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Rednecks another edition

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Redneck Overalls Just ask for the 'ARKANSAS CUT'



Yes, the new one is out! The brand new edition of You know you're a redneck when...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
post #2 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharky View Post
Redneck Overalls Just ask for the 'ARKANSAS CUT'

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
Whoops! Looks like I've been guilty of this one!
post #3 of 18
those are great!!!!
post #4 of 18


Those are great!!

Thank you for the laugh.
post #5 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharky View Post

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
OMG, this actually happened to me! I live in WV, but didn't think I was a redneck.....until now.
post #6 of 18
I had a working TV sitting on top of a non working TV.
post #7 of 18
I love these lists!!! And even New Hampshire has rednecks!
post #8 of 18
I think my hubby is a redneck that is hilarious
post #9 of 18
I don't think my hubby is a redneck.. I know he is.
post #10 of 18
Hey, I could probably entertain myself for 15 min. with a fly swatter. I guess I'm a redneck. Cool.
post #11 of 18
I've done two of those things!
post #12 of 18
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

post #13 of 18
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
- haven't offered it, but they would decline!

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
- mom did this!

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
- mom did this when we lived in Okalahoma

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
- this is my brother

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
- think at least 60% of homes still have this
post #14 of 18
Are redneck and hillbilly the same thing?

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
I love walking around the house looking for flys to swat! It also makes a great cat toy!

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
They would! Probably anyone else,too!

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
Used to be that way.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
Yep! Not that I've actually hauled any in it tho!

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
I've had to do this one too!

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Well...yeah! Especially greasey service stations!

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
Well,only a couple of Cool Whp ones...but I have quite a few that say margarine on the sides!

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
Ummm...yep!

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
Only the handle!
post #15 of 18
Number 15 I know the racers, their car number, and most of their wives names. I need to get a life
post #16 of 18
Quote:
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
My nephew's ex-wife. We named her car "The Rolling Molotov Cocktail".
post #17 of 18
We only burn part of our yard once/yr (I prefer to call it the meadow)!!

**runs to pick up fly swatter off of floor and put away**
post #18 of 18
I know the racing ones (but being from Bristol, you kind of have to! ) And we had a tv on a tv for a while... it made a good table!
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