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need advice, another frustrating breeder.

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
So I need some kind of help with my roommate, and this is like the only place off the top of my head that might be able to give me some advice. Sorry this is really long.

Some of you already know me, and you know I have 3 cats of my own, and my roommate downstairs is a small breeder. She only has 6 cats which is small in my head, because I have seen her home when she had 30 and it was really really bad, and she said she didn’t want to do that again because she couldn’t handle it and I trusted her that she could handle 6 cats +kittens. But with that in my head, I didn’t really want her to move in. But she is a friend and she didn’t have a place, and she did manage to surrender many of her cats. And I let her move in with me, with the belief that she was going to stop breeding and fix her cats. Because I don’t want a breeder in my house, I have had nothing but bad experiences with bad breeders, to me its like if you say you breed, I automatically think you probably made a mess of it. But I had hoped that she could turn this around... I believed that she was strong, and could make the right choices. Maybe that should could show me that not all breeders are bad. And if she wanted to breed after she lived here, she is to find foster homes for the cats so they don’t breed while she is in my house. I still didn’t’ want her moving in breeding. You don’t breed while renting someone’s basement. This was the agreement. Because I have seen some really bad breeders in this city with 100 cats, and I have seen how she was, and I have seen the mess it makes, the smell, and how stressed it makes the poor kitties. I have seen them pull out their hair, and die of disease’s.. and worse I have bought pure bread cats in the past only to have them die on me at the age of 5... I knew in my heart it wasn’t right. but in this city, its hard enough to find a place to rent that even allows you to have even ONE cat... these are things I have just learnt from. and I don't want in my house. Now if I were to buy purebread again, I not only would spend 500 bucks for them but also another 500 to check for everything to make sure they are healthy... and more to fix them so they don't breed. for myself, everything I have learnt, I know what is needed for the cat.. not for youself.

One of her kitties (5 week old baby) was VERY sick, very dehydrated, and very underweight compared to the rest. and I thought it would die with out emergency attention so I took her to the hospital, and saved her. She had to spend the night with an IV, was fed regularly. And the vet ran a test on her as well for free to screen for FIV and other things. And she was negative, the vet has this very big boy cat that lives there who loves kittens, so when they knew she was healthy, they put her in with him and he cleaned her (soked her) and she even got a bit of love form a cat, and I think it really helped... so the vet told me that she was being neglected and needed to be hand fed regularly. Mom is not producing the milk, and is too stressed out to care for her kittens the right way. The other 4 are fine, they eat on their own, and when I put down food they eat like mad. But this one is not eating.

Now in all my life, I myself LOVE cats, and I think she is using this against me, manipulating me. I have bread kitties, but never more then one at a time. When she came here she had 3 moms the first one gave birth in her old place and it was too cold so 3 of them died, but the first 2 were ok, the second one went in to labour to early, had premature babies, and all of them died. One survived because the 3rd mom took it away from that mom and cared for it. But she died when she reached the age she would have been born. (3 weeks) and that mom had her babies, I don’t know why she died... I was just told by my roommate that she died.. Either she was being fought over by the mom’s and hurt, or squished because the box wasn’t big enough for 2 moms and 6 babies... or just couldn’t get to the milk.. then the last batch with the mom that stole the other moms kitten, all kittens were healthy, until this 5 week old girl stopped eating. And mom has stopped being a good mom.

Now my roommate, She doesn’t spend enough time with her kitties downstairs. She is always upstairs... when I drop hints to go down and care for them she will for a few hours clean up. But when I go down there, they are all over me, wanting attention. And the kittens cry at the door to let them up. They don’t want to be down there, so we let the kittens up, it stresses out my cats to no end. I have seen my baby get itchy and pull on her hair, but as soon as I see that, we give her loving attention and she feels better. She needs to know that she is number 1. Even when I see all kitties as the same. But some of the kittens, just love it upstairs, love the attention, and are all over us, some of us are anti social and never come up.

Now sorry this is getting so long.. its just that I have 3 kitties, and I feel bad because I don’t brush them enough, or I hardly EVER clean their teeth, or give them a bath when they bum gets really dirty. I feel like I can barley handle 3, even with the cost of food, litter and vet bills. And all of my cats are fixed, and non of hers are. And all my cats have been tested, and only 2 of hers has.. but when I went downstairs today, (roommate is at her boyfriends) there was poop everywhere, stepped on the carpet and it was wet. (pee) It smells like the males are spraying... poop on the walls all around the litter box. And if it wasn’t for me helping with the kittens, they would all be anti social and the 5 week old would be dead. I know she would have been dead if I didn’t help because I have seen all the other kittens die when I didn’t help and let her deal, if they were my moms with kittens, the second there was a problem, the kittens would have been at the vet, and if they vet said so, they would be under my care, not the moms... but she said she knew what she was doing... and I watched everything happen with most of them, and I recognized the same things happening with this one, and that is why I stepped in and took her to the vet. I don’t pretend I know everything... and I don’t pretend there is no problem when there is.

She said the little kitten ate a little, but she wanted me to make sure she ate before bed. When I went down there she was dehydrated again. I tried to force feed her the liquid the vet gave me and she didn’t want it. And I have been dehydrated. I know what it’s like... I had to drink 3 bottles of water even though I didn’t feel thirsty. After the 3rd bottle, I started to feel thirsty. So I drank more and was happy to do so... the second batch of kittens I was helping her feed, and she was like “don’t give them too much†so I didn’t and they died. And she said the same thing about this little kitten, but she isn’t there so I gave her lots... after the first bit I made her drink and she didn’t want it, I was preparing the second batch and she was happy to drink it. So I think she got enough for tonight. But I have to keep on her, because I know my roommate is not going to. And she still doesn’t want to eat out of the bowl.

Now I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have told her she can’t be in my house breeding, but she has done NOTHING to find homes for the kittens, the first batch is now 3 months old. So for a month we have had nothing in the way of homes... and she has done nothing to stop them from breeding... no males or females have been fixed, and when I talk to her about fixing one, she says “oh well I want to fined a home for her and they can do it†or “I can’t fix him, he is so typie†or “I have a breeder friend that will probably take him†but she hasn’t called her friend. And its been 3 months. Now I can understand how hard it is to close a good line. And I want her to give the “Typie†ones to a breeder who can continue the lines for her. But she will not do anything.. only talk about what she is going to do. Trying to slip this by me like I’m going to allow her to breed when she can’t even find homes for the ones she has up for adoption as it is. I did manage to find a foster home for one of her kitties, but she doesn’t want her anymore, and I need to find a home for this adult cat, and its REALLY hard to do. But my roommate does not have a job. And I have put adds out all over and she put out one.
I think she could find a home if she dedicated her time to this like she would any job. She has 40 hours a week she does nothing with herself, but clean cook and garden. These are things that people with full time jobs still find the time to do. And the grooming!!
I get lazy with my cats, and they can get dirty, but compared to her cats, its nothing...she just doesn’t dedicate anytime cleaning up or grooming her kitties, and I’m not going to do it for her, it like I am enabling her even now with all the things I have been doing. Its like I’m finding the homes for her, and I’m helping the kittens.

The number one reason this is bugging me, is because the smell is coming up stairs in to the house, and it is sick. She said she cleans the litter box every 2 days, and I hardly clean mine, I pooper scoop once a week, and it just doesn’t make that kind of smell. It doesn’t smell like pee or poo... it smells like spray. And she swears her cats don’t spray. She swears its the litter box. I can feel the value of my house already going down. When she moved from her home, the damage to her home was so bad, I had a friend who knows a friend that was involved in selling her house (small world) that told me that if her house wasn’t damaged by the cats it could have sold for double what it did. But this is my house now... and she is a friend... so I really don’t know what to do about this... she won’t listen... she is blind towards it. And when I do talk to her seriously, I always am left feeling really bad about it.
post #2 of 13
Thread Starter 
Oh and the 5 week old... I told her what the vet told me to do with her... constant attention... and yet tonight she was dehydrated again. So she hasn’t even followed through with what the vet said... and if she is giving her food, its far too little. She did say she locked her up with mom alone.. but... I now KNOW I HAVE to spend more time with this kitten otherwise I’m going to be taking her to the vet again. or she will die... and I’m tempted to take her to the vet just to get some loving cat attention from their male cat. I think even being held by another cat that loves her, and being cleaned to death might give her the motivation to keep living... these are things I do for my roommate because I love cats... but I really don’t think I should be doing them.. I think she should...
post #3 of 13
Wow your roommate is a very very bad breeder

The best thing to do would be to have her "typey" kittens sold to other breeders who can continue the lines and then spay and neuter everyone. She shouldn't be breeding.

It's hard when you're friends with people. Still it's your house she's living in. Does she pay standard rent? or is she getting to live there cheaply as well?

I think you should say that if she wants to live there still she needs to have her cats neutered and spayed or sold. The males might continue spraying once they've been fixed though. How many are there?

I don't know what else to say really, she shouldn't be breeding. Her setup sounds all wrong as well. Most breeders have enclosures seperated from the main house for their stud cats.
post #4 of 13
Evict her. Seriously. She won't be able to continue her breeding fiasco if she has no place to stay.

And, for the health of your own cats, scoop their litterbox twice a day!
Once a week is really unsanitary........poor cats!
post #5 of 13
Friend or not, this person needs some psychological help! You will have to get tough no matter what. Give her a 30 day eviction notice (by law you have to give a person 30 days unless otherwise stated in the rent contract). Do not accept any excuses from her.

She will probably use the excuse of not having any place for her cats. I would tell her either they get spayed/neutered now and found homes or they will be turned into the shelter.

And if she has a male that is NOT neutered, he is DARN WELL spraying! You will have to probably replace any carpet, etc. in the part she's renting cause of him. Unfortunately this happens a lot - there are far too many bad breeders/backyard breeders out there that give the good caring breeders a bad name.

We had some neighbors that did the same thing (but had mixed breed cats). They had 3 males and a female - why she never got pregnant I'll never know cause she was NOT spayed!. The males were never fixed, they sprayed on everything. The neighbors rented and totally ruined the place!

For awhile they had no place to stay, he went to jail for awhile (child support) and the wife stayed with people in church (several familes for a day or two at a time). They got kicked out of town - seriously - no one wanted them around because of how they ruined property. The cats were taken by one of the church farmers and they are now in several towns away in a place that will not allow any pets.

We would not even allow them to bring their cats on our property as we didn't want our cats to start acting up or spraying cause of them.

This is really sad because I'm sure your friend's cats are not even vaccinated, nor the kittens. IMO the cats are the ones that suffer the most in this situation.
post #6 of 13
That is so sad. This is the exact same situation that led to my getting my first cat. These people weren't breeders they just didn't take care of animals including getting them altered. One of their very young cats had her first litter and didn't have enough milk so she rejected one. They just put him outside when he was only about three weeks old. It turned out the best for him because a lady I used to work with lived next door and was a real animal person took him in and saved him. He was even heavily infested with fleas and she had other animals, since he was so young she couldn't use anything like Frontline on any of her animals so she was going through this routine of bathing animals and vacumning to get rid of him. She really didn't want to keep him because she already had so many animals so she was looking for a home. I really don't understand some people. If they don't want to take care of them then don't have animals. It's not like someone is required to have animals.
post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 
These are all things I want to say, but I can’t bring up the courage... she talks about building a shelter, and we were going to do that, but It feels like that is my job too. Because the one time I did set something up I was going to hire someone, and he ditched. I said I would pay half, since it was on my property, and when she moved I could use it for my cats who love it outside. She hasn’t done anything since. And she doesn’t want them out during the winter, or if its too hot out (which my cats LOVE.. ) so I don’t think its too hot or cold. I just think she doesn’t want to put them out. And I’m afraid I will help her with this enclosure, and it will not even be used.

As for my litter boxes, I don’t scoop once a week all the time, I’m just saying if I don’t stay on it.. and I do get lazy, it never gets bad, because I have enough litter boxes for the cats... I have even been out shopping with her and tried to get her to understand the one box for every cat rule... but still I get nothing from her... I have big litter boxes too. And she only has 4 small ones. (had 3 before I made her buy more, but only bought one more) so yeah I stay on top of it, I will always peek in and make sure it is clean... and there is never any smell. you have to walk right up to the litter box to smell anything.. but down there, the whole place smells like a litter box, and I can now see why they are peeing and pooping everywhere... she doens't have enought litterboxes, or enough clean ones.

Well that is the one thing I made really clear all cats were to have their shots, and all do, only ONE doesn’t. Because we can’t catch her to take her to the vet.. and the kittens are only 5 weeks, and when they are 8 weeks, I know she will get them their shots too... so that is the ONE good thing she has kept on. And she has been good with vet bills when I do take them in. She has paid me. But i still don’t think it should be my job to always take them in. Or set up appointments.

So yeah... I’m going camping with my husband for 3 days, so I will have to check back here when I get back, I think we will be talking about this lots over our camping trip, something needs to be said when I get home.
post #8 of 13
Seriously, EVICT her NOW. Don't feel bad, don't take excuses, this is not friend, she is taking advantage of you. You are going to lose the value of your house and have a lot of things to replace if you don't do something about this right now. She is the worst of the worse kind of breeder. Only worse she could get is if she had more cats, but the way it looks, she is heading in that direction fast.Don't worry about the lines being continued by annother breeder, just tell her to spay and neuter them all asap or kick her out.
post #9 of 13
I agree - evict her. Or if you can't bring yourself to do that tell her (in writing) that she has 30 days to spay/neuter all the cats old enough, and show that she's making a serious effort to find homes for all the kittens. If she stays make it clear that she is only allowed to keep a certain number of neutered adult cats. It's your home and you make the rules.
post #10 of 13
DH and I agreed (mainly cause of the actions of those neighbors) that if we ever invested in rental property, we would have in the contract that the tenents would only be allowed a certain number of dogs/cats and EVERY dog and cat had to be neutered and spayed!
post #11 of 13
I agree with all of the above. How awful. Some people...
post #12 of 13
First, she is NOT your friend. Real friends don't take advantage of each other. She is a user and a manipulator and is using your love of cats against you. Like everyone said, EVICT HER NOW before the winter arrives. She is destroying your home but YOU will be responsible if neighbors start complaining about the smell and health officials are at your door. There is no way in hell I would allow someone to damage my home.

As for the cats/kittens, I would have ALL of them spayed/neutered and given to a purebred rescue. I think all of them have been through hell and deserve a long permanent vacation from breeding. Even though I rescue I am all for responsible and ethical breeders. This 'friend' is NEITHER and NEVER will be. She obviously has issues, aside from being permanently lazy, and sounds like she will never grow up and learn how to be responsible. Why should she? She has you to be responsible for her and will use you for as long as you allow it.

Sorry for the bluntness, but you also need to take responsibility for yourself, your cats and your home. Why are you worried about hurting her feelings when she obviously has not taken yours into consideration? Cut the umbilical cord, turn her loose and get back your home, your life and your peace of mind. She is only going to drag you down with her. Smarten up before that happens!

Good luck!!
post #13 of 13
A true friend wouldn't put you throught this. It's obvious she's got problems and it doesn't seem like she's doing anything to fix them. You gave her a chance... she blew it so I agree with the ones that say: Evict her! If you're worried about the cats, contact RSPCA or anything like that. It's NOT important that the blood lines continue to live on, the important thing is to make sure all the cats get good lives. I seriously doubt that a serious breeder would be interested in buying a well typed, mistreaded cat and continue breeding it. I could surely take care of one, but I wouldn't breed it.

If I were you I would, without a doubt, contact the RSPCA if the cats aren't neutered/spayed ASAP. Then I'd tell her to get help. In Sweden we call this kind of behaviour "animal collecting". People who actuarally care about the animals, but they get to many and can't handle them. It's a psycological problem that needs to be dealt with.
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