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Female cat not affectionate?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
We adopted Fred & Ginger from shelter 3 months ago. Fred is very attached to me- his eyes always follow me while I'm in the room; when I left the room & come back many times he runs to me even if DH is petting him; meows when want to be picked up/get my attention/feeding...etc. His sister Ginger on the other hand, is not a lap cat at all; never wants to be groomed/picked up & prefer to sit on the top of 2 cardboard boxes we piled up for them. If she's not there, then she can be found next to the window looking out/down (we're on the 18th fl). Unlike her brother who 'talks' all the time, she only meows and licks my leg 2-3 times while I'm preparing food for them. If either one of us try to pick her up and put her next to us, she just runs off. The only times she doesn't run off is when I pick her up in the evenings to brush her teeth. But after that's done and she gets treats, she goes back to her favorite spot, 99% of the time is on top of the 2 boxes. Fred is not much of a lap cat either, but he'll come & plot right next to me, head rests on my leg.

We have no intention of 'training' her to become a lap cat or anything, just wondering if she's not happy or more of a loner???
post #2 of 16
It's a possibility she's just a loner like that. Some cats just aren't as affectionate, just like some people I guess.
post #3 of 16
Seems females have this kind of "attitude" - some love to cuddle, but the majority of them are pretty independent compared to the males

Why you think female humans are labeled as "cat-like" ?
post #4 of 16
I have two males and one female. Lucy wants affection on her own terms. If I try to pet or pick her up, she'll pull away and take off or even take a swipe at me. When she wants to be on my lap, she'll jump up and drool. The two males will accept loving anytime. Go figure!
post #5 of 16
I don't think it has anything to do with the sex of the cat. My female cat is the most affectionate cuddly cat. While my male is friendly but skittish. He hates being picked up and will run off if you even look like you're going to pick him up. So I think she's just more of a loner. Which is a good thing...Fred likes your attention and Ginger likes his. So no hard feelings there.
post #6 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Seems females have this kind of "attitude" - some love to cuddle, but the majority of them are pretty independent compared to the males

Why you think female humans are labeled as "cat-like" ?
I knew stereotypes would crop up as soon as I saw the title, it is just human nature I suppose. My female kitty is super affectionate, all the time. It is not a female thing; it is an individual cat thing. I also agree with MoochNNoodles & merlynn's mom, affection doesn't have anything to do with only the sex of the animal.
post #7 of 16
i think she is just a different personality. some cats love the company of humans and others prefer chilling out in the corner. nothing is wrong with either of your cats.

Fred does sound really fun to play with though...
post #8 of 16
She seems happy to me. She has her favorite spots and she's contented there, she likes her food... Just seems like an introverted cat. Not all cats like petting, just like not all humans like to be hugged and kissed.
post #9 of 16
I know not ALL females act that way; same for males. But when you've lived with cats your entire life and the majority of females are more independent and not as cuddly compared to males; well the law of averages tends to show up.

Neutered males are more outgoing and friendly in any breed (pedigree or mixed) and females tend to be more reserved and "on their own terms"
post #10 of 16
I had the same thing with my brother and sister cats. The brother was my little boy and followed me and loved to get on my lap and talked with me. His sister stays pretty much to herself except she would play with her bother. Rarely she would come and ask for pets. Since her brother passed, she has been wanting a little more attention and is out a little more.
You never can tell with them though. I have two other cats that a very affectionate. One is male the other is female. So it really depends on the cat. I would not think that your cat was unhappy. She seems to be like our girl, Snickers, and just is not a cuddly girl
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Neutered males are more outgoing and friendly in any breed (pedigree or mixed) and females tend to be more reserved and "on their own terms"
That doesn't apply in my breed. The breed of cat I have the most exposure with are Sphynx. They are pretty much ALL - regardless of gender - regardless of spay/n status are outgoing and affectionate.
post #12 of 16
Well even my cornish rexes fell in the "typical" male/female catagories and rexes, like sphynx are very similar
post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Well even my cornish rexes fell in the "typical" male/female catagories and rexes, like sphynx are very similar
My Sphynx don't fall into your stereotypes/generalizations. So it isn't "typical" to me...
Only making a point of this so people don't think, oh my cat is not affectionate since she is female, that must be it!, or my cat is a female and affectionate - must not be typical - or my cat isn't affectionate enough, what is wrong with him, he is a male. Or think I want an affectionate cat; therefore I should probably not consider adopting a female. It isn't that easy or standard and will lead to disappointment.
I agree with the other two posters that it has more to do with individuals than the sex of the cat. Both sexes have great ability to make wonderful affectionate pets equally.
post #14 of 16
Hmm, my Spock (our only adult female) isn't much of a cuddler either...when we let her in, she usually lays in front of the kitchen stove! Pete is skittish too, but he's getting better about letting me hold him. Patrick has his moody days...but then, what cat doesn't? Buddy is our sweet boy...he loves to jump up in the closest lap and go to sleep! Andy is sweet towards me because he always starts purring when he sees me.
post #15 of 16
I agree that it depends on the cat, not on the sex of the cat.
I'm 36 years old and have had one or more female cats in my life since the day my parents brought me home from the hospital.

They've all been affectionate...some moreso than others.
Annabelle for example well let you hold and cuddle her, but not very often...she's a tortie and full of "tortitude" so that may be the reason for her behavior.

Gracie is just the sweetest little thing there is, she wants to cuddle and be held all the time.

Elliott the first male cat I've ever had...we brought him indoors in November...loves to cuddle with all the humans in the house, but he'd rather chase his "sisters" around and annoy the heck out of them, rather then cuddle with them.

One of my friends has a male cat that hates everyone...even her
Another friend has a female cat that hates everyone but him.

So that why I think it depends more on the cat than on the sex of the cat.
post #16 of 16
From all the cats I've had in my family, indeed it seems that male cats are more prone to be cuddly and outgoing. Only one out of 5 females I've been around is actually a lap cat. Others are loners to a various degree.

On the other hand, from 4 males, all 4 acted similar, ready to cuddle at any time, sleep in bed all night etc.
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