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need some vibes....

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Tomorrow would have been my Dad's 61 first birthday...He passed away in 1999 when I was 12 He was 53 Years old...here is a pic of him about 2 months before he died watching one of my soccer games

You would think in 8 years it would be much easier...but its not...I still miss him more then words can say. I always wonder if he hadnt of had the surgery if he would still be here..so many what if's I cant describe how much I miss him or what its been like without him...

Here is a brief of what happened to him
On 11/8/1999 He went to Richmond VA to Medical College of Virginia to have a Gastric Bypass...The Dr had done many of them and assured us he was the best in the field in the area...So on 11/8/1999 at 7:30am my dad was taken into surgery...at 2:30 pm he came out of surgery and was placed in ICU things went well that day and the next. He sat up talked to us hugged and kissed us told us how much he loved us and how much we ment to him. On 11/10/1999 he started running a temp of 101 they said its normal after surgery for them to run a temp for a while and not to worry about it...his hemoglobin(pints of blood in your body) was 7 when it is supposed to be 9. My mom being an RN said something about this and again she was told that after a major operation such as the one he had that this was normal...things kept getting worse he had been release to a regular floor in the hospital and on 11/12/99 they moved him back to ICU. He stopped breathing on the Elevator and they didnt trach(a tube that enables you to breathe until you can be placed on artificial respiration) him...after that he was pronounced brain dead...My mom had them do EEG(a reading of the brain waves) after EEG to make sure...During this time(before he was brain dead) he also set up staf infection to do a nurse doing an improper sterile dressing...she wiped the drainage off the floor from the incision and placed the same guaze pad back on the incision setting off the staff infection...My mom took us home on 11/13/1999 to get us back in school on monday and to get us some more clothes and we were going to go back on tuesday morning to see how things were after the new EEG...we got a call on Monday evening about 4:3o pm saying that we needed to get back immediately(we are about 5-6hrs from Richmond) We got there at 12:01 midnight and he had passed away at 11:57

To this day I still wonder what would have happened had he of not had the surgery...He was told that without it he had 6 months to live...he had several other complications...and he asked my brother my mom and I "Should I do it?" We said yes because with the surgery he was expected to have another 20 years...I still blame myself for saying yea do it...

Anyways sorry this was so long I just needed to vent...but please send me and my family vibes for tomorrow as it is always a rough day for all of us!
post #2 of 5
i dont think it ever gets anymore easy, in terms of how we feel.
My mother died on my birthday day, a few years ago. Now i hate that day.
hope everything goes well for you
post #3 of 5
I am so sorry sweetie!! My dad passed away in '04! His bday is coming up at end of month. I feel your pain!!!
post #4 of 5
My thoughts and prayers are with you. My best friend in my early high school years lost her Dad at age 12. I met her about 2 years later. I know that every year after that she's had a hard time around the date of his death. I don't know if things like that ever truly go away, but think of it as a reminder of your love for him. That seemed to help my friend.
post #5 of 5
That's sad to hear. I agree with moochnnoodles that those things never truley go away but it's good to remember your dad and the way he was and the good times. I hope you made it through the day OK.

P.S. I can't belive a nurse would be so careless and do something so stupid. Hopefully she isn't a nurse anymore.
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