TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Need your help
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Need your help

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
So I wrote here not a long time ago that I'm going to meet my girlfriend, and right now I'm not in Hillside but abroad and so is she.

So she was supposed to come to the airport by yesterday's noon but it didn't happen because there were issues with the airline company and because of that she came only at 2:30 in the morning and she told me not to come, because she's coming with a group and probably they won't be able to do anything but going right away from the airport to their place.

So today I drove all night about 3 hours just to see her, she still doesn't have a cell so I had no way to communicate with her, but guess what... it was too late and the whole group got to sleep

I felt so disappointed because I drove a long road and wanted to see her so much because we haven't seen each other for 4 months!!

And she still hasn't called me but she told she would only be able to do so on Tuesday (tomorrow fior you, today for me)

I don't know what to do, should I drive again to the hotel or to wherever they're staying?

I'm kinda really pissed on the fact she hasn't called me, and during all the time she's been in other countries she gave me only a few calls and was so busy, perhaps this trip is full of schedule-plans or I dunno but I'm kinda feeling upset about the whole thing and maybe if she calls me today I would do the same thing and ignore her and let her feel what I felt when I was trying to contact her so much, but maybe or actually it's not her fault that I couldn't reach her yesterday, I dunno

Please help
post #2 of 16
No, I wouldn't ignore her. That will only exacerbate the problem. Is there a reason she doesn't have a cell phone? There's tons of prepaid phones nowadays and they even work overseas (Virgin Mobil for example). Why not get her a prepaid phone as a gift so you can keep in contact with her?

My rule has always been to approach a problem with relationships with an open mind, and not suspect anyone of anything without definitive proof. "Fighting fire with fire" is a definite no-no and usually leads to deterioration of a relationship more than anything else.
post #3 of 16
Well... I wouldn't ignore her, because that kind of payback is destructive to any relationship -- and it may not be warranted. You don't know the whole story yet.

But once you're alone with her, I would quietly tell her that you were disappointed that she didn't communicate with you more consistently... and let the conversation develop from there.

You may find that she's been so caught up in the group schedule that she just didn't realize you were waiting for a call. You may find that she doesn't take your relationship as seriously as you thought she did. Or you may find that she's just a flighty person, and this is the best she can do.

If it turns out badly, please... bear in mind that long-distance relationships are very, very hard to maintain. It sounds to me like you're really working at this and doing all you can... so if it doesn't work out, please don't view it as a failure.

Hoping for the best!
post #4 of 16
well, i would go on with my life, and do whatever it is that you would normally do. You have put forth the effort. She has not called.

I say if it matter to her, she will get in touch with you.

but that is me,
post #5 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
You may find that she's been so caught up in the group schedule that she just didn't realize you were waiting for a call. You may find that she doesn't take your relationship as seriously as you thought she did. Or you may find that she's just a flighty person, and this is the best she can do.
Oh no, the bold option is definitely not an option, I mean I don't want to be sound cocky or something like I know her so well but we love each other so much, and when I say "we" I mean it equally, so that's definitely not an option, because when we talked she did say she missed me yada yada and I told her the same.

I think the 1st option is more like but I wonder like other people mentioned here what's the problem to get a cell? She told me yesterday she didn't have time to breath during this trip but she's having a good time which is good for me as well, but I still find it weird, or dunno, it's very confusing
post #6 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
well, i would go on with my life, and do whatever it is that you would normally do. You have put forth the effort. She has not called.

I say if it matter to her, she will get in touch with you.

but that is me,
But before this trip she's the one who called me so many times and talked to me so many times

But of course I did the same thing as well and I want the best for her first of all, not for me, but it's weird, I wonder what's going on there, and what should I do, drive there again or wait for a call from her first?
post #7 of 16
i can only say what i would do, Thats go do whatever it is i would. GO out, read a book, play a video game, until she called. That is me,

maybe some ladies here would give you different advice.
post #8 of 16
My husband travels a lot to different places all over the world. He always calls or emails me as soon as he arrives at his destination.

That said, there have been times when it's taken much longer to call then we anticipated. Sometimes the hotels don't allow international calls, and he has to go out and find a place to buy a phone card and use a pay phone. Once, he fell asleep and I was slightly wigged out by the time he called, and another time he had to find a place to eat first because he was starving. Many times he's missed flight connections because of delays, etc. etc.

My point is, give her the benefit of the doubt. All sorts of unexpecting things happen when travelling and it's very time-consuming to boot. Good luck!
post #9 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by arie85 View Post
I think the 1st option is more like but I wonder like other people mentioned here what's the problem to get a cell? She told me yesterday she didn't have time to breath during this trip but she's having a good time which is good for me as well, but I still find it weird, or dunno, it's very confusing
So yeah, if she doesn't have time to go out and get a cell, you can go and do it for her as a gift. If she objects to that or acts evasively with the cell, then I would sort of suspect something is a little off... but until that point I would keep an open mind and see how it goes.
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
My point is, give her the benefit of the doubt. All sorts of unexpecting things happen when travelling and it's very time-consuming to boot. Good luck!
does getting arrested and kicked out of the country count?
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
does getting arrested and kicked out of the country count?
Yes it does.
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your replies... I think I would do as you said and still keep in on "doubt" and not on "against" since patience is a virtue in those matters I guess....

Thanks again 4 da replies
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Hey

Just wanted to keep you posted it was all a mess because she got issues in the airport with the flight, but she's okay and we already met and it was such a good time together

Thank you for encouraging me to do the right thing ppl
post #14 of 16
I just wanted to add my own little story here. If you don't mind. I know I may be a little bit late, but oh well!

My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost 3 years when I decided to move to Arizona (from Iowa). I didn't have the money for my own place, nor did I have a job set up out here. So, I lived with my dad for the meantime. My boyfriend stayed in Iowa, while I moved out here to get things going.

We carried on a long distance relationship for 6 months! This is so hard! I only recommend this to people that have been together quite some time, and know that they love eachother and trust eachother! Before I moved, I trusted my boyfriend 110%! After I moved, I would find myself upset if he didn't call me, answer the phone, or if he went out partying. Stupid things to get upset about, I agree. What I learned from the whole situation is don't point fingers until you've talked to the person. When having a long-distance relationship it's VERY important that if you have any problems AT ALL... talk about them with the other person. You need to get any feelings out in the open in order to have this relationship work out!

He lives out here in Arizona now with me. Everything is better! This December we will have been dating for 4 years!

If you ever need advice/help about long-distance dating PM me.. maybe I can help!
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by arie85 View Post
Hey

Just wanted to keep you posted it was all a mess because she got issues in the airport with the flight, but she's okay and we already met and it was such a good time together

Thank you for encouraging me to do the right thing ppl

I'm so glad you guys managed to get together and everything worked out!
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by arie85 View Post
Oh no, the bold option is definitely not an option, I mean I don't want to be sound cocky or something like I know her so well but we love each other so much, and when I say "we" I mean it equally, so that's definitely not an option...
You're right, of course. How could I ever have suggested that this lady might be anything less than utterly helpless in the blinding blaze of your lovelight?

No, seriously, I'm so glad it had a happy ending!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Need your help