I see threads like this as the kind of huge, caring family I always wanted
Like cousins, aunts, mothers, fathers who want the best for us. I have the large family, but not so many people caring.
When those who respond come across as heated or extremely concerned, it is because they have lived with it and that is the kind of pain no one forgets. All the memories self-doubt and insecurity comes through.
I truly stink at relationships - only ever seemed to choose men who would cheat and lie, and/or refused to value me as a human. So, I don't date any longer.
I do know the feeling of waiting for them to come home, worrying, calling hospitals, friends, family ... anything to confirm they were okay. The smell of booze as they finally stumbled in with lame excuses, smelling of perfume. Finding little love notes that weren't from me, mysterious friends calling who need to be seen right away, odd weekend getaways with the "boys". All the apologies and then verbal abuse when I wasn't buying it. God, sounds like a country song! My mother dated men much worse than I did, so I suppose I thought I was doing better.
So, I have no advice on relationships. I do appreciate the agony others go through when dealing with these issues.
to you and remember, life is short and it can be lived without all the drama and stress.You are a good person (you love cats!) and deserve to be treated well by the people in your life.