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Sex-Ed for 5 Year Olds?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=3395856&page=1

While I agree that kids that age should know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, it should be taught by the parents, not by teachers at that age.
post #2 of 29
True, but what happens if its one of the parents that are doing the inappropriate touching (and the same can hold true for the teacher as well)?

I guess I just look at it like this: if we begin teaching sex ed at age 5 whose to say that in 10 years politicians don't demand it even younger (such as preschool)...or younger then that; day care.
post #3 of 29
no, no, and...... NO.....

I have a 5yr old and I do NOT want him being taught these things in school.

He's going into Kindergarten next month and I don't think it's appropriate to teach a child this age anything beyond general hygiene.
post #4 of 29
I think it's a good idea, too often parents aren't telling their kids anything and I think it's important that kids learn the difference between good and bad touching.
post #5 of 29
Age-appropriate sex education for five-year-olds would basically consist of being taught the proper terms for all parts of the body, and being told that nobody has a right to touch their bodies without consent.

I don't see anything wrong with that. We have taught our daughter those things since she was about two! Even with potty training, we had her implied consent to help. If she said no, that she wanted to do it herself, we backed off.

You can't rely on parents teaching the above. They get embarrassed.
post #6 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
You can't rely on parents teaching the above. They get embarrassed.
That's true...otherwise you hear "I have an uh-uh and he has a pee-pee. No one can touch my uh-uh and no one can touch his pee-pee"

(IMO that would just sound ridiculous!!)
post #7 of 29
The more we teach our children about their bodies and how they work the less issues they will have down the line. If five year olds are taught about their bodies they are much less likely to get pregnant, have and STD, or get into a sexual situation that is inappropriate. More good will come from this than harm.
post #8 of 29
I can only wish that I had been taught that at 5 years old. Quite a few very bad things would not have happened to me shortly thereafter.
post #9 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Age-appropriate sex education for five-year-olds would basically consist of being taught the proper terms for all parts of the body, and being told that nobody has a right to touch their bodies without consent.

I don't see anything wrong with that. We have taught our daughter those things since she was about two! Even with potty training, we had her implied consent to help. If she said no, that she wanted to do it herself, we backed off.

You can't rely on parents teaching the above. They get embarrassed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
The more we teach our children about their bodies and how they work the less issues they will have down the line. If five year olds are taught about their bodies they are much less likely to get pregnant, have and STD, or get into a sexual situation that is inappropriate. More good will come from this than harm.
I agree with the above posts.

I think the people against this are taking it our of context. It would be age appropriate as stated above. Answers to questions such as where do babies come from would be answered age appropriately. Maybe they would start by just clearing up myths, like babies don't get dropped off by storks ect.

Also, it wouldn't hurt if parents got involved with the school and teachers while they approach these situations. You can do a "talk" to prep your child or do follow up with questions. I mean, if you were going to tell your child age appropiate truths anyways, I don't think it would hurt to have some follow up as well by an outside, informed authority figure that your child(ren) look up to.
post #10 of 29
Well at my preschool we were taught the age appr stuff .. ir good touch / bad touch , basic body stuff.... That FOLKS was 25ish YRS ago ... YES parent s knew
post #11 of 29
Quote:
The more we teach our children about their bodies and how they work the less issues they will have down the line. If five year olds are taught about their bodies they are much less likely to get pregnant, have and STD, or get into a sexual situation that is inappropriate. More good will come from this than harm.
I agree. I asked my mother repeatedly as a child where babies came from, and she would tell me "You're too young to understand.".... Well let me tell ya, when you're 8 and in a locker room at a youth center over-hearing about these things, it is not the best first influence into the subject.


Let me tell you something else. In sixth grade, ages 11-12, I knew several young people who were already experimenting sexually and I really think if parents and schools were teaching children early on, a lot of future problems with hypersexuality and young people could be avoided.

I was curious at 5, I'm sure most children are......I never got the proper education about it and YES, many parents are embarassed to have these conversations, as I'm sure my mom was.

Bottom line, I think it's a really good idea.
post #12 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Age-appropriate sex education for five-year-olds would basically consist of being taught the proper terms for all parts of the body, and being told that nobody has a right to touch their bodies without consent.

yep i can agree with that part
post #13 of 29
Inappropriate places to touch discussion has been taught as "anywhere a bathing suit touches" and doesn't go any further than that other than what to do if someone does. Usually guidance councilors do this.

5 year olds can't comprehend something that complex. Their brains aren't developed for complex knowledge such as that. It's hard for a 5 year old to see something outside themselves and their little universes.

I student taught second grade, and we had a sex ed curriculum for them. They learned about nursing/ motherhood through our whale unit. We let them make the connection to humans on their own.
post #14 of 29
I'll say this about the "good touch/bad touch" and body awareness education. When I was two and a half we had that discussion at school. For some reason I took it to heart. A few months later I was mauled by a dog and rushed to the hospital. As I was being wheeled into the operating room a very nice nurse who was just trying to do her job tried to take off my underwear. I screamed, " I DON'T KNOW YOU! I DON'T KNOW YOU! STOP TOUCHING ME THERE."

My Mom could hear me all the way in the ER. She said she smiled because 1. She knew I didn't have brain damage because I was just taught that information. 2. If that were to ever happen I'd be loud enough to alert the tri-county area that I was being molested.

It may be funny now, but if that were to have been a bad situation I would have known what to do.
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
I'll say this about the "good touch/bad touch" and body awareness education. When I was two and a half we had that discussion at school. For some reason I took it to heart. A few months later I was mauled by a dog and rushed to the hospital. As I was being wheeled into the operating room a very nice nurse who was just trying to do her job tried to take off my underwear. I screamed, " I DON'T KNOW YOU! I DON'T KNOW YOU! STOP TOUCHING ME THERE."

My Mom could hear me all the way in the ER. She said she smiled because 1. She knew I didn't have brain damage because I was just taught that information. 2. If that were to ever happen I'd be loud enough to alert the tri-county area that I was being molested.

It may be funny now, but if that were to have been a bad situation I would have known what to do.
Now, THAT is adorable. You were taught well.
This is a weird memory, but my "don't let people touch you there" mindstate came from that Webster episode where the kids are being molested by their teacher (i think it was a teacher?). Hearing the little girl crying and telling him she didn't like what was happening through the door while Webster was listening in, really really bothered me.

I must have been tiny when I saw that, no more than 4 years old, and it *ALWAYS* stuck with me.
post #16 of 29
Looks like this is going political now.

http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=3395856
post #17 of 29
I really think that this whole debate is more one of semantics than anything.

Is there anything wrong with teaching a small child about inappropriate touching? Should they not know that it's OK to say "no" to someone trying to touch them inappropriately? Should they not have the information that would allow them to tell someone they are being molested?

It's the "sex" idea that so many parents freak out about. They aren't talking about telling 5 year olds about the birds and the bees. "Age appropriate" education would preclude that anyway since they would not be able to comprehend it.

I guess I don't see what the "debate" is actually on? Education about anatomy is not morality lessons. There's a huge difference. One should be taught in school, one should be taught by the parents.
post #18 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReesesPBC View Post
While I agree that kids that age should know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, it should be taught by the parents, not by teachers at that age.
Except that we already don't expect parents to A) monitor what their children watch on TV; B) teach their children basic manners; or C) choose age-/maturity-appropriate video games for their children. Instead, we expect our government and public interest groups to monitor these things for us, and to establish rating systems and codes of conduct to spare us from having to think about these (apparently unimportant) details. So, if we therefore have to rely upon our government, school boards and public interest groups to take care of these things for us, logically we should also have to rely upon these groups to ensure our children -- regardless of age -- are properly educated with regards to sex and their own bodies.

We can't have it both ways. I personally would prefer to be allowed to decide for myself what constitutes an appropriate movie or video game for my children to watch/play, and I would prefer to be allowed to decide when my children are ready to learn about sex education and the functioning of their own bodies. Since there are parents out there that are unwilling or unable to do these things themselves -- due to discomfort, lack of education on their own part, or just plain laziness, I don't know -- we have to allow these groups to make these decisions for us as a whole. We should be making these decisions for ourselves, for our own children, rather than permitting social groups and governments to decide on our behalf, but gosh, some folks just find it so darned hard. (And other folks, meanwhile, find it so darned easy to make these decisions for everybody else. Because, of course, governments and special interest groups are always right.)
post #19 of 29
Children get raped at ages younger than some of you think would be appropriate to learn sex ed.

If they can understand the rest of their body parts, there is no reason to believe they can't understand that part, and having an entire area of your body that you know nothing about could help foster the idea that your genitalia are dirty or shameful.

They are not talking about teaching them what adults do with those body parts, as Heidi said. But why do we lie to children and teach them that their own anatomy is bad? My best friend when we were little, had a bladder/UTI and didn't know how to tell her mother so she had a rampant infection for like a week. We were old enough to use the toilet by ourselves, but she forgot the part about always wiping front to back.

A lot of people get their first period and believe they're dying or something is wrong with them, and are completely unprepared for it. A scary number of people don't understand how you get pregnant, or understand the necessity of safer sex. Not that they should start teaching these things to 5 year olds, but the sooner and more we talk about this stuff, get it in the open, we prepare people to be honest with themselves and each other concerning sex.

It's astounding the number of friends I have had to teach about sex, in general, and usually only after they've already had it. Because my parents actually taught me about it-- as easily as leaving pregnancy/baby books around and not acting ashamed about sex or bodies. Far as I can tell, most people had parents too embarrassed to talk about it and unfortunately went to schools with abstinence-only ed (which is an absolute failure, and has proven to be so).

By the time most schools start 'family life' children are already embarrassed by themselves because of the conspicuous lack of conversation about that sort of thing.
post #20 of 29
I think sex-ed should be age appropriate and that they should focus on 'inappropriate touching' and 'stranger danger' stuff at the age of 5... From seven or eight kids should be taught the facts

I'm shocked and saddened that America still teaches abstinance-only sex-ed. HIV is on the rise amongst heterosexuals in the UK so I can only fear for the future of America
post #21 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
Children get raped at ages younger than some of you think would be appropriate to learn sex ed.

If they can understand the rest of their body parts, there is no reason to believe they can't understand that part, and having an entire area of your body that you know nothing about could help foster the idea that your genitalia are dirty or shameful.

They are not talking about teaching them what adults do with those body parts, as Heidi said. But why do we lie to children and teach them that their own anatomy is bad? My best friend when we were little, had a bladder/UTI and didn't know how to tell her mother so she had a rampant infection for like a week. We were old enough to use the toilet by ourselves, but she forgot the part about always wiping front to back.

A lot of people get their first period and believe they're dying or something is wrong with them, and are completely unprepared for it. A scary number of people don't understand how you get pregnant, or understand the necessity of safer sex. Not that they should start teaching these things to 5 year olds, but the sooner and more we talk about this stuff, get it in the open, we prepare people to be honest with themselves and each other concerning sex.

It's astounding the number of friends I have had to teach about sex, in general, and usually only after they've already had it. Because my parents actually taught me about it-- as easily as leaving pregnancy/baby books around and not acting ashamed about sex or bodies. Far as I can tell, most people had parents too embarrassed to talk about it and unfortunately went to schools with abstinence-only ed (which is an absolute failure, and has proven to be so).

By the time most schools start 'family life' children are already embarrassed by themselves because of the conspicuous lack of conversation about that sort of thing.
Amen to all of that. I was that kid, who thought she was dying. Mum was totally freaked out about having to have this discussion, and because she started her period late, allowed herself to procrastinate about talking to me. Even when her hand was forced, she found the books and let me read. We hardly talked at all.

I don't have and never did have any ill feelings about the way that all worked in my life, because that totally freaked out embarrassment of Mum's was just part of who she was, and there never was a gentler soul or a better mother. But it sure would have been nice to have some warning, I'll tell you.
post #22 of 29
In a perfect world, we could all teach our children these things ourselves, be comfortable talking about it and they'd come to us with every question. In reality? Parents freak out, procrastinate or just plain lie and kids end up confused. That's not great and it probably doesn't lead to open dialogue and sexually healthy young adults, but it's not what makes me want these kids to learn sex ed at 5. You know what does?

The little girl in your son or daughter's kindergarten class, whose daddy is molesting her. I understand DixieDarlin's point, about wanting to teach her son herself. And she should absolutely do that. But I think he should hear about good touch/bad touch and general anatomy in school, as well. I know maybe we don't want some teacher bringing this stuff up with our kids, but I think we have to have it in schools as a safe guard. If we don't teach it in class, then it's a perfect set-up for that "daddy" (and I use the term loosely) to fill that little girl's head with all sorts of misinformation, guilt-trips, threats and all around fear to keep her in the dark about her rights, and what's right and wrong.

Now, on a personal note....I actually don't remember NOT knowing where babies come from. My mom brought home a book before my sister was born. I was under 2 years old. She explained the very basics (mommy and daddy each bring a special piece of themselves, the babies grows in the mother, etc etc). When my brother was on the way, I got the full, anatomically correct definition. I was 5. It didn't bother me. My mom was always really proactive about talking to us. I remember a book about good touch/bad touch that I had when I must have been still a toddler. I knew all about menstruation before sex ed taught me. When I was around 9, I remember asking my mom, in front of another couple they had over for dinner, what masterbation was (having heard the word on tv) and being told the truth, right then and there. I was kind of embarassed when I heard, but I'm glad now that she didn't make me feel like I was being inappropriate by asking questions. I never had to worry that she would sidestep the issue or make me feel silly if I wanted more information about something.
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
Children get raped at ages younger than some of you think would be appropriate to learn sex ed.

If they can understand the rest of their body parts, there is no reason to believe they can't understand that part, and having an entire area of your body that you know nothing about could help foster the idea that your genitalia are dirty or shameful.

They are not talking about teaching them what adults do with those body parts, as Heidi said. But why do we lie to children and teach them that their own anatomy is bad? My best friend when we were little, had a bladder/UTI and didn't know how to tell her mother so she had a rampant infection for like a week. We were old enough to use the toilet by ourselves, but she forgot the part about always wiping front to back.

A lot of people get their first period and believe they're dying or something is wrong with them, and are completely unprepared for it. A scary number of people don't understand how you get pregnant, or understand the necessity of safer sex. Not that they should start teaching these things to 5 year olds, but the sooner and more we talk about this stuff, get it in the open, we prepare people to be honest with themselves and each other concerning sex.

It's astounding the number of friends I have had to teach about sex, in general, and usually only after they've already had it. Because my parents actually taught me about it-- as easily as leaving pregnancy/baby books around and not acting ashamed about sex or bodies. Far as I can tell, most people had parents too embarrassed to talk about it and unfortunately went to schools with abstinence-only ed (which is an absolute failure, and has proven to be so).

By the time most schools start 'family life' children are already embarrassed by themselves because of the conspicuous lack of conversation about that sort of thing.

Like someone else said, AMEN TO THAT!
I agree with everything you just said, that was very well thought-out and you touched on points a lot of people don't think about!!!
post #24 of 29
Are you aware of the fact that California schools are teaching 1st graders about homosexuality????? That's its ok?

There are things going on in schools you would be shocked at! Too many parents are NOT taking the responsibility to teach their kids about sex - so who DOES have to take the responsibility?
post #25 of 29
Along similar lines, for any parent trying to figure out how to start this discussion with a young child, I'd suggest the book "Where did I come from?" Read it yourself first (obviously) to make sure you're comfortable. They have cartoon style pictures to explain everything. I think cartoons make it easier for the parents to explain.

Anyway, my parents read this book to me when I was 4, when my mom was pregnant. I understood as much as a 4 year old could. (I was also given the "private parts" talk and the "we don't say these words really loud in grocery stores" talk with this book.) It's probably more ideal for a 6 or 7 year old, since they can understand more, but it still works for little kids. Really, I think when I have kids, I'll use it several times. As the kids get older, just explain more and use it as a starting point for other discussions.

Just thought this would be some useful info for anyone with kids.
post #26 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Are you aware of the fact that California schools are teaching 1st graders about homosexuality????? That's its ok?
Whoa whoa whoa, are you suggesting that teaching children about homosexuality in first grade is wrong??? And furthermore in their teachings that homosexuality is, as you said "okay".....???????????

I'm just going to wait for that response before I continue with what I'm thinking of saying right now, to make sure I understood that statement correctly as it was meant........................
post #27 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Are you aware of the fact that California schools are teaching 1st graders about homosexuality????? That's its ok?
It is okay, and I will not hesitate for a second to teach my children that. Are you aware that a lot of those children have gay parents? Should their school be teaching them that their family is wrong?

The lessons, again, are not about sex at all. Only teaching tolerance and acceptance of things that are different from them. Something a lot of us seem not to have been taught.
post #28 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
It is okay, and I will not hesitate for a second to teach my children that. Are you aware that a lot of those children have gay parents? Should their school be teaching them that their family is wrong?

The lessons, again, are not about sex at all. Only teaching tolerance and acceptance of things that are different from them. Something a lot of us seem not to have been taught.



Extremely well put, and if I had gone any further in this discussion in reponse to that, I'm not quite so sure I could have been quite so eloquent.
post #29 of 29
Before I get myself in trouble for my opinion - keep in mind its MY opinion and you are entitled to yours. For me its wrong. That's all I will say because I don't want to be repremanded by the mods for really getting into it

I have very stong opinions in this subject.
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