Still Hurting each other after a year!

There have been a few threads about cat fighting and how much is too much, but my question is, what if they are still hurting each other after a year together? I don't know if I introduced them "correctly" or not, but it's a little late to remedy that. My poor smaller female cat's face looks like she's being badly attacked repeatedly. We've tried seperating them or giving the more jealous one more attention, but they just go through these phases where they fight like crazy. He is neutered, she is spayed, so that's not a problem. At times they seem to get along and lay together, but inevitably it turns into a fight. We are considering either getting another cat to be the younger one's playmate(which we don't have room for), or giving the male cat away. Anyone have any helpful advice? It's a very touchy situation to talk about with my husband because the male cat is more "his cat."

Sounds like those cats are just not gonna get along. You will need to keep them seperated forever or find a new home for one.

You could try re-introducing them.

My DH and I each had a cat when we got married, a male and a female both "fixed." They have been together for almost 5 years and still do not get along. They get into fights with the rare minor injury, but we try to break them up when we are around. They tolerate each other, never getting to close, but we've come to the conclusion that this is the way it's going to be.
The only thing that would concern me is the kind of injuries they are inflicting on one another.

I wonder if sometimes the little boy cats are fixed too late in life, that they are little rodents. I am going through this with Toby and Hallie... he's going to kill her.

My Ophelia was doing major damage to all my other kitties, but Lily in specific. They live on seperate floors of the house.

My suggestions are:
1) Get them both vet checked
2) Invest in Feliway diffusers
3) Seperate them
4) After a "calm down period" while the Feliway has had ample time to work....slowly start the introduction process again
5) Do not allow the "fights" to escalate to injury

If nothing else, work with your vet. I worked with mine. Ophelia is now on Buspar, as a last resort. After a year of trying things, the Buspar now works for her.

IMO, the key is to ruling out any physical problems.

I agree with white cat lover to rule out a physical condition first, so have a vet check them both first.

Since you said they have periods when they get along and then suddenly the boy goes off on your girl, I would ask you to look closely at the situation and ask yourself if this is during a time where you and your husband are at home less, or during holiday season when things are different, or maybe after you have been away on a trip or one of you has been sick?

Any of those things that would take attention away from your boy and cause him to become bored and restless - and aggressive- could evoke a rough fight.

You don't want to reinforce him by introducing play sessions whenever he starts to bully the other cat, but you might want to just set a regular playtime with him to give him an outlet for that aggression and boredom. It sounds like these are your babies and they are used to a lot of attention, and so possibly your boy takes out any loneliness on the other kitty.

This is just a thought since this is what happens with my kitties. We did add a third kitty when our boy cat was too much for our other kitty. Now he goes after the third cat LOL. On the good side she is hyperactive and enjoys rough housing LOL but you are right, it is rough play. I have not seen scratches though; that is disturbing. I would ask the vet about it too.

I appreciate all the advice, it's nice to hear from so many with so much experience. Lily, the smaller, younger one saw the vet last week and everything is fine with her. Mr. Thomas Kittens saw the vet recently two and he is okay as well. We think (the vet, my husband and me) that Thomas is definitely more of a nervous or anxious cat. He puts up with Lily, but seems like he likes to keep his space from her. She loves to cuddle, thus is always in his space, licking him. He gets annoyed and then goes on the offense. Then she thinks they're playing, which btw, she loves, but then he starts cornering her and not letting up. That's when we hear the hissing and cat screams from her. We try to break it up before it escalates to that, as well as keep them apart at night. She is as laid back as a cat could be and is very loving and playful. He is demanding and tempermental. I am interested in the Buspar that was mentioned earlier in the thread on account of Thomas' anxiousness. Infact, we have sometimes wondered if he's sort of cat schizo. What exactly is that medicine and what does it do?

You've gotten lots of good advice I just have one thing to add. Do NOT get another cat/kittne until this issue is resolved. Another cat most likely won't help the issue and may make your male even more aggressive.

Haha. Those were the vet's words almost exactly. I appreciate the advice. I'm still wondering about the medicine someone mentioned above.

Chelsea