Is almost 2 years too long?

oscarsmommy

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Apparently 2 years is a long time to be engaged. Anytime anyone asks when the wedding is, I tell them Spring of 2009. I get this shocked reaction, kind of like "That's a long time!" sort of reaction. The tone of their response bothers me. We decided to push teh wedding back because of money problems and I know that people, when I explain that to them, want to respond by saying "Then you shouldn't be getting married." At least this is the way most people seem to react. I can tell by body language and facial expressions.

Anyways, does anyone else think that this is a long time to be engaged? I know that I think we're being responsible and taking our time. We want to be financially stable before joining our lives together.
 

katachtig

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It is unusual - but I admire the fact that the two of you have come to this agreement and are working toward financial stability. If it is working for you, then that is all that counts.
 

samantha1979

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I don't think it is too long. I was engaged for 16 months. You have a date set. It doesn't matter how far away it is. It is better than "We aren't sure" or "someday". Take your time. Make it perfect. Gives you something to look forward to. Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!
 
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oscarsmommy

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Originally Posted by katachtig

It is unusual - but I admire the fact that the two of you have come to this agreement and are working toward financial stability. If it is working for you, then that is all that counts.
Thanks and I know it's a long time but I can't wait!

Originally Posted by Samantha1979

I don't think it is too long. I was engaged for 16 months. You have a date set. It doesn't matter how far away it is. It is better than "We aren't sure" or "someday". Take your time. Make it perfect. Gives you something to look forward to. Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!
Thank you! We have been engaged for 6 months already but we have more important things to get in order. We want to have the wedding we have always wanted. We don't want to jump into it. We live together already so we just have those darn money problems figured out.
 

jane_vernon

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Nope!

Aaron and I were engaged for 18 months before we got married!

Good on you for taking your time and getting the wedding that you want!
 

samantha1979

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Originally Posted by Oscarsmommy

Thank you! We have been engaged for 6 months already but we have more important things to get in order. We want to have the wedding we have always wanted. We don't want to jump into it. We live together already so we just have those darn money problems figured out.
Since you have so long, you can buy things that you need for the wedding a few at a time. That is what I did. For example, if you want to use white lights at your wedding, buy them at Christmas time... or right after when they are on sale. You can get a box of 100 for less than $1. If you buy "wedding lights" they are $10 a box for the same ones! Rip off! I went to craft stores to buy my veil, and stuff like that. I bought stuff the entire time we were engaged. Made a list of what I wanted in a tiny spiral that I kept in my purse, if I was out and saw something and had the money, I would buy it, mark it off, and put it in the "wedding rubbermaid bin".

I think it is silly when people rush into it. That's just me though. Those 16 months still snuck up on me! OOOooh, you have time to search the internet for great deals... ebay.... stuff like that. You have plenty of time to order stuff, and make sure you like it.

The only major problem we had was that it was difficult to book a site that far in advance. Most things wanted around a year to book. But hey, you can probably get any place you want... might not be booked that far in advance.

If you need or want any of my money-saving ideas, just let me know. We were very creative in our "medieval" themed wedding!
 

pami

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Originally Posted by Bella713

Courtney, you do whatever is right for the two of you, who really CARES what anyone else thinks...that is their problem if they have an issue with it
Ditto just give them a weird look back
 

dragoriana

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My aunt and uncle were engaged for a short time..actually they had a wedding very quickly overseas on their holiday around Canada/Alaska..and we didn't know. Mind you....they were bf/gf for about 16 years!! I already considered this lady my aunt since i was about 5 years old lol.


There is no set time, it's whatever you and your other half feels is right. Ignore the morons who say otherwise
 

arlyn

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J and I have been engaged since 2002 and we will remain engaged until we crawl our way out of the debt pit.

It's been a long hard road, but it will be well worth it in the end.

Funny thing is, no one has questioned us on it, possibly because we are (at least around here) rather old to be single and childless.
 

MoochNNoodles

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People and their opinions!


I personally could not wait to get married, but that was me. This is you and your fiancé. Do what is right for you 2!
 

natalie_ca

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For me personally I think expensive weddings are over rated. I think once you decide you want to get married and spend the rest of your lives together you should just do it! Book a church for the next possible available date, invite your friends and family and be done with it. I don't see a reason to spend thousands of dollars on one day. The important thing that day are your vows.
 

strange_wings

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DH and I were together as bf and gf for around 5 years before we got married. In the end we just had a judge marry us. Part of putting it off for so long was because I wanted DH's family to know for certain that there was no way I was going to have a ceremony in a church or with a minister.
The other part of waiting that long was just the usual doubts and worries, however it's better deal with those before instead after getting married.

So wait as long as you want, this is a very important decision to you and your fiancé. To heck with anyone else, they're not the ones getting married in the relationship.
And if it never happens or takes longer than you expected, who cares? Your expectations, values, and life are your own, and not for others to judge.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

For me personally I think expensive weddings are over rated.
You've got that right! The day should be about the couple and good memories... not huge bills later.
 

sarahp

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I'm sure people don't mean to sound horrible
2 years isn't that long to plan a wedding, it's probably that 2009 sounds like so far away!

I mean, what's the rush anyway?!?!
 

joanne511

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My DH and I were engaged for 1.5 years. It allowed us to save up some money and reserve the location we wanted (extremely popular during the summer), so it worked for us. Today is actually our anniversary.
You gotta do what you gotta do, so don't worry about everyone else!
 

swampwitch

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I've known people who got engaged and kept it that way, and happily never got married! I wouldn't give anyone a reason why you are waiting two years, just say that is what the two of you want. Really, your finances are nobody else's business.

Congratulations and best wishes!
 

green bunny

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Originally Posted by Oscarsmommy

Apparently 2 years is a long time to be engaged. Anytime anyone asks when the wedding is, I tell them Spring of 2009. I get this shocked reaction, kind of like "That's a long time!" sort of reaction. The tone of their response bothers me. We decided to push teh wedding back because of money problems and I know that people, when I explain that to them, want to respond by saying "Then you shouldn't be getting married." At least this is the way most people seem to react. I can tell by body language and facial expressions.

Anyways, does anyone else think that this is a long time to be engaged? I know that I think we're being responsible and taking our time. We want to be financially stable before joining our lives together.
Well, you shouldn't be getting married...until you are financially stable! So you are already doing that, so who cares what anybody else thinks! Do what you want and don't let anybody else make you second guess yourself. Besides, those 2 years will go so fast, at the end you'll probably still feel rushed!

Tricia
 

clairebear

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I don't think that thats too long. Its defintely better to wait until your financially stable before you tie the knot. What your doing is very responsible, I wouldn't let others opinions bother you.
 

laureen227

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i think it's a completely individual decision. these days, so many couples live together while engaged, the actual wedding is merely a formality.
now, on tv, i saw a woman who said she & her fiance had been engaged for 9 years. i thought that was kinda weird...
 

starryeyedtiger

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Ask them why they are asking.....it will embaress them and let them know that it's not polite to do something like that


besides, it's none of their business what you and your fiance do! the two of you have made a decision about what you feel is in ya'lls best interest. (i applaud you for that! many married couples even have issues doing that. if ya'll can make hard decisions like picking a date now- it just shows that you two can work together as a team to do what is best for your relationshpi
)
 
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