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Does Gender Matter? FMMM FFMM ????

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I don't know why... but for SOME reason I have it set in my head that when you have cats that you should only have 1 female for them all to get along & you can have as many males as you want, as they'll all get along.

But I've noticed in Signatures that many have several females and 1 male or 2 females and 2 males or 2 females & 1 male or just 3 females, etc.

So I don't know where I got this idea in my head.

SO, I'm looking for some input on this topic... as I am currently looking into adopting a pair (MAYBE) (we WERE only going to adopt our 3rd and final LAP kitty for me, LOL, but we found an ad that has a PAIR of kitties for adoption) 1 year old Male and Female BOTH lap kitties, YAY!

I'm not sure yet... I'm still deciding... I might be adopting them... I need to find out first about this Male & Female thing first

Here are photo's sent to me of the pair

The Female

The Male
post #2 of 19
For me, I'd have more male cats then female . I've had a mix usually about 1/2 and 1/2 and had more problems with the females getting along, but none with the males (this included an entire male (breeding rex) who never sprayed and all the cats got along with him)

If you go for a split 50-50, then try to adopt 2 sister cats - that probably would work out the best in the long run.
post #3 of 19
The first thing to say is THEY'RE GORGEOUS!

On the male/female thing, I'm no expert, but we've had three three-kitty teams: [1] FMM [2] MFF [3] FFF. They have all worked, to varying degrees.

The first team was a female who had been an only cat for 14 years, joined by two 6 y/o males who had lived together their whole lives. She pretended to disapprove, but could be found grooming one of the guys fairly frequently, and just ignored the other most of the time.

The second was one of those males, joined when he was 13+ by two female kittens (littermates). He became Grampycat, and bore all manner of insults from them with equanimity.

The third is the current crew, Suzy, who was one of those kittens, joined when she was 2 by a pair of 5 month old female littermates. 6 years later, Suzy, the martyr, would have the world believe that Cindy is Devil's Spawn, but that doesn't reconcile very well with her seeking Cindy out for a chase. They're fine.

Bottom line? I have no idea what the behaviourists would say, but for me the empirical evidence suggests that gender doesn't matter much if at all, and it's really about the personalities of the individual cats.
post #4 of 19
I don't think gender matters. I think getting littermates is the best way to make sure they get along.

Previously I had 2 female siamese littermates who got along great.

Currently I have 2 females and 1 male and they all get long but none are best buds with another.
post #5 of 19
I've always (over many many many...years) had a mix, and inevitably what happens is that eventually the males decide the females are prey and there isn't one darn thing I can do about it - believe me I've tried very hard. I just end up playing cop a lot, sometimes keeping doors closed, etc., but have yet to find any way at all to keep the guys from going after the girls (and yes they're all neutered, and the girls are not wimps).
post #6 of 19
Well, if the cats have been living together, it would be best for them to go to a new home together. They will most likely stick together, IMO, and be like adopting one single cat. Right now I have 3 girls and two boys. One of the males (the very newest) is pretty high up in the pecking order, and he is deaf. The 17 1/2 year old female is on top.

Basically before I had 5 cats I would have said males get along better. With more cats, things sort of even out.
post #7 of 19
Thread Starter 
Hmmm... I kind of got an even amount of opinions here.

Thank you all so much for your advise

I think these 2 are just adorable indeed.

But I certianly want a harmonious group of kitties. (as harmonious as they can be anyway) lol

So, I think it'll be in my best interest to pass on these 2, I'm sure they'll find a wonderful home together somewhere. & I will continue my search for a wonderful Male lap kitty
post #8 of 19
I have five cats (2 male 3 female). One female hates all the cats, though she hates one male slightly less, and the other male the most.

In terms of fighting/bickering, I have far more problems with the females than the males.
post #9 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomer View Post
I have five cats (2 male 3 female). One female hates all the cats, though she hates one male slightly less, and the other male the most.

In terms of fighting/bickering, I have far more problems with the females than the males.
thank you, that certianly seals it. Yuki is my Queen Bee & shall Reign as the only female kitty in this household Hunting down a Male for sure it is.
post #10 of 19
well right now I have 1M and 2F while my 27 month old male has already accepted our new baby girl my other femaile 12wks old hates her still...Its rather funny really...Sadie my 12 wk old girl can be laying in the room purring away when my kitten sam comes in...Sadie starts growling and hissing so funny but tigger will run to the Sam and immediately hold her down with his paws and clean her...he is the "momma" cat but in my past experience I say It doesnt matter females dont seem to be as friendly or accepting of new cats as a males are...but its all the same in the long run!
post #11 of 19
I have three of each.
The general rule is that females are far more territorial and less accepting of other females, but in all things, it really depends on the individual cat.
post #12 of 19
With my ex-husband we had 4 females, 3 males. All got along great.

Here we have 7 males, all getting along.
post #13 of 19
we violated all the rules. i have 3 boys.
post #14 of 19
In altered kitties and young kittens gender matters much less than personality, temperament, and just general overall health and disposition. You will miss out on many opportunities if you limit yourself to only looking at females, or only looking at males.
post #15 of 19
We never thought of gender when adopting a cat. We have 6 indoor cats - 2 males and 4 females.

One of our females is pregnant and oh my are we hoping for more males. The females can be moody...the youngest female and the oldest female do not like each other. Male cats just seem to be more mellow...

We will probably get all females - but either way as long as they are healthy
post #16 of 19
Those two are adorable. I hope you decide to adopt them!

In my experience, it depends more on the cat than the gender. I have three females and one male and they actually all get along pretty well (most of the time!)

The youngest two, male and female, are littermates and very closely bonded, although the male is little more playful and occasionally gets on his sister's nerves.

My middle female loves the oldest, but only tolerates the younger two, who like to pick on her. My oldest female is fond of the middle one, but is actually closest to the male despite an 11-year age difference.

So, my conclusion is that cat relationships are complicated and I've given up trying to figure them out. As long as everyone's happy and healthy, that's what matters.
post #17 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilcon View Post
Those two are adorable. I hope you decide to adopt them!
We have decided to give it a go. I asked about the personality of these 2, they are both just loving lap kittys that will just love on you to no end.

I have e-mailed back and forth with the owner who is moving to Europe which is why she is rehoming them, we are to meet this Saturday & if all goes well I should be bringing these 2 home that day.
post #18 of 19
WOW What neat news! I hope the meeting goes well.
post #19 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lore View Post
We have decided to give it a go. I asked about the personality of these 2, they are both just loving lap kittys that will just love on you to no end.

I have e-mailed back and forth with the owner who is moving to Europe which is why she is rehoming them, we are to meet this Saturday & if all goes well I should be bringing these 2 home that day.
Aw! I was SO hoping you would try it with these two! Congrats, and good luck!
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