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Had to make one of the HARDEST decisions.... - Page 3

post #61 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover View Post
Have you spoke to & worked with your vet on this?

My Ophelia is on Buspar. Keeps her from killing other cats long enough for me to move out.... Honestly, I'm all for meds, in a case like Ophelia. I mean, she was not happy before, scared/nervous, now she's relaxed. She plays a lot, purrs, wants to be petted.....she's happy.
i will look into that. my vet isnt into " meds" for cats like that, so its been slow going. hes the one that told me if they dont like each other by now, they are not going to.
post #62 of 85
Drugs are a good temporary solution. Actually, we give Monster low doses of valium when we see, or think she is going to get stressed (she has seizures and takes phenobarbitol everyday). Talk to your vet and see if there is anything you can give them short term to lower their aggression. As they get to know each other, you can probably start weaning them off the medication and they may just realize the new guys aren't so bad after all. It shouldn't be too expensive. A 30 day supply of valium for Monster is $4.00.

It's worth a shot. We're just trying to help you figure out how to keep all of them and still keep your sanity.
post #63 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Drugs are a good temporary solution. Actually, we give Monster low doses of valium when we see, or think she is going to get stressed (she has seizures and takes phenobarbitol everyday). Talk to your vet and see if there is anything you can give them short term to lower their aggression. As they get to know each other, you can probably start weaning them off the medication and they may just realize the new guys aren't so bad after all. It shouldn't be too expensive. A 30 day supply of valium for Monster is $4.00.

It's worth a shot. We're just trying to help you figure out how to keep all of them and still keep your sanity.

and i thank you, believe me, its been torture for me, believe ME. i have had to take a Xanax myself, cause i am freaked about doing the right thing.

what about trying something like this??

http://www.petco.com/product/6441/Good-Cat.aspx
post #64 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post
and i thank you, believe me, its been torture for me, believe ME. i have had to take a Xanax myself, cause i am freaked about doing the right thing.

what about trying something like this??

http://www.petco.com/product/6441/Good-Cat.aspx
I'd say it's worth a shot! This is the first I've seen it, but I don't think it would hurt to try.
post #65 of 85
Thread Starter 
on payday i will go get some, they only carry it at Petco or Petsmart, and im broke now after everything,lol.
post #66 of 85
You might also talk to a different vet -- maybe one that's interested in alternative methods. The only two vets I've ever known who made such sweeping dismissals as the one you were given... well, they were not good vets, in my opinion. (One of them also told us, when Dylan was a kitten, that when he nipped us while playing, we should immediately put him in a cage and ignore him for the rest of the day!)
post #67 of 85
I really hope things work out!
post #68 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post
the other hard part for me is that i have wanted Birman cats for over 10 years, just never been able to afford them. So when the woman called me, i was OVERJOYED. Thats the other reason this is so hard
I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you rehoming the resident cats and keeping the new ones.

The cats got along fine with everyone before the new cats came and that's when the problem started.

Instead of rehoming the 2 resident cats, you need to rehome the 2 new ones if you are going to rehome any of them.

What ever happened to loyalty? Your 2 resident cats have provided you with unconditional love and loyalty and you are willing to turn them out on their ears in order to keep 2 cats of a breed that you have been wanting?

Sorry, I don't agree with that. Your loyalty belongs to the 2 resident cats. IMHO you should contact the breeder and tell her/him that it's not working out and you want to return the 2 new cats.
post #69 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you rehoming the resident cats and keeping the new ones.

The cats got along fine with everyone before the new cats came and that's when the problem started.

Instead of rehoming the 2 resident cats, you need to rehome the 2 new ones if you are going to rehome any of them.

What ever happened to loyalty? Your 2 resident cats have provided you with unconditional love and loyalty and you are willing to turn them out on their ears in order to keep 2 cats of a breed that you have been wanting?

Sorry, I don't agree with that. Your loyalty belongs to the 2 resident cats. IMHO you should contact the breeder and tell her/him that it's not working out and you want to return the 2 new cats.

um your wrong, and i asked a FEW times, if you dont have advice, then dont breate me, so your post is not of use. Read ALL my posts before you yell at me.
post #70 of 85
Liza24 you kinda have to accept that people are gonna have strong opinions on this. Many people have rescue cats in their home either from the street or shelter or because someone just had to rehome them. This post is gonna upset some people.

Many people have given you suggestions on how to hopefully make this work. And if none of that works like many of us have said the new guys should be rehomed not the resident cats. Sorry but people are gonna feel strongly about that.
post #71 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post
um your wrong, and i asked a FEW times, if you dont have advice, then dont breate me, so your post is not of use. Read ALL my posts before you yell at me.
I did read all of this thread, including every one of your posts before I made my reply.

The fact of the matter remains is that you have 2 resident cats that were getting along fine with everyone until you brought in 2 new cats. Now they get along well with everyone except those 2 new cats, and instead of rehoming the new cats, you want to rehome the 2 resident cats.

Your loyalty should be to the 2 resident cats.
post #72 of 85
Liza, maybe if you explain better to us why your ultimate solution (if nothing else works) is to give up the resident cats instead of the new ones - we would understand better and people could let that go.

I mean in general, I agree with the others - you've had your resident cats for 1 year and 2 years. After that I would LOVE those kitties and never be able to part. If I brought in two new cats for 6 weeks I would be no where near as attached to them as the resident cats. Yes it would be unfortunate to rehome them but it would also be easier on me and easier to do than to rehome your residents (since they're pure breeds I'm sure people would jump at the chance to take them - like you did).

I mean hopefully you can keep all of them, but if not and you still think giving up the resident cats is the solution - maybe if you explain why you feel that way - you will feel less attacked by those who disagree with you.

Most of us just can't imagine giving up cats we've had for years (I assuming since they were kittens) to keep a couple of purebreeds that you haven't even had for 2 months. It does sound unfair - but maybe we're not hearing the whole story. So if you explain - those posts will stop.

And I know your previous explanation was that the old kitties were the "problem" but they're not. Take the new kitties away and theres no more problem. That means that those new kitties are the problem, not your old ones. So that explanation doesn't really work. Really we're trying to understand how you feel so we can sympathize - but I think right now a lot of us just don't get where you're coming from.

And it occurs to me that if you rehome your old cats they may have some behavioral problems when it comes to EVER accepting new animals in their new home because their last owner gave them away when new animals came. Pets remember stuff like that, and it can hurt them and they're future behavior. Being rehomed at all is really hard on a pet, but associating that action with the arrival of a different pet would be worse. The new pure breeds wouldn't suffer the same ill effects if they were rehomed again (especially if they are just returned to the breeder) because they were only there for 6 weeks and never really settled.
post #73 of 85
Maybe I missed it -- I didn't realize you were choosing to keep the new cats (even partly) because of their breed. Liza, really... if you can look at the situation objectively, I think you'll see that the principle there is just wrong.

You brought the new cats into your home in good faith, hoping it would work out -- but because you gave them precedence over the resident cats, you set up a rivalry that's probably worse than it would have been otherwise. Now it's up to you to try to undo the damage and start things over again.

With the help of a good vet and the advice of some of the people here who know so much about these issues, you probably can make it work out in the long run. I know you're tired... but it's the right thing to do.

And if you don't make the effort, you'll be putting out two cats who love and trust you, and thought you had promised them a home forever. You won't feel right about that, no matter how much you enjoy your Birmans.

Please give this some more time, and a change of tactic.
post #74 of 85
I'm wondering if you have reach a space limitation and maybe if you can hold out long enough (I think you said moving in January), they can resettle and claim new territory.
post #75 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Maybe I missed it -- I didn't realize you were choosing to keep the new cats (even partly) because of their breed. Liza, really... if you can look at the situation objectively, I think you'll see that the principle there is just wrong.

You brought the new cats into your home in good faith, hoping it would work out -- but because you gave them precedence over the resident cats, you set up a rivalry that's probably worse than it would have been otherwise. Now it's up to you to try to undo the damage and start things over again.

With the help of a good vet and the advice of some of the people here who know so much about these issues, you probably can make it work out in the long run. I know you're tired... but it's the right thing to do.

And if you don't make the effort, you'll be putting out two cats who love and trust you, and thought you had promised them a home forever. You won't feel right about that, no matter how much you enjoy your Birmans.

Please give this some more time, and a change of tactic.

its not jsut the breed, its the type of cat. and what do you mean GOOD VET? supossedly he is the best in the area, and he takes the Care Credit credit card. Lucky he does or i wouldnt be able to get good vet care, the rest of the vets around here are more questionable then him.

and i DIDNT give them precedence, i just caged the one that was going wild, thinkin she was going to hurt someone or herself.
post #76 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post
its not jsut the breed, its the type of cat.
What do you mean type of cat?
post #77 of 85
Thread Starter 
laid back, sweet, loving of everyone. its their aura, not the breed. sorry,i jsut used the name cause i dont think alot of ppl know what " aura" means. and the blue eyes look into your soul. its jsut something that i cant seem to explain fully.
post #78 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
I'm wondering if you have reach a space limitation and maybe if you can hold out long enough (I think you said moving in January), they can resettle and claim new territory.
i think i have. i have a single wide home, with 3 rooms besides the front room/kitchen. one is a bedroom, one is a collect all, and one is my computer room. only the collect all has a door.

i should be able to move by or before jan. I am waiting on a car accident settlment, then i will be able to buy a house.
post #79 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post

and i DIDNT give them precedence, i just caged the one that was going wild, thinkin she was going to hurt someone or herself.
You do see that the one going wild is because there is a new cat? You do see that the wild one continues to do that because she keeps getting caged? Put the new guys in the kennel not her. She is only reacting to a situation you created not her.
post #80 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ping View Post
You do see that the one going wild is because there is a new cat? You do see that the wild one continues to do that because she keeps getting caged? Put the new guys in the kennel not her. She is only reacting to a situation you created not her.
i let her out. at this point its been aviodance on both parts. but there has been one instance of hissing ans slapping, but i let it happen, no swipes, no blood, guess thats good.
post #81 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza24 View Post
i let her out. at this point its been aviodance on both parts. but there has been one instance of hissing ans slapping, but i let it happen, no swipes, no blood, guess thats good.
Thats a good sign yes.
post #82 of 85
Thread Starter 
well, maybe because i did a smudging it helped ( using sage as a *smoke* to clear negitivity)

i seem to feel *stoned* after a smudging, maybe they do too.lol
post #83 of 85
three years ago, we did a TON of research. We got the right age, right sex, how to introduce - everything. It took three years for them to be any closer than across the room - now they sleep on the same couch, in the same bed (granted they are still on opposite sides of said couch and bed). One thing we definitely followed, was if there was any trouble, we put our new kitten in a different room. Our resident cat had full run of the house when we brought the new one home - nothing changed there. I wish you all the best of luck with your cats, and hope that you get a bigger house soon. A one bedroom place is almost too small for two cats, let alone the number that you have - IMHO.
post #84 of 85
Okay, I'm sort of an advocate for Liza here... IMO, the point here is to get the cats to all live together. If it doesn't work, one or more of the cats are going to get rehomed, and honestly, while it's not the opinion or the choice that other people here would make, ultimately what it comes down to is ... if she can't make it work then she's going to have to rehome cats. Period. Some kitty, no less deserving than another kitty, will have to find a new home. I also don't think it has anything to do with the breed.. she stated early on that it has to do with who is being the aggressor.

I don't think you need to talk to the vet about it more than you already have, unless it's to discuss medications. He's not going to be able to help with behavior. IMO, you need to talk to a behaviorist. Since they are slightly expensive, I'd personally try putting some of those soft paws on the attacking kitties, to avoid injuries to the newbies.. and then I'd probably try to use some of Kerry's techniques. A lot of similar situations to yours were covered in the thread I linked in earlier on.

One of the solutions offered there was to split up the two fighting kitties, not to scold, yell or otherwise give them any attention, positive or negative.. then put them in separate rooms for half an hour. There was another solution offered as well.. to me, if you want to look for it under my post in that thread.


There is also this, although I'm not certain whether it will help or not as it's about kitty aggression to an owner, but it does involve other animals, and it might be useful. http://www.thecatbehaviorist.com/ Click on the aggression tab.
post #85 of 85
Since it has only been six weeks, I would hang in there... especially since you say that you'll be in a bigger house in only half a year.

I believe your vet is wrong in saying that if they don't get along now, they never will. Six weeks is nothing, in terms of new cats adjusting. You should expect it to take a few months for the cats to settle on a pecking order.

Even though the bathroom is small, the best course of action is to keep the new cats in there when you aren't around. They'll be fine in there... it's no great hardship. Then you can let all the cats mingle together, little by little, when you're there to make sure it goes well. It really helps cats adjust to each other when they are able to have some private time (and space) away from each other in between.

Eventually you'll be able to let them out longer and longer. And you'll be able to judge when they are all getting along well enough to be together permanently.

It also helps if the humans stay calm while the cats are interacting -- no yelling if they start to fight. Just quietly and firmly separate them back into their two areas.
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