wasn't going to let her come this year but she said 'I promise I will be nice to the kitties'. I just don't trust her.

DH is the only kid and we have no say so as to whether she can be here or not. She considers everyone includes her son beneath her, therefore people needs to treat her with respect but she doesn't need to reciprocate. In 8 years of marriage she's never addressed me by name. I also have never heard she said 'sorry' 'please' or 'thanks' to anyone, neither did DH. I could go on and on but that's another topic.

katz4life · Aug 21, 2007

Originally Posted by Rone

She's made promises each year but failed to keep them when we fulfilled ours. DH wasn't going to let her come this year but she said 'I promise I will be nice to the kitties'. I just don't trust her.

DH is the only kid and we have no say so as to whether she can be here or not. She considers everyone includes her son beneath her, therefore people needs to treat her with respect but she doesn't need to reciprocate. In 8 years of marriage she's never addressed me by name. I also have never heard she said 'sorry' 'please' or 'thanks' to anyone, neither did DH. I could go on and on but that's another topic.

Whoa! Sorry to say but crazy MIL alert! We never understood why a person (especially family) would even want to act like that. Thats not very nice! You two are taking your time to welcome her into your house & she doesn't even treat you decently...no respect!

catsarebetter · Aug 21, 2007

Well, I've threatened to kick my own mother out of my house for not treating my cats the way I want them to be treated.... so perhaps I'm not the best person to be giving you advice. However... I will say that, in my book, you have every reason to make sure your cats are taken care of, and if she does something to them that you're unhappy about, tell her about it. If she continues, I personally don't see any problem with kicking her out, but then your DH might have issues with that.

I am, perhaps, a little more reactive when it comes to my animals than most. I would see no harm in hurting someone if they chose to do harm to my animals.

A few signs to look for are if they *always* shy away from her. She will most likely do things that she doesn't even consider abusive. You may want to keep a watch on it, because if she starts doign things that make them hand shy, it may affect the way they interact with you and DH and not only the way they interact with your MIL.

mybabyphx · Aug 21, 2007

Originally Posted by CatsAreBetter

Well, I've threatened to kick my own mother out of my house for not treating my cats the way I want them to be treated.... so perhaps I'm not the best person to be giving you advice. However... I will say that, in my book, you have every reason to make sure your cats are taken care of, and if she does something to them that you're unhappy about, tell her about it. If she continues, I personally don't see any problem with kicking her out, but then your DH might have issues with that.

I am, perhaps, a little more reactive when it comes to my animals than most. I would see no harm in hurting someone if they chose to do harm to my animals.

A few signs to look for are if they *always* shy away from her. She will most likely do things that she doesn't even consider abusive. You may want to keep a watch on it, because if she starts doign things that make them hand shy, it may affect the way they interact with you and DH and not only the way they interact with your MIL.

I'm glad you made the point:

"She will most likely do things that she doesn't even consider abusive"

Animal lovers view animals a different way then non-animal lovers do. For example: I would never, EVER throw my cat. I don't care if you tell me cats land on their feet... I don't care- don't throw my cat! A non-animal lover may not understand this...

So there is a possibility of her doing something to the cat that she just isn't aware of- seriously! I guess you can't get raging mad at her for those things, but you can talk to her...

Just when she gets there, keep an eye on how she treats the cat. And how the cat treats her...hehe!

I'm sure things will be fine. If not, you can always talk to your DH about it.

goldenkitty45 · Aug 21, 2007

Before she comes out I would have a very SERIOUS talk with your DH about the "rules" concerning his mother and the cats. You have to agree that if she shows any signs of being mean, abusive, etc. to the cats, she will have to find a hotel or somewhere else to stay and not at your house.

If you don't settle it with hubby right now, you may be in trouble if something happens!

rone · Aug 22, 2007

Thank you for the great advice! DH & I already had numerous conversation about this so we are crystal clear. He has no problem kicking her out but we both know how it'll go down- they'll have a huge fight about a month after her arrival & not speaking to one another for a few days. Then they'll talk as if nothing happened. How do I know? It's been like this for 3 years since my father-in-law passed.

Originally Posted by mybabyphx

I would see no harm in hurting someone if they chose to do harm to my animals.

Same here. Anyone who hurt animals have serious issues IMO. Hopefully it won't come to that, it will just make DH's life harder.

Kitties will meet MIL for the first time

rone

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