Milo - My Main Feral Man

First off, I'd like to say thanks to all you folks who take care of ferals/strays. You should all be proud of yourselves.

We decided to get a 2nd cat when we realized that our poor cat (named Cat) was pretty lonely.

We wanted a "cat oriented" cat who wouldn't compete too much for attention with Cat (since she's pretty "people oriented"). We scoured PetFinder.com for ages and my husband found Milo:


I was a little hesitant at first because Milo was described as a semi-feral who had been rescued when he was between around 6-10 weeks (we got him when he was 6-7 months). I didn't know if I had what it took to work with a feral, but his face got me and I had to take him home.

Milo was pretty shy for the first few weeks. He wouldn't let us near him, but wanted to be next to Cat all the time (she didn't necessarily feel the same way ALL the time, but there were some kitty naps next to each other on the couch).

Milo is now a lovely 8-10 month big guy. I can pick him up for a snuggle and he loves to push his head up to my hand for a head rub. My husband still has a little trouble picking him up since Milo usually scoots away, but Milo will tolerate handling from my husband.

My question is:
Milo is great with me, and ok with my husband, but frightened of everyone else. Even dinnertime won't coax him out! I'd love to get him used to other people, but what is better? Having lots of different people come over (1 or 2 at a time)? Or getting him used to more people 1 person at a time (e.g. ask my mother-in-law to come over quite frequently)?

I don't want to overwhelm him and don't know which way would be more/less overwhelming for him. I'm hoping that one day, we'll be able to go on vacation and we can have a catsitter/friends/family (or any combination of those) drop by to look after the cats, but that won't work if Milo won't come out to eat (the leaving food out option is not so good since Cat will gorge herself until she's very rotund)!

Big thumbs up to you for taking in a former feral. I live with 13 of them and can empathisize with your dilemna.

Realize that some cats, whether they born feral or not, will not always be socialble to anyone that comes into your home. If you were to poll people on this site, you would find a lot of "scaredy cats" that were not born feral. Cats that are friendly to everyone are a big bonus. Some of mine will leap into the lap of anyone that walks into the door, others hide under the bed the entire time, and some come out after a while. I can set my watch to Pinky, who after 2 hours, has had enough of time away and gets curious.

What I've noticed about my really shy ones is that they respond the best to people who are not loud, who will sit on the floor and play with them, or aren't upsetting the house routine. My Eightball came out of hiding for the first time in 9 years last fall when a visitor was simply sitting watching TV with us in the evening, a normal routine for us. Oscar followed him. It helped that our friend is a cat person and he didn't respond when Eightball showed up.

I agree with MOM's post above. I think for your Milo, you might be able to work with getting him used to the cat sitter but I would not invest a great deal of time in getting him used to bunches of people.

If you need to condition him for the cat sitter to feed him, you might work on getting him to come for food in response to the can popping or a whistle or something that will automate him showing up, and having the sitter be with you for a few times to do the feeding before you leave.

Or you could think about putting him in his own room while you are away. It would probably be more comfy for him than boarding him, even though it would mean separating him and your other kitty.

I notice with my scaredy cats, if I make it a big deal, they will too. And if I act like nothing is going on and don't make a fuss (i.e. no attention on them or staring LOL), they are more laid back and accepting.

Originally Posted by Momofmany

What I've noticed about my really shy ones is that they respond the best to people who are not loud, who will sit on the floor and play with them, or aren't upsetting the house routine. My Eightball came out of hiding for the first time in 9 years last fall when a visitor was simply sitting watching TV with us in the evening, a normal routine for us. Oscar followed him. It helped that our friend is a cat person and he didn't respond when Eightball showed up.

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This makes a lot of sense. Actually Milo will listen for new people in the hallway just outside of the apartment and if they're loud outside, he'll decide that he's going into hiding and not coming out even if the visitors are quiet in our apartment. Visitors really need to sneak their way into our apartment if Milo is to come out during the course of a visit!

I should try having a few guests come over just for some quiet TV watching time. We have found that he does sometimes come out for his evening playtime when my parents-in-law are over if they're just quietly sitting on the couch. He also really enjoys sniffing their feet and where they were sitting on the couch once they've left. I've never seen a cat sniff as much as Milo!

Originally Posted by BarbB

Or you could think about putting him in his own room while you are away. It would probably be more comfy for him than boarding him, even though it would mean separating him and your other kitty.

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The other room thing sounds quite interesting. Maybe I could have him put in a separate room at night with a few meals worth of food and have him let out during the day. That way he's not always lonely, but he can also be fed.

I know he probably won't be a social cat, I hope at the very least we'll be able to get him to trust a few other people (for example, my parents-in-law) to feed him so he/I won't be too stressed out when I finally take the courage to go away for the weekend.

Originally Posted by BarbB

If you need to condition him for the cat sitter to feed him, you might work on getting him to come for food in response to the can popping or a whistle or something that will automate him showing up, and having the sitter be with you for a few times to do the feeding before you leave.

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Hehehe...both cats are actually conditioned to come for food with a kissy noise. This makes my "people friendly" cat even more friendly because most guests will naturally make a kissy noise to pets and she gets so excited because she thinks they're going to feed her.

He is very cute!

Originally Posted by cococat

He is very cute!

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Thanks! It was pretty rewarding to watch him go from timid little feral kitty to attention whoring momma's boy.

What a beautiful little guy he is! Good luck with his socializing - he looks like he will be quite a handful!

LOL I love that - attention whoring momma's boy!

I know what you mean though, our own scaredy kitty is coming around and it is a big deal for us too. She is so watchful and fearful, you can feel her tension. And when she is able to fully relax, it makes us so happy!