or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › A Profound Curiosity...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

A Profound Curiosity...

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
First, I haven't been posting much as of late because my time has been strapped and my moniter is still wiggy, but I really miss posting with all of you cool cats more than I have been able to as of late. Just wanted to say that before I post of some inner thoughts...

Sometimes in life we become so busy by the day to day rigors of living that we tend to overlook the simple things that can bring so much joy. In much the same way, we can have great friends and family, but we sometimes still feel lonely.

I can't help but to wonder why this is so? I am, generally, a happy person and I have lots of love around me, but there are still times that I feel like I am all alone in this world and wonder if there is some unseen subconcious reason that is manifesting itself in an emotional state to cause this feeling.

Everyone spends much of their life searching for their place in life, their soul mate, their goals to achieve, their mark on the world, etc. Well, my question to all of you (aside from sharing your own inner thoughts on this subject) is this:

Were you to not be here tomorrow, what would be the thing people would remember you most for? What impressions/marks will you have made?

I suppose that I am reflecting a little tonight and am about to go and curl up with Socrates and Tiger and go to sleep, but I wanted to share some of what I am thinking tonight. No, I'm not depressed or anything, just reflective.

I feel that I have had a good life and that I would most be remembered for my kindness, my ability to laugh and share that laughter, my way of doing those little things that mean so much and what a caring and giving heart that I have.

Of course, the given is I will always be remembered as loving cats and I can hear my friends telling cat storys about me. That and Jaws, because of the Jaws shrine I have in my apt., which is surrounded by an apt. filled with cat ceramics, paintings, etc.
post #2 of 17
MeowMan....wow very reflective. I think the things that I would be remembered for is for always trying to help everyone else be happy. Whether it is by my sponsoring children in 3rd world countries or helping out a stray animal or helping out friends in times of need - or even if they are not in need if they just need help with something small like be picked up from somewhere and taken somewhere else. My family would remember me for my reliability (sp?) and knowing that I am always there if they need me (even if they do some times piss me off and get on my nerves). My sister will remember me for just being her little sister and loving her so much and always wanting to spend time together.

I feel that sometimes I am taken advantage of - like I would give the shirt off my back if someone asked me. i am forever helping out friends in difficulties whether it is financial or needing a place to stay for a while. It hurts me deeply and maddens me when some people who are selfish and narrow minded take advantage of that genuine kindness, it makes me sit and think maybe I should think more of myself and not of others. But that is just not in my nature.
post #3 of 17
your post really struck a cord with me. I go out of my way to do things for the people I care about, and even people I've just met. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt from me. I've been hurt in the past because I have been taken avantage of. In fact not to long ago. It still stings. I won't go into all the details (just because it's long and not that interesting) but it's caused discord in my family. I thought my brothers girlfriend was a friend, but she isn't. nice to find that out after I bought her an plane ticket out to visit me to go see Matchbox 20 and to meet the band (since they are her favorite). luckily though the :censor::censor::censor::censor: hit the fan before the show so she didn't come. That's okay though, because I'm getting tougher.

Meowman, I totally know that feeling of being lonely & isolated. I'm lucky enough to have a lot of really great friends and family, but sometimes I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a desert, and there isn't anyone for miles. or I'm in the middle of a huge crowd and disapearing into myself.
post #4 of 17
Airprincess.....I am sorry to hear such a hard time. I am actually going through some pretty heavy s**t at the moment. I have been in a relationship with a great man, someone who I can say I actually fell head over heals in love with and that is so hard for me as I have been let down by men before.

Anyway this man was in Dubai on holiday we met and hey presto we became more than just friends before I knew it he had moved into my flat with me. We were together 1 year - well until yesterday.

He had done bugger all about getting a job and I had been the bread earner all that time. I kept asking him about work prospects but nothing. I am a great believer in taking responsibility for oneself and, like you, I too kept giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was going to get work soon. But alas he dissapointed me.

Right now I am financially, physically and emotanally (sp?)drained so I asked him to leave, I even offered him a flight ticket back to the UK. You know what I got instead of him saying Ok, he has been yelling at me and making me out to be the bad person and making me feel guilty for ending the relationship, and belive you me I did it in the nicest possible way I was not bitch I told him how I felt and I told him what I wanted.

I think that over the year I have done above and beyond my girlfriendly duty by looking after him but enough is enough. I now know that after all this time that he keeps telling me that he loves - maybe he loves the lifestlye - but I think he has no respect for me otherwise would a nearly 30 year old healthy male take advantage of someones good will. I would like to think not but maybe I am naive or stupid or something.

Right I will stop ranting and airing my dirty laundry in public now, I just feel so comfortable here with all of you, I have not told anyone this other than my mum and dad, as I fear that people will be dissapointed and think me stupid in my choice of man, my mum and dad are standing by me - in fact even though he is gathering up his stuff and moving tonight I am staying with mum and dad. which is sad because I amleaving my two babies alone tonight.

[Edited by Amanda on 05-07-2001 at 10:37 AM]
post #5 of 17
After reading your story, I can say 100% that you are so much better off without him. If he hasn't gotten off his ass in a year, it's never going to happen. You have too much to give, too much to offer someone to continue pouring your heart & soul (not to mention money) into a bottomless pit. I completely feel for you. Once the hurt lessens, you are going to be thanking your lucky stars that you had the courage and mettle to do it. you have to be strong and deflect the awful things he is saying. HE is the one with the problem, not you. I'm so proud of you of doing something so hard!!!!!

As for the debacle with my brothers girlfriend...so is life. she is the one who is worse for wear than me. it bothers me but I have to just remember that I didn't do anything wrong (ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that my brother & I are so close & she feels left out. she told me that his head is so far up my ass that he can't see straight. whatever)

keep your head up high girl!! you will get through this and be a stronger wiser person for it!
post #6 of 17
AP....I know what you are saying is right. Thanks for your words of encouragement - you have no idea how good it makes me feel. Thanks hun you are an
post #7 of 17
If you ever need to talk email me, or IM me. I've been there many, many times and it's very easy for me to say that you are better off, but when you're in the middle of the storm, it's hard to grasp onto that.

I really am truely proud of you, because it's so much easier to stay in a bad situation, then to rock the boat and make a change. You are a very strong person. don't forget that.
post #8 of 17

You deserve a medal for putting up with it for as long as you did. Do not feel guilty. This guy knew he had a good thing going. And as my dad would always say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". He probably figured he's got a good thing going so why rock the boat. You are not alone here. When I first got divorced, I thought I was nothing without a man in my life. I lived with a number of men thinking he was "the one". They all ended up disappointing me (cheating on me, doing drugs, etc.) It took me years of self-reflection and counseling before I realized I am a good person and don't need a man to feel whole. Sure I'd love a relationship in my life right now, but I'm not losing sleep over it. And for the first time in over 25 years, I am content (I can't say I'm HAPPY right now because my depression seems to be getting the best of me, but I know that too shall pass). I have wonderful friends, a great kid and a job that pays the bills. If at some point "Mr. Right" comes along (I'll settle for Mr. Filthy Stinking Rich )that's okay. If not, oh well.

The hurt will slowly go away. But put faith in the friends you have, including the ones on this site. They will get you through it.

Hang in there girl, you're a tough cookie and a true survivor! As with AP, you can e-mail me anytime. That's what friends are for.

post #9 of 17
Thanks to you Donna I will get over it and I hope that I will not make the same mistake a second time fingers crossed.

Oh and when you find that Mr. Filthy Stinking Rich...make sure he has a brother for me
post #10 of 17

I read through this post and I just wanted to say you are a very brave and strong person.

My thoughts are with you.
post #11 of 17

You got it! Maybe we can even have a double wedding HA!!
post #12 of 17
I too have a big heart! I know how it feels to be run over! Amanda, You are much better off with out that guy! The best of wishes for you!
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
You did the right thing. After a year if this man hasn't showed you the common decency and respect that you deserve by doing his 100% in the relationship, then he doesn't deserve your charity, kindness and especially not your heart.

I am a firm believer that in a relationship, BOTH have to give it their all and if it's one sided, then it's not fair to the other and doomed to failure. Though I am not pointing fingers here at all, it always takes two to tango, in both the success or failure of a relationship, but in your situation it certainly sounds as if you were the one putting forth most of the effort.

I'm sorry that you are having to face this heart breaking ordeal. Trust me, I have been on the used side of a relationship where I was the one making the most (unappreciated) effort. In the end, though some of the contributions to the failure of my first loves relationship was mine, most all of it was hers.

My heart is with you.I know that you are and you feel like but your obviously a strong so I know that you will make it through and be able to keep your head up.
post #14 of 17
Way to go Amanda!

I bet you've been feeling bad about the relationship for some time now. It's good that you finally made the cut, even though it must be painful now.

Are your parents also in Dubai? What are all of you doing there, if that's okay to ask? I'm just kind of curious... Sounds like a very exotic place (especially as I can't go there )
post #15 of 17
To all my friends...thanks so much for your words of encoragement. I am feeling 100% better today - even laughed last night. I am making moving on....Out with the Old in with the New. I have started throwing old junk away from my apartment and I had some friends round last night we ate chinese and have loads of gin and tonics and a real good laugh.

Anne...yes my parents are here. I actually work with them in the same company LOL. My sister and her hubby and baby are also here. Why can you not come to Dubai? Dubai is great the beaches have white sand and clear blue waters. There is great scuba diving places here. Tax free layed back kinda place. Love it
post #16 of 17
That's what somebody will say, six months after I'm dead. But seriously, regarding what I think I'll be remembered for, there isn't much to tell.

Some people whom I have known will probably remember me as that guy on local television. Others will recall I liked cats. A few will remember me from the early 1990s, when I was involved with a world-class athlete and the subsequent media circus.

Then there are those who will recall me as a survivor, having lasted through three years of destitution and homelessness. Finally, there are my friends. They will remember all of the above, plus the fact that I tried (not always successfully) to avoid hurting people.

post #17 of 17
Joe, you had confused for a moment - actually posting on topic You forgot to say that lots of people will remember you as that funny and sweet person Mr. Cat!

Amanda, I don't think they let people with Israeli pasports into Dubai Perhaps someday that will change but it looks like it's going to take a while...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › A Profound Curiosity...