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i need to rant

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Well my DH mum is epileptic has been for many years now, she has to take so many tablets.
anyway, the doctors have asked her to go for blood tests at the hospital and x rays and other things which i cant remember. but she refuses to go as she dosnt like hospitals. she is now getting bad chest pains but still will not do anything about it unless its done at her doctors (they dont have the stuff there to do this, it has to be done in a hospital).
but she has been getting out of breath lately and it just seems one thing after another. i think she is being stupid for not going (shes not the easiest to tell this but i have in so many words)
and i think she is being selfish she has 6 grandchildren who love her and 2 worried sons plus myself and her husband. i have offered to go with her to the hospital but she wont. what else can i say to her to get her to go, im worried that by the time she does go it will be to late to do anything, my DH dad WILL not cope without her and the family will end up falling apart aside from all this she is an amazing woman and the best mother in law i could ask for, but this is really getting to me.
ok rant over lol
post #2 of 11
Geesh, that is such a hard situation.

You need to have an intervention or something..have everyone come over and tell her how much you all love her and are all worried about her.

Its sad when people don't realize its not always about them..they need to think about their loved ones
post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
to be truthfull i think that is the problem she IS thinking of her loved ones but doing it in the wrong mannar. she watched her mum die of cancer she has been to hospitals with her dad throught the last few years (his still alive) family members run around after him thinking he needs to be looked after (he hates this) i think she dosnt want any of this , or her loved ones to worry about what ever results may come back if that makes sence? but in doing so she could be putting her life at risk that could be easily sorted if treated soon.
post #4 of 11
Did you tell her what you think? About how she has all of her grandchildren and children that need her? IMO Not going to the hospital would be a lot worse. Sorry for your situation and I hope she will go to the hospital. My Mom has epilepsy too and she didn't ever want to go at first either, but we convinced her and told her we wouldn't tell anyone else unless it was really bad (she was embarrassed to have people know) Hope this helps some, sorry I don't have more advice.

post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 
everyone knows about the epilepsy and she did go to hospital many years ago (before i came into the family) they did a ct? scan on her brain , and saw a shadow , they dont know if it was a tumar? or something else, the only way to tell would be to put her under , but they said it was risky incase she had a fit on the table.
so she decided not to know what it is.
as iv said his mum isnt the easiest person to tell her she is in the wrong belive me. but i have tried to be supportive and negitive with her about this, she is a very stubborn woman.
i might try and get some of the family together and see if all of us will sit her down and tell her our fears and worrys and hope this will help, it just makes me so angry and very worried.
post #6 of 11
Kidnap her. Make the appointment behind her back and then tell her you're taking her to get ice cream or to Disney World

Seriously though I think she will go if she has the support of the entire family. By this I mean if her dad, sons and daughters will go with her.

If its because there are strange doctors involved, well see if one of her regular doctors can attend (I know they can but still..).
post #7 of 11
That is a tough situation, but it sounds like she really needs to go to the Dr. How old are all of the grandkids? Can they go and try to guilt her into going to the Dr?
post #8 of 11
I just want to say that I'm really sorry about the situation.
I hope you can come up with a solution to get her to go to the hospital for her tests!!!
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
her oldest grandchild is only 12 and dosnt know about any of this nither do any of them, the last thing i want is the kids to worry about anything.
i have just been told by my DH that i am not allowed to say anything about the chest pain???? his dad told him this evening about it but not to let his mum know that he told him. his mum and dad have always had a great relationship but the last few weeks things have seemed tense between both of them, over silly things , so it is making it harder to say anything at the moment.
now this is a cupple who have NEVER argued or had words and im not pulling ya leg , so this is really weird to see , a lot of it is his mum so it deffently seems like she is worried about it , or either that she is feeling so down and not herself its taking its toll on her.
post #10 of 11
Thread Starter 
thought i would update, she has finally told me about the pains herself, only because i saw her holding her left arm etc so i asked if she was ok, she has had the papers to get an xray etc done for the last few months!!!!!!!! i told her she was being silly and that it was probley nothing but its best to get these things checked, but no one will back me up with this, all i get from my DH dad is shes stubben and his been trying to get her to go for ages, her sister has been on at her, and my DH well his no use he thinks shes stupid but wont say nothing (his a mammas boy) so its only me going on at her now and she is just brushing me aside.
shes impossible and its really starting to get to me now. but what else can i do?
post #11 of 11
It's not just a matter of her being stubborn or impossible. She's scared.

Coming from someone who's put medical stuff off for a few years now, there's some things you're afraid to find out. It can be hard to make that step.
You're going to have to get the family involved or try again just to be as honest as possible with her. And please, make sure she knows that she's not alone, that all her family will be there to help her through anything.
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