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Calling all parents...

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Hi guys- I've missed popping in here all the time like I used to. My life has been so busy, its hard to make time for anything.

I've got a problem I'd like to get off my chest and hopefully get some good input on as well.

My son started school this year and for the most part seems to like it. Hes gotten in trouble a few times for playing too rough on the playground and his dad and I sit him down and talk to him about it. We talk about manners, thinking before you speak and act, etc.

Anyways, lately hes been very emotional and hard to deal with at home and hasn't wanted to get up and go to school in the morning. I talked to him about it but couldn't get any real answers from him. So today I forgot to put a juice pack in his lunch so I drove down to the school to take it to him. I was just out side the door about to knock and heard his teacher yell at him to be quiet. Since the door had a window in it I saw her put her finger in his face, and yell. Now, this was when all the children were doing 'free play' and wandering from center to center, so it was noisy in there all around.

My son looked so miserable. When I finally did knock on the door he jumped up and ran to me and I could see tears in his eyes. Now, I'm not a hysterical mother who thinks her child can do no wrong, but I thought that her reaction to him was excessive, and judging by how flustered she looked when I walked in she knew it was wrong too.

My husband is very upset by this and wants to remove my son from her class. I have to meet with the Principal today and discuss it.

Do you think I'm overreacting? I don't think its a teachers place to yell at my child.
post #2 of 13
This comes from a teacher, not a parent. I often have to reprimand my students. When I am reprimanding an entire class, I sometimes have to raise my voice.

With an individual student, I try my best to go to them and speak in a firm voice. I don't yeel in someone's face, and I certainly don't put my finger in their face. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try to be a non-confrontational as possible when dealing with my students.

It does sound like this teacher overreacted. You said your son just started school, so I assume he is in kindergarten. Do you think the teacher has decided he is a troublemaker since he had a few problems earlier this year? It happens sometimes. I hope you can work things out so your son likes school and has a good year.
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thats exactly what came to mind actually- that he has been labelled a 'bad kid'. I'm very upset about this whole thing- my heart is breaking for my little boy wondering if hes been dealing with this all along.

What are the options for me as a parent if I discover she HAS been treating him this way for a while now? Can she be suspended based on what little I saw and my sons account of whats gone on?

I know I may be jumping the gun a little here, but I've notice he has been unusually emotional and sensitive lately and want to get to the bottom of it.
post #4 of 13
I would go straight to the principals office, and tell her what is going on. I would also request a meeting w/ the teacher to figure out what is going on.

I want to address the issue of your son having emotional issues and behavioural issues as well. Most schools have as school psychologist that can be a real blessing. I know several people that use the school councelors for issues the child may be dealing with. Perhaps there is something else going on that you are unaware of, and that they'd be able to uncover for you. You said he's misbehaving a little, and that is probably correctable if you nip it in the bud right away.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you and your child.
post #5 of 13
Melissa, Daniela's suggestion for the school couselor is a good one. Does your son get into trouble during class time, too? Or just on the playground?

Sometimes kids have trouble making transitions to new activities during class. the solution can be as simple as having the teacher say to your son, "In 5 minutes, we will finish with free time and move on to reading." Giving him advance notice can be helpful.

I would also ask to meet with the teacher. She has to know your concerns about your son's emotional state. Maybe someone is picking on him, and he is afraid to say anything.

One last bit of advice, don't let him get a label unless you know for a fact he is ADD or whatever. Not saying he is, but sometimes teachers and counselors want to categorize students. It is really hard to leave those labels behind.

Your involvement in his education will really be helpful. Don't be afraid to ask for meetings. Most teachers appreciate it.
post #6 of 13
When my partner was a child he suffered from A.D.D. But back in the early 70's they just labelled him a "bad kid". He eventually got the attention he needed, but not without a fight.

Today, the educational professionals are much more aware of behavioural and other disorders. I would make a meeting with the principal and teacher to figure out what was going on. You should do this soon in case the teacher is on a "power trip" or labelling your child.

As Daniela stated, a trip to the school psychologist will give you much more information on what is truely going.
post #7 of 13
Melissa, how did the meeting with the principal go? I hope it got a few things sorted out. How's your son doing?
post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 
The meeting went well, I got things off my chest and his teacher was very agreeable and willing to hear me out.

I told her the last thing I wanted was for him to start hating school because he was getting yelled at in class and she agreed with me. She said the normal 'punishment' is time out and I told her that I had no problem with that but the yelling I did have a problem with. She and the principal think that since Reid was barely 5 when he started school this year that he may not be fully emotionally ready for coping with some situations that come up there. They said it wasn't severe enough to remove him from school, especially since hes doing so well acedmeically.

So basically the plan is to try time out measures with him and take privleges away. If this fails to work and hes still acting up in a few months we'll talk about getting some intervention with a school counsellor to see if we can work through his 'shortcomings' in social situations.

Thanks for listening to me, I appreciate having all your advice and concern
post #9 of 13
I am glad that your meeting went well! I hope that things improve for your son at school!
post #10 of 13
I fought tooth and nail with a teacher that refused to treat my son with respect. Not that my child is an angel... she was rude to the students and verbally abusive as well. I talked to the principal and she felt that if she let every kid who wanted out of the class leave there would be no one left in the class, besides the other classes were full. When the school held teacher appreciation day I got a message saying this teacher had no thank you cards from any parent and would we please send something.
Please go back again and again until you feel that your son is being treated the way he deserves. If at all possible sit in a day or two a week as a helper. It may help in many ways!
post #11 of 13
Glad to hear that your meeting went well. I would do as DragonLady suggested and stop in again though.

That is very true about his age. My son is one of the youngest in his class ( he is in first grade and just turned 6), while most of his classmates are already turning 7. He tends to be a bit behind in certain things, especially emotional things. My son is the first to shed a tear in his class!! He was the same way in kgarten, not behind enough to warrant him waiting another year, but definitly more immature than some of the other kids. Now in first grade he has caught up quite a bit, but he still tends to be a little lagging at times. I just deal w/ it, and stay in close touch w/ his teacher.

Don't worry, he'll mature with time. And hopefully things will go more smoothly for him with his teacher.
post #12 of 13
I'm also glad to hear the meeting went well. maybe this teacher will think twice before yelling at him again. I do agree it is a good idea to drop in unannounced from time to time just to check up on the situation.
post #13 of 13
DragonLady's idea is a very good one. My daughter had a teacher that was as much as I hate to call any one this, a racist **tch. She treated my daughter, and all the other kids not of her own race, terribly. For some reason she particularly targeted my daughter. I found this out through her classmates. We went through it with her the first year, and since I know my kid is no angel, I just tried to encourage her and help her as much as I could. Her grades were pretty good in every other subject, and I could not understand why History was such a big deal. I found out later that no kid not of this teacher's race got good grades, no matter if they had straight A's in every other subject. She refused to use the standard texts, and taught only the history pertaining to her race. This teacher left that school and went to the high school and my daughter got her again! She started cutting school, acting out, fighting, I was at my wit's end! I took her to a psychologist that said she just could not face another year with this teacher. We had to pull her out of that school and send her to live with my sister so she could go to school, but the damage was done. She finally quit. After a couple years, she went to Adult Ed and finished, but it was a rough couple of years. I wish I could have done something, but no one was allowed on school property without permission, and they would not give permission to any parent to come on to school property to confer with or about this teacher. Several of us went to the school board about her, and were labelled racists ourselves. A psychologically unbalanced student finally snapped and threw this woman out of a second story window! Teachers can cause all kinds of harm to children if left unchecked. Most are good, caring people with a thankless job, and deserve much more in salary and appreciation than they get. One bad apple can really do a lot of harm.
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