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I don't understand my cat. Help!

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Hi,

I'm new to this forum and decided I need help with my kitty so I will try reaching out to fellow cat owners before I go insane!

I adopted Grace back in March and she was guessed to be about 1 year old.

She meows ALL of the time. (NO...she is not siamese) She doesn't like to be picked up AT ALL. She doesn't snuggle or lay with me AT ALL.
For a while, she would at least sleep with me, but she doesn't do that anymore. And she doesn't play like a normal cat either. (I know that sounds strange and mean but it's true!)
She just looks at things as you roll them by her.
The only toy she does play with is this thing called "The cat dancer" (I think that's what it's called) but she plays with it by herself. Not when I try to wiggle it for her.

I don't know what to do. I think I may have been the one to bring on this behavior (expect for the being picked up part) and I don't know how to fix it.

When I first got her, I started bringing her back and forth to my boyfriends house on the weekends which is a half an hour drive and I think I stressed her out too much. So now I got an automatic feeder and leave her home on the weekends and I think she's mad at me for that now and that's why she stopped sleeping with me.

Sorry for running on, but I figured knowing some background might be helpful.

If anyone has any suggestions I would be so grateful.

Thanks from me and my little Grace Under Pressure
post #2 of 15
I couldn't begin to help with your problem even though I've had a number of cats during my lifetime. I hope somebody can give you the advice you need, soon. Welcome to the forum. Keep us posted as to her progress.
BTW is she neutered, bc I've heard that females meow all the time until they're mated.
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the welcome.

Yes. She is neutered. That's one of the things the adoption shelter does before releasing them.

I'm wondering if she's lonely and if a playmate (aka - another cat!) would help?!?!

But I don't want to go getting another cat only to find out that's not what she wants and then have a whole new set of problems on my hands!
post #4 of 15
The first thing I thought of is that she is lonely. If you did get another cat, you would need to take the intros slowly which means you may miss going to boyfriend's for a weekend.

I don't have any real advice. I am sure someone will come along soon who can help Please keep us posted.
post #5 of 15
I don't know what to tell you about the meowing issue. But my Isadora is similar in the fact that she doesn't play like a normal cat. I always say she thinks she's too good for cat toys. She's always been like that, and it's just her stuck-up little personality. Occasionally I'll catch her playing with a hair band, but it's pretty rare.

She also recently stopped sleeping next to my husband after years of sleeping next to him nightly. She sleeps by my feet now. We're not sure why she did that, but I'm sure she has her reasons.

As for the meowing...I don't know...maybe she's lonely or needing attention...not sure.
post #6 of 15
Another thought: Where did you adopt her? Was it a shelter? Do you know her history?
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for getting back with some ideas.
I read somewhere on some web site that excessive meowing may be a way to get attention and to stop it you should actually ignore your cat. Otherwise they'll think that's the only way to get attention and they'll never stop doing it.
I don't know if that'll work or if I'd have the patience to just ignore her meowing!!

As for Bonnie's question, I adopted her from a shelter and the only history I know is that she was found in a box by the side of the road. :-(

I know she likes to be near me cause she follows me everywhere and has to be in the same room with me. She just doesn't like to lay with me or next to me and doesn't want to be picked up.
Strange little creature but I love her nonetheless.
We just have a weird relationship I suppose. :-/
post #8 of 15
My experience is that constant meowing is looking for another cat, not the same thing as trying to get your attention or food. I'd get her a friend if possible.
post #9 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by GUP View Post
Thank you all for getting back with some ideas.
I read somewhere on some web site that excessive meowing may be a way to get attention and to stop it you should actually ignore your cat. Otherwise they'll think that's the only way to get attention and they'll never stop doing it.
I don't know if that'll work or if I'd have the patience to just ignore her meowing!!

As for Bonnie's question, I adopted her from a shelter and the only history I know is that she was found in a box by the side of the road. :-(

I know she likes to be near me cause she follows me everywhere and has to be in the same room with me. She just doesn't like to lay with me or next to me and doesn't want to be picked up.
Strange little creature but I love her nonetheless.
We just have a weird relationship I suppose. :-/
Are you sure she can hear? Some of the things she does sounds like she could be deaf or hard-of-hearing...
post #10 of 15
Another thought comes to mind with the constant meowing, check with your vet, i.e. maybe there is something physically wrong. It's worth a try. As for wanting to be near you but not sitting on your lap or interacting when you play - it may be her personality. She may have been separated from her mom as a kitten and/or not able to play with her littermates. Neely, our present cat was adopted and is a real mischief maker. She is quickly using up her 9 lives!
post #11 of 15
I agree with having the Vet check her over to rule out anything.

She might just like to "talk" a lot - I, for one, like talkative cats.

You've only had her for a couple of months - give it some more time, she'll likely begin to let you pick her up - maybe have some food in your hand that will distract her while you're picking her up, then, maybe she'll get the idea that it's okay ?

One of our cats - came to us when she was almost 7 weeks (with her brother), has a personality that is different from the "boys" - she would always run when we'd go to pick her up, didn't want any petting especially ... but now, over a year later, she's coming around. The boys are "cuddlers", she was/is more cautious, and she had no reason to be - she was treated just the same as the boys.

The "getting another cat" can be really tricky, and might add to your "problems". When we got our two kittens (brother and sister), we already had a 2 year old.

I made a room into a "nursery" so the kittens would be kept safe and the older cat would become accustomed to the little ones. I used a cloth to rub on my older cat to get his scent on the cloth, then I scrubbed the kittens with the scent of the older cat so he would get a familiar smell from them.

I let them play through a gate, etc., but never trusted the older cat with the little ones until they were about 3 months old, then I supervised - the older cat wanted to play with them like they were his stuffed toys, ugh!

So, I guess, I'm just encouraging you to do some research before you decide to bring in another cat - but, yep, probably would be some companionship for her, especially if you're gone all the time.

g
post #12 of 15
You said in your post that she is alone every weekend. Does someone come in to check on her? How often are you home during the week? It sounds like your cat is seriously lonely for human (no necessarily cat) companionship. Is there anything you can do to alter your lifestyle to be at home more with your kitty? Cats are not like fish -- they do need their people. Perhaps your boyfriend could come to your house on the weekends instead? Not to be critical but it sure sounds like a lonely life for a pet.
post #13 of 15
I have three cats and one of them talks all of the time. He is the littlest but the loudest. Usually he is looking for his brother.
I think your cat is lonely.
I got companions this past winter for my 2 year old and she is much happier. I slowly introduced them to the household.
She is still very attached to me but I do not feel so guilty if I am gone for long periods of time. They all love each other dearly and I find then in little cat piles sleeping all of the time.

Try a companion.
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
She's definitely not deaf. She jumps at sudden sounds.

She's alone all day monday thru friday from 8:15 to at least 6:00, sometimes longer if my evil boss makes me stay. (I love my job, I love my job...)

I only left her completely alone one weekend. She was coming back and forth with me to my BF's on the weekends and I really thought the traveling was getting to her. I have had a few mini vacations, but I had someone coming over to check on her.
I have put my foot down with my BF and made it clear that I need to be home at least every other weekend. So on the 'other' weekend, I'm not sure what to do with her now.

maybe I shouldn't have gotten a cat?!?! I missed having a furry buddy around me since my divorce (ex got the animals!)
But it's too late now. What am I going to do? Take her back to the shelter?
I just can't do that. That would break my heart. I like knowing that I saved her and I don't want to reverse that. She's part of me now.
I just need to figure out how to make her as comfortable as possible in my life.
I would love to get a second kitty, but I'm not even supposed to have animals in my apartment. They were ok about me getting just her though. I just don't know if i'd be pushing it with a second one. (some people in those apts. have dogs! I don't know how they get away with that)
post #15 of 15
maybe some soft classical music while you're gone would help?
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