grieving in an elderly cat

We lost Roland, 15, my BEAUTIFUL, much-adored, tiny sable tonkinese, July 4. His mate, Walter, 2 years younger, a lovely sable Burmese x Siamese (+ white spot!), remains with us ... and is the subject of several health forum posts ...

Walter had been terrifically healthy all his life, but abruptly developed IBD after I reintroduced dry food (T/D) about 3 weeks ago. He already had begun eating poorly as Roland declined (I was force-feeding him, and Walter was not eating too well as this was different for him). Anyhow, he ended up not eating, developing dry heaves, and being in the vet for four days on IV and tons of tests ... nearly all of which were PERFECT.

We got him home Saturday, thin as a rail and raggedy-looking, 2 of his 9 pounds gone. I fed him hourly and he began to pick up. However, every time he walks into our bedroom, he emits this unearthly, mournful wailing. He has always had a fairly high-pitched voice, unlike his late mate who had a beyond-the-classic Siamese foghorn. So this wailing ... it sounds more like Roland and it freaks me out and makes me cry, every time. It is a very obvious seeking/missing you sound. My husband thinks I am nuts.

Cats do grieve. Sit down with Roland and explain what happened to his companion. This site was found by another member (Tarasgirl06) and gives some insight into cats grieving.

Cats definitely grieve themselves, and also they pick up on the stress/sadness of the house. Definitely explain to walter what happened, and give him extra love and attention till this time passes.

Oh, I talk to him ALL the time. I talked to him about Roland and why he is gone, and when he cries I tell him, "I know. I miss him, too." Before I lose it ...

I do think he understands. Interesting site link.

I DID bring in new cats after a month -- er, THREE of them! And actually despite the expert's advice, Walter took comfort from them. He otherwise was alone in the house for ten hours a day and when we got home his loneliness was quite evident. He does favor the kitten over the other two ... he seems to appreciate her cuddling up to him.

that sounds like a good start getting him some company. It may just take time. it sounds like you are still grieving as well. You both need to let your grieving happen and take as much time as you need.

Originally Posted by Renny

that sounds like a good start getting him some company. It may just take time. it sounds like you are still grieving as well. You both need to let your grieving happen and take as much time as you need.

Click to expand...

Exactly. And what is odd is I ADORE these new cats, and can simultaneously grieve ... people think it is weird but I did things in the order I wanted to ... so THERE.

Sounds right to me! I've often fallen into the "but people think i'm weird because" trap...especially when it comes to my kitties. But I realized that I was doing what was right for me...and since it wasn't hurting them....they could bugger off!

Give all your babies cuddles for me!!

I was mourning the death of my 16 year old tuxedo cat in April and now my 16 year old tabby is sick and dying. I am concerned because I want to adopt another male neutered tabby but I just hope I don't compare him to my tabby whenis the time right will I just know? The thought of not having my tabby cuddle and sit on my lap watch Tv and hear purrs and meows is so depressing. I realy don't even want to think of it. The tuxedo was purchase as a kitten and the tabby was given to me as a kitten, she found him in her alley. I need to have some feedback about adoption I always got pets as pups and kittens. Thanks

I was mourning the death of my 16 year old tuxedo cat in April and now my 16 year old tabby is sick and dying. I am concerned because I want to adopt another male neutered tabby but I just hope I don't compare him to my tabby whenis the time right will I just know? The thought of not having my tabby cuddle and sit on my lap watch Tv and hear purrs and meows is so depressing. I realy don't even want to think of it. The tuxedo was purchase as a kitten and the tabby was given to me as a kitten, she found him in her alley. I need to have some feedback about adoption I always got pets as pups and kittens. Thanks