said he would be on the next bus at 8 something, it's 12am

ladycat

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I guess the bf has something better to do then come home, he does this occationally. there is just no common sence in the boy's head....yes boy (at 28, and I hear it never changes...oh boy). it's just getting old. yeh it was gonna be our day tomorrow.... I could have made plans being the 4th & all....
 

tink80

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sorry, not sure what to say...it's none of my business but maybe you should take away the pleasure of your company if he can't cherish it...just my opinion. not all men are like this, trust me...i say u enjoy yourself on your own even if it means a quiet day of pampering at home...sometimes there are benefits of being able to do things alone that you can't do in front of anyone else comfortably...*hugs*
 
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ladycat

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well that would sounds like a plan but we were suppose to see my aunt to say goodbye as she is moving to FL this week. I'm not even sure how to get there now. I'm so awake on top of it....
 

dixie_darlin

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Originally Posted by ladycat

well that would sounds like a plan but we were suppose to see my aunt to say goodbye as she is moving to FL this week. I'm not even sure how to get there now. I'm so awake on top of it....
Anxiety is probably keeping you awake... Is there anyway you can call him? Find out if he's ok?


Sorry this is happening
 
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ladycat

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I know he is fine and where he is...he probly decided to drink...and passed out... the few occasions he does drink he usually passes out at his friends...I hate calling his friend's house and at this late
 

natalie_ca

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Sounds like you are dating one of my ex's!!!!

I found over the years and through experiences that you set the tone about how people treat you. If you are available all of the time, there is no incentive and people tend to take you for granted
because they know you will be there when they are ready. That's particularly true with guys.

I remember my former jerk fiance would do stuff like you describe. He would tell me he would be over at a specific time and then not show up, even if he knew I was making dinner for him. Other times he would need to make a stop while we were out and tell me he would only be a few minutes, only to find myself sitting in the car for 3 hours!!!! Not knowing where in the building he was, no access to a telephone, and in an area of town that I wasn't familiar with.

One day I remember him dropping me off at work at 5:15am. I worked in an industrial park that had very limited bus service and I started before the buses ran to the area. Before I got out of the car he asked if I had any money on me because he needed to stop for gas. I told him I only had a few dollars on me and that I needed it for lunch and bus fare to get home. He said he would pick me up after I finished work at 1:30pm. So I gave him all of the money that I had on me ($5.00) trusting that he would pick me up as promised.

After work I waited for him and he didn't show up. One hour later I was still waiting. Buses were running in the area but I didn't have any money for bus fare. I tried calling him at home but there was no answer! Finally I started to walk home. It was July and really hot outside and it was miles and miles to my home. It took me over 3 hours to walk home. I was hot, tired, my feet were blistered because I wasn't in walking shoes, and I probably had sun stroke from the way I was feeling. I got home and found the "A" sound asleep! I could have murdered him. I did give him a good kick in the butt to wake him up and I reamed him out.

Don't make yourself so available. Sometimes when he wants to get together, be "busy" and tell him "another time". Then don't answer your phone if he calls. By being available whenever he wants to see you, you are setting yourself up to be abused and neglected because he knows he can and you will still be there for him.
 

adymarie

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Sorry he did that to you. I hope that you can still salvage your July 4th and enjoy it without him.
 

lunasmom

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Oh that stinks. True once men hit the age of 14 they seem to stop mentally maturing, but in different ways. If this is something that you don't like, then there needs to be some changes within the relationship whether its sitting down and talking with him (maturely) about it or, well, moving on.

Hope he's made it safely home.
 
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ladycat

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the whole unavailable thing doesn't really work, we live together and have for 6 years. yikes Natalie , john's not that bad....things just don't register in his head, no common sence up stairs. I don't even want to get into that
 

katkisses

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Originally Posted by lunasmom

True once men hit the age of 14 they seem to stop mentally maturin
LOL!LOL!LOL! Sorry, I was starting to read the whole thread-but when I got to this, I just had to comment! LOL! I think you just made a scientific breakthrough!!!
 
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ladycat

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well I got in touch with him the next day...
 

jenny1124

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I don't really know what to say. I think he isn't taking your feelings into consideration.

My husband calls me every time he is going to be late, just real quick "I'm gonna be late, don't worry". He lets me know where he's going if he goes out so I don't worry and gives me a rough estimate of when he might be home, but he does go out as much as he wants to and that's totally fine with me, as long as I am not sitting at home worried about him
 

cococat

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I found over the years and through experiences that you set the tone about how people treat you.
This is very true. Some will walk all over you if you let them. No, that isn't right, and they shouldn't be like that, but it is reality.

So unless something is done to show him it is not okay at all, it will keep happening for as long as you let it & you will have to worry about him, which isn't nice of him to do to someone he cares about when a simple phone call could ease your mind and it easier for him to do rather than you having to track him down. It is just respect. It is kind of like enabling, they get into a pattern simply because they can. You said it is getting old, I would imagine so, hugs to you!


28 is really old for that type of stuff IMO, don't make an excuse for him since he is male. I know many males in relationships that call their significant others for things like that and are mature in their 20's. People are people regardless of gender, we are all human.

Sorry you had to worry!
 

goldenkitty45

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And you are still with him for what reason? If he does this kind of thing more then once or twice, I'd question as to why you are still with him. Seems he doesn't have a lot of respect for you if he pulls this cr*p.
 

yosemite

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There is no age limit or gender for common courtesy. He will continue to treat you like this as long as you allow it because he obviously does not respect you. If he had any respect for you he would have at least called. You may not want to accept this but believe me it's true and you can do better than that.
 

trouts mom

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

There is no age limit or gender for common courtesy. He will continue to treat you like this as long as you allow it because he obviously does not respect you. If he had any respect for you he would have at least called. You may not want to accept this but believe me it's true and you can do better than that.
I tend to agree here.

He is 28 years old and is doing this? He definately hasn't grown up and sounds like he doesn't care to
 

sarahp

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My hubby used to be like that. He's not a bad person at all, he'd just get so caught up (usually with work), that he'd forget to call and let me know what was going on, and just wouldn't think about the fact that I was at home wondering if he'd been in a car accident on the way home, or just working late. Drove me nuts.

He's better now, but mainly because I'm driving him to and from work
But if he rides his bike and is a bit later than I expect, I just call him. I don't care if he thinks I'm nagging, if I'm cooking dinner, I need to know when to plan it for - I don't want to eat late!
 
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ladycat

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Originally Posted by sarahp

My hubby used to be like that. He's not a bad person at all, he'd just get so caught up (usually with work), that he'd forget to call and let me know what was going on, and just wouldn't think about the fact that I was at home wondering if he'd been in a car accident on the way home, or just working late. Drove me nuts.

He's better now, but mainly because I'm driving him to and from work
But if he rides his bike and is a bit later than I expect, I just call him. I don't care if he thinks I'm nagging, if I'm cooking dinner, I need to know when to plan it for - I don't want to eat late!
I appreciate your response, john is a good guy and his much better then he use to be with things like that. Even if I more or less know he is safe...there is still that possibility in the back of my head that something has happen.
 

starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by ladycat

well I got in touch with him the next day...
he didn't come home at all until the next day??
i would have been furious. did he have a valid excuse? (imo there's no excuse for things like that- especially if ya'll live together). i do hope ya'll are able to talk about this and sort things through- you don't deserve to be treated like that
 
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