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Am I being too picky?

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Hey guys, could use some opinions about a potential home for my little foster girl Molly. Had an inquiry about her from a woman who currently has a young maine coon (male) along with a DSH female, whom her family rescued two years ago. She she said the female has been pooping outside the litterbox for the whole time they've had her, so now they're rehoming her and would like to adopt Molly as a companion for the male cat. She said they've tried adding other litter boxes, different litter, feliway, cat attact and had the cat to vet several times to rule out any medical issues. The female cat uses the litterbox fine for urinating. The woman said she really feels they've done all they can to work with the cat and she is now going to live with a friend on a farm. This family has also had other cats in the past that have lived well into their teens.

Where we left it is that she's going to complete an adoption application and we'll go from there. Honestly, I'm torn about this situation. Because I feel so strongly that a cat (or any pet) is a lifetime committment no matter what, it kind of bothers me that they're rehoming the other cat and now want Molly as a replacement. At the same time, I have to give them credit for not dumping their current female cat at a shelter and for all the work they've put into correcting her behavior problem. I'd never give up one of mine for any reason, but I've also never had to deal with the frustation of litter box issues, so who am I to judge?

So what do you guys think? Should I consider these folks for adoption or not?
Obviously, I'm going to wait to receive the application and follow up with the woman's vet. I feel like I'm being too picky or judgemental by thinking of ruling them out. At the same time, I want to be as sure as possible that Molly is going to a loving, committed home. It sounds like these folks have a good track record with their other cats.

Like said, I'm really torn about this. Any thoughts? Thanks!
post #2 of 18
I think at this point it doesn't hurt you to keep all of your options open. Just because she turns in her application, doesn't mean you have to tell her yes or no immedietly. You can still see who else is interested!
post #3 of 18
I had a cat that consistently pooped outside the litter box and despite trying many things, she still did it. I didn't give up on her. I would also have doubts.
post #4 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabyphx View Post
I think at this point it doesn't hurt you to keep all of your options open. Just because she turns in her application, doesn't mean you have to tell her yes or no immedietly. You can still see who else is interested!
That's true. It would be different if Molly was being adopted out by a rescue, but since it's up to me, I can definitely take my time and weigh all the options to find the best possible home for her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom View Post
I had a cat that consistently pooped outside the litter box and despite trying many things, she still did it. I didn't give up on her. I would also have doubts.
Thanks. I needed to hear that. I wouldn't give up on mine either. It sort of seems like this woman is looking to Molly as a "replacement" kitty and that bothers me.
post #5 of 18
I always go with my gut instinct. It seems to me that your gut instinct is not to adopt to this lady. (I guess I may be wrong) If you would have been fine with adopting to her, you would have done it and wouldn't of had to ask us for our opinion. That means your second guessing yourself. (Which is definetly not a bad thing)

So I would recommend holding off on this lady, the perfect family will come along!

Good Luck!
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabyphx View Post
I always go with my gut instinct. It seems to me that your gut instinct is not to adopt to this lady. (I guess I may be wrong) If you would have been fine with adopting to her, you would have done it and wouldn't of had to ask us for our opinion. That means your second guessing yourself. (Which is definetly not a bad thing)

So I would recommend holding off on this lady, the perfect family will come along!

Good Luck!
You're right. My gut instinct is telling me not to adopt to her. I guess I just don't want to become so picky that it seems like I'm passing judgement on people and passing up what has the potential to be a great home. I've that happen with too many other folks (and even some rescue groups). It's like no home is good enough for the cat/kitten in question. I know one woman who refused to adopt a kitten to one of my co-workers because she didn't feel this person had enough "cat experience." It's true my co-worker had never had a cat, but she was willing to learn. Weren't we all first time cat owners at some point. Anyway, this co-worker eventually adopted two kittens from a local rescue that was willing to give her a chance and the cats are now treasured members of the family.
post #7 of 18
If in doubt always err on the side of the cat, who needs your support more so. I would follow my gut too It is not called picky, it is called trying to do the best placement possible and best match up for each animal.
post #8 of 18
my apartment smells 0f cat pee, because 0f the crystal pr0blem teufel has. It d0es drive me nuts that i am c0nstantly m0pping and d0ing the washing. I will never ever give up 0n them because 0f their t0ilet habbits!
post #9 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilcon View Post
Hey guys, could use some opinions about a potential home for my little foster girl Molly. Had an inquiry about her from a woman who currently has a young maine coon (male) along with a DSH female, whom her family rescued two years ago. She she said the female has been pooping outside the litterbox for the whole time they've had her, so now they're rehoming her and would like to adopt Molly as a companion for the male cat. She said they've tried adding other litter boxes, different litter, feliway, cat attact and had the cat to vet several times to rule out any medical issues. The female cat uses the litterbox fine for urinating. The woman said she really feels they've done all they can to work with the cat and she is now going to live with a friend on a farm. This family has also had other cats in the past that have lived well into their teens.
When I worked at the shelter, an application like this raised a lot of red flags. If you are going to continue I would be asking a lot more questions. But my gut instinct says "what if Molly was having problems?"

I also have to wonder if the other cat is blocking this cat's access to the litter box or intimidating her in some way.

Anyway, I don't think you are being picky. Your first responsibility is to make sure Molly is placed in a safe and good home. In today's consumer society a lot of people think that if they fill out an application they automatically get the kitty.
post #10 of 18
IMO if you get rid of one cat because of litter box problems, why would you want to go and adopt a "replacement"? That doesn't make sense to me. Yes she has tried, but decided nothing works, so let's just get rid of the cat and find another with no problems.

And what happens if Molly doesn't work out? I don't like the "replacement" attitude. I had a cat that did the same thing - Taz peed in the litter pan, but if it was on carpet, she would go on the carpet. I figured out that if the pan was on tile or non-carpet/rug, she would use the litter box for both. I did not just decide "oh she's always done this, can't fix it and I'll get rid of her cause I don't like poop on carpet". She stayed with me since she was born (she was a rex kitten I kept) until I moved to MN. She would never had survived the trip here and a good friend of mine was willing to adopt her till she dies and knows about the litter pan issue. She has lots of older cats , Taz fits right in with them.

If she was able to travel, Taz would have come with me.

I think I'd not adopt to this person.
post #11 of 18
Some things have to be deal breakers, and I think their attitude toward their kitty and her problem is a big one. Heck, what if the real problem is not the kitty they are getting rid of, but the one they are keeping? How many "replacements" would they need to go through before they recognized that? You don't want Molly to be one of them.

This cat will not be hard to place and your first responsibility is to her.
post #12 of 18
I would go with my gut instinct.

However, you say that this cat is the only one she has ever rehomed, and that she has tried many things to break the kitty of the pooping habit. It is possible that she would be a good meowmy to your baby.

You could try letting her foster the kitty for a little while before adopting her to see how things go and if things work out.

Your other alternative is to let her adopt your baby, make sure you get her address and phone number and do follow ups with her to find out how things are going. Also let her know that if for whatever reason at all that she feels she cannot keep the kitty, regardless of the amount of time that has passed, that you will take the kitty back, and have her sign something to that effect.

We all make mistakes and it's awful for one mistake to hang over our heads for the rest of our lives.
post #13 of 18
I agree. If you have any second thoughts or your gut instinct is telling you otherwise, listen to yourself. Just because she has tried everything and the problem still exsists does not give her the right to just drop the problem on someone else's shoulders. She picked that cat and she has to be responsible for that life. Do we give our children away when they have "problems" that do not go away and find a replacement for them? I'm just afraid that she may do the same thing to Molly and that is not going to be the best home for her.
I would accept the application, however, that does not mean you have to inform her of your decision. This allows you to keep the options open by trying to acquire as many applications as possible and to find the best home available for Molly.
post #14 of 18
Yup, you are not being too picky.

IF she's telling the truth that she has tried all those things, and IF the vet says there is no medical reason for the cat to be pooping outside of the litterbox, then I would wonder if the cat is somehow being mistreated. (I'm not implying that that is always the case, of course, but there are some big IFs there.)

Don't give Molly to anyone that you have the slightest doubts about. The best you can do is give her to someone you are completely sure about, and then cross your fingers.

Good luck!
post #15 of 18
Is there anything else setting off the red flag warning or just the fact that she's rehoming her kitty?

It sounds like she's tried everything and it hasn't worked, and I think once you've done that you do then have to weigh up if it's something about you/your house/your other cats that's stopping her from pooing in the litter tray (especially if she's weeing in there fine).

I would speak to her vet and check out what they say - if the vet says "yes we tried everything and the cat continues to go outside the litter box and I thought maybe she needs a new environment", then give her a chance. If the vet says "she came in once annoyed about it, and has decided it's easier to dump the cat" then obviously do not adopt to her!

If you speak to the vet and are still unsure, then go with your gut instinct. If she really wants a kitty, she'll get one elsewhere.
post #16 of 18
I'm thinking "What happens if Molly does something 'incovenient' for them?" Obviously, they'll re-home her! And to who? Kinda worries me. I'd go with "no"....well....did they actually say they want Molly to 'replace' the kitty they're rehoming? Are they upset?

I'm just really worried that on the off chance Molly has out of the box experiences.....what happens to her? If she comes back to you then you've got an adult kitty to re-home....
post #17 of 18
I would go with my gut on this for two reasons:
1) they are rehoming one and getting a "replacement"...I know that there are times this is the only thing that can be done, but just running out and getting another???
2) I would worry about the cat dynamic in that home. She was doing her business outside of the box and it was a behavioral problem. That tells me that kitty was unhappy and maybe the existing cat doesn't want to have a "companion" and made the last kitty miserable.

Did she mention at all that they had considered maybe having only one cat for a while?
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your feedback guys. I'm definitely doing with my gut on this for Molly's sake. No matter what this woman's previous history is with cats the fact that she's giving one up for what appears to be a behavioral issue and sees Molly as a "replacement," doesn't sit well with me at all. It's my responsibility to find Molly a loving, committed home. What if some "issue" develops with her down the road? Will this woman give her up and "replace" her with another cat? I'm not taking that chance.
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