Men...true or not true....article from Men's Health

tnr1

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Ok, so I found this interesting given some of the discussions from this board recently...would love to know if the men on this board agree with the author:

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.

When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let's delve a little deeper. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."

A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him

Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.

A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time

Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!

A Woman with a Strut

Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.

A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties

Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menl...n-fall-in-love
 

megagene

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As a man, I tend to agree with most of that. I really don't care if a woman has good taste in ties though. :p
More than anything else I am attracted to someone with a good heart who exudes kindness and warmth. A good sense of humor is important too. If you have these qualities I will SO ask you out to dinner.
 

katiemae1277

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My friend used to subscribe to Men's health and he let me read every copy, then i got a subscription "for my ex" but i was the one who read it! I love that magazine, gives great insight into the minds of men- didn't help to much with my ex though
 

tigerontheprowl

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I agree with some of that but for me it all comes down to 3 things that I'm looking for. Basically I just want someone who is generally a nice person, someone who likes me for who I am, and someone who can get along with my cats. If she satisfies all of those then there could be something there.
 

diego

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Originally Posted by TNR1

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
Falling hard is so true. But love to be in love, well I'm disagreeing with that statement. I was in love once and never want to be again.


Originally Posted by TNR1

A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him.

Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.
Yes find a hobby or something, give me space


Originally Posted by TNR1

A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time

Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!
Space OMG what does that mean?
I wish,my wife would give me some space.


Originally Posted by TNR1

A Woman with a Strut

Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.
Yes, I love a challenge. The 180 degree thing, d*mn straight, she'll strut right out the door.

Originally Posted by TNR1

A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties

guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.
I have occasionally let my wife pick my clothes but I feel her taste is not very good
.
I prefer to get other women to pick my clothes, if I need help that is, coz I like to have the women still eying me up, even though I'm married.


Thats just my thoughts, individual results may vary.
 

swampwitch

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That was very interesting, and I believe it to be very true.

I'm always surprised at the number of women who work to "change" their men - whether it's how they dress, their friends, what they like to do in their spare time, or whatever.

I always think, "Sheesh, give the guy a break!" If he's not right, keep looking but stop trying to mold him into the "perfect guy."

Just my two cents.
Oops, I just saw this was for men, sorry about that.
 

sarahp

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I'd have to agree with most of the article (from a woman's perspective). DH had been dating someone for nearly 2 years, and they split up, and then we met. Neither of us were looking for anything too serious because we'd both just been through a lot, but we became good friends, then best friends, I could look after myself (which his ex couldn't do), and had my own interests so he could do his own thing (which his ex wouldn't ever let him do, she was completely dependent on him), I don't know if I have a strut, but I'm certainly confident enough in myself (once again, his ex was very insecure), and ties... I hate them but then so does he, so who cares
And before we knew it we realised that we'd found the person we wanted to marry!
 

heavenangels

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Originally Posted by sarahp

I'd have to agree with most of the article (from a woman's perspective). DH had been dating someone for nearly 2 years, and they split up, and then we met. Neither of us were looking for anything too serious because we'd both just been through a lot, but we became good friends, then best friends, I could look after myself (which his ex couldn't do), and had my own interests so he could do his own thing (which his ex wouldn't ever let him do, she was completely dependent on him), I don't know if I have a strut, but I'm certainly confident enough in myself (once again, his ex was very insecure), and ties... I hate them but then so does he, so who cares
And before we knew it we realised that we'd found the person we wanted to marry!
AMEN to that as a woman myself I have to agree with what Sarah said ...Funny sounds like she is describing me and hubby....Ok was you peeking....
Just kidding I believe we should have our own interests as well as views we don't check up on each other he does his things and I do mine. The one thing we do is have date night this seems to work for us. I'm a person who valves honesty this is the only thing I ask of DH. Oh yea forgot he must also dress GQ
 

catgirl2548m

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Originally Posted by DIEGO

I was in love once and never want to be again.
im confused, diego. what about mrs. diego? i hope its not a loveless marriage. my bf's parents were like that.

he (the dad) was the nicest guy. totally funny. he would tell the funniest stories. he wrote hystirical song paradies and would sing them even tho he coudnt sing, lol. he was really handsme and like genius smart. even went to harvard business school. but his wife wouldnt ever have sex with him anymore and u could tell it made him sad. i guess i shouldnt call it loveless b/c they did seem to love each other. but to not be willing to have sex with ur DH? omg! i hope im never like that if i get married.

 

karl

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Let's just cut straight to the chase here, shall we?

What men want, prefer, or desire in a relationship is irrelevant. Men exist for one reason: to serve women. They accomplish this as follows.

-- Take the blame. The man must be the woman's personal scapegoat for anything that goes wrong. And his possible non-involvement in the situation is no excuse. If he were on top of things, he would have gotten involved and prevented the problem from occuring in the first place. Never mind that he was across town at the time.

-- Be the steppinfetchit boy. He must run around finding whatever object the woman has misplaced. If the object is not where she says it is, he should under no circumstances bother her, and should proceed to search every possible other place it might be hiding. Just keep looking, okay?

-- Put gas in the woman's car. She is very busy and gets tired and the smell of gasoline fumes makes her feel icky. The ability to fill up her car is a skill that a woman eventually loses not long after she gets a man.

-- Perform lawn care.

-- Manage the vehicle maintenance.

-- Pick up after the woman. It takes a lot of energy for her to spill stuff on the kitchen counter, drop the hair from her brush onto the bathroom floor, and strew stacks of paper hither and yon. By the end of the day, these activities have left her worn out. Be good, and just clean up.


Any other useful functions that a man may be able to perform can be accomodated through... other means. Hope this helps. Regards.
 

muttigreemom

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Originally Posted by Karl

Let's just cut straight to the chase here, shall we?

What men want, prefer, or desire in a relationship is irrelevant. Men exist for one reason: to serve women. They accomplish this as follows.

-- Take the blame. The man must be the woman's personal scapegoat for anything that goes wrong. And his possible non-involvement in the situation is no excuse. If he were on top of things, he would have gotten involved and prevented the problem from occuring in the first place. Never mind that he was across town at the time.

-- Be the steppinfetchit boy. He must run around finding whatever object the woman has misplaced. If the object is not where she says it is, he should under no circumstances bother her, and should proceed to search every possible other place it might be hiding. Just keep looking, okay?

-- Put gas in the woman's car. She is very busy and gets tired and the smell of gasoline fumes makes her feel icky. The ability to fill up her car is a skill that a woman eventually loses not long after she gets a man.

-- Perform lawn care.

-- Manage the vehicle maintenance.

-- Pick up after the woman. It takes a lot of energy for her to spill stuff on the kitchen counter, drop the hair from her brush onto the bathroom floor, and strew stacks of paper hither and yon. By the end of the day, these activities have left her worn out. Be good, and just clean up.


Any other useful functions that a man may be able to perform can be accomodated through... other means. Hope this helps. Regards.
If this is true... then I'm the man in my relationship
 

diego

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Originally Posted by catgirl2548m

im confused, diego. what about mrs. diego? i hope its not a loveless marriage. my bf's parents were like that.


3 words, "marriage of convenience".

Now I know you all will be saying to yourselves "oh so thats why he's having so many problems"
She knows why we got married and she won't let me divorce her, so.....
I've asked on several occasions over the past 2 weeks, the last time being last night (Wednesday)

There's nothing in this world thats worth staying married to her.

Sorry Hi-jacked your thread again.
 

katiemae1277

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Originally Posted by MuttigreeMom

If this is true... then I'm the man in my relationship
I was too, hence the reason I am no longer IN that relationship!
 

muttigreemom

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Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I was too, hence the reason I am no longer IN that relationship!
So it's not just me!
I'm still in mine... but I did tell him if I found his stuff strewn across the house one more time I was using it all as Buddha's new chew toys!


Wait no... lawn care... I admit he does do the mowing... but only one side of the house at a time... so most days I have really long lawn on 3 sides of the house, and one strip perfectly manicured
 

katiemae1277

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Originally Posted by MuttigreeMom

So it's not just me!
I'm still in mine... but I did tell him if I found his stuff strewn across the house one more time I was using it all as Buddha's new chew toys!


Wait no... lawn care... I admit he does do the mowing... but only one side of the house at a time... so most days I have really long lawn on 3 sides of the house, and one strip perfectly manicured
I once asked my ex to put on my new wiper blades and he said "Why don't you just do it?" I replied "If you won't even put my wiper blades on, what do I need you for?"
I was also the lawn mower and garbage taker-outer, and main breadwinner and cooker and cleaner and shopper and billpayer, I think he was the official playstation player


I wish I could find a guy to do stuff for me
I repay him a thousand times over
 

luvmy2cats

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Originally Posted by Karl

Let's just cut straight to the chase here, shall we?

What men want, prefer, or desire in a relationship is irrelevant. Men exist for one reason: to serve women. They accomplish this as follows.

-- Take the blame. The man must be the woman's personal scapegoat for anything that goes wrong. And his possible non-involvement in the situation is no excuse. If he were on top of things, he would have gotten involved and prevented the problem from occuring in the first place. Never mind that he was across town at the time.

-- Be the steppinfetchit boy. He must run around finding whatever object the woman has misplaced. If the object is not where she says it is, he should under no circumstances bother her, and should proceed to search every possible other place it might be hiding. Just keep looking, okay?

-- Put gas in the woman's car. She is very busy and gets tired and the smell of gasoline fumes makes her feel icky. The ability to fill up her car is a skill that a woman eventually loses not long after she gets a man.

-- Perform lawn care.

-- Manage the vehicle maintenance.

-- Pick up after the woman. It takes a lot of energy for her to spill stuff on the kitchen counter, drop the hair from her brush onto the bathroom floor, and strew stacks of paper hither and yon. By the end of the day, these activities have left her worn out. Be good, and just clean up.


Any other useful functions that a man may be able to perform can be accomodated through... other means. Hope this helps. Regards.
Wow, who trained you? I don't expect my DH to do any of those.
 

catgirl2548m

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Originally Posted by luvmycat1

Wow, who trained you? I don't expect my DH to do any of those.
yeah, karls prolly married, but if hes not i might propose, lol! i like men with quirky senses of humor and if hes that well trianed.....

one key test -- karl, would u let me take a picture of you wearing my bathrobe wtih dark sox and a goofy face? if ur silly enuf to do that, im coming to qubec, lol!
 
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tnr1

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Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I once asked my ex to put on my new wiper blades and he said "Why don't you just do it?" I replied "If you won't even put my wiper blades on, what do I need you for?"
I was also the lawn mower and garbage taker-outer, and main breadwinner and cooker and cleaner and shopper and billpayer, I think he was the official playstation player


I wish I could find a guy to do stuff for me
I repay him a thousand times over
Katie...you are a better person than me. I absolutely loath any and all gardening, lawncare...hence the reason I bought a condo. I can cook...but I tend not to. And forget car stuff....changing wiper blades, oil....that I leave to the professionals at the local shell station. I do clean..but my mom still finds cat fur dustbunnies when she visits. I can't help that Tiger shed when I'm not home.


Katie
 

mybabyphx

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I have another question for female/male to answer...either one.

In my house, there are 3 people... my boyfriend (of almost 4 years), our male roommate,and me. Oh wait, I forgot PHX!


I am the only one with a good, stable job. I am currently paying all the bills. I am the only one with a car. I do the landscaping, dishes, and picking up of the house. They both take turns doing the laundry and cooking.

We've switched roles someplace along the line there...

In MY mind I think THEY- the males- should be supporting ME- the female. But it's the other way around?!?

What do you guys/gals think about this? What's going on?
 
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