I need someone to talk to

cococat

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Originally Posted by april31

Thats good to know.

I guess there is somethings i just havent delt with.
I hope you call!
 

cococat

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Originally Posted by lunasmom

If it helps to know too the therapists that I have known personally are just as crazy as we can be.
This is very true, everyone is human, people are people first - regardless of profession!
 

bonnie1965

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April, if it helps, just imagine us there with you while you make the call. I have been where you are and believe me, there is light on the other side


I have had a couple of awesome counselors and one that was completely worthless. I need to send a copy of my college degree to the last one I saw. She was the one person in my life to encourage me to dream bigger than I ever thought I could. Without her, I wouldn't have done it.

Another woman I saw just twice through the EAP at work. She was fantastic! So caring and kind. It has been 10 years but I still remember a few of the things she said.

Mind you, I never sought help (its considered a weakness in my family) until I was at the very bottom of my emotional barrel. So, when I did start to talk, I cried. For the entire appointment. Every time. I felt like a fool but the good therapists completely understand. There is a reason there is a box or two of tissues in their offices
They always laid in fresh stock for me.

There are many, many people who seek counseling/therapy for one reason or the other. Even therapists go to counseling. What helped me keep from feeling like the odd, crazy woman was when I finally realized every single person I see has issues. Every clerk, every bus driver, every business person, everyone.

You can do this. One baby step at a time. Make the call, then decide what you will do after that.

 

diego

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Originally Posted by babyharley

I work in a Counseling Clinic, and we work with EAPs daily and we aren't unprofessional at all.
I just meant that some can be, my company was paying my wage even though I wasn't at work because I was seeing a therapist, they were also covering the bill per 1hr session. So I felt it wasn't fair on my employer, that they're paying for an hour session when all I got was 45mins coz he spent 15mins on the phone. I guess IMO the professional thing to do, would have been to tell me before the session that he is expecting a call and is it ok if he answers it. Then I could have told him to reschedule or appt.

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Ah, my friend, I had the same thought at one time. In my 20s, I got diagnosed with depression/anxiety, and they told me they wanted me to do daily medication and weekly therapy with a counselor. I resisted, explaining that I knew what was behind my problems and didn't need therapy -- just give me the meds and I'll be fine, I told them. But they wouldn't.
Number 5 therapist worked a bit different. She didn't go into the childhood thing, like the other 4. I knew what got me to the state I was in, and I know I hadn't experienced anything similar in my childhood. One thing that made it hard for me was having a bunch of therapist looking at me like "whats wrong with you" during their careers, what I was going through was usually only associated with women. But the lovely woman therapist actually turned out to be a specialist in that area and said that it is quite common in men as well, even gave me some reading materials.

The meds thing is quite interesting though, I was prescribed some but never had the script filled. I felt that their idea was just to dope me up on anti depressants and talk about my childhood. Some therapists want to prescribe meds even before you start your session, I find that somewhat odd.

I hope you can make sense of all that. Basically it can just be trial and error finding the right one even after researching them. Oh and I'm not against therapists, they can literally save a persons life.

I wish you all the best April31. I hope you can find an excellent therapist 1st time round.
 

kluchetta

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Originally Posted by april31

I just need to get the guts to pick up the phone.
I had the same problem a while back. OK, well, it was a "physical" problem, in that I was afraid to go to the doctor because of pain I was having in my hip. So here's what helped me:

1) What is the WORST thing that could happen?
(me - Dr. says there's nothing wrong with you)
(you - Dr. says you're crazy)

2) Honestly, do you really think the Dr. would say that?
(me - no - I KNEW something was really wrong)
(you - OK, you've been there before - you know they don't use that terminology.
)

3) Why wouldn't you want to get the doctor's opinion>
(me - worst outcome - operation - no skiing, no horseback riding, etc.)
(you - ??)

4) Oh yeah. I can't do those things anyway. What kind of life is that?

Please call. And let us know.


PS - I got a hip replacement 8 weeks ago at the age of 44. I feel FANTASTIC. Better than in at LEAST 10 years!
 

calico2222

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Honey, believe me you are NOT crazy. Life gets overwhelming sometimes, and there's nothing wrong with seeking help from a third party. Sometimes it takes talking to a person that isn't involved to figure out what is at the root of the problem. I'm bad for self analysis...but that usually ends up in a downward spiral and I end up not wanting to get out of bed for days.

I hate picking up the phone and making an appointment too. Heck, my husband had to make a dentist appointment for me for next week...left up to me I would just deal with the pain. So, I have an idea how scary it is for you to actually make the appointment. But, it will be for the best. Good luck
 
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april31

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You all are wonderfull thank you. Today im feeling a little better and still looking through the phone book.

I tried to talk to my hubby last night and i told him I think i needed to see someone he asked me why. Well his exact words are why do you need medication? I said no I need someone to talk to. He told me well why not just talk to me.

I have tried to talk to him but he isnt easy. I know hes feeling threatned by the thought of me talking wiht someone. Our relationship can be rocky at times. And his drinking dont help.

What do you say when you call just that you need a appointment? What if they tell me they can see me for a few weeks? I am not sure if I can wait that long.
 

bonnie1965

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Originally Posted by april31

What do you say when you call just that you need a appointment? What if they tell me they can see me for a few weeks? I am not sure if I can wait that long.
If they say it will be a few weeks, simply tell them you don't feel you can wait that long and ask if they can recommend someone who has an opening. I've never had anyone say that it would be weeks for an appointment. I believe most will understand that by the time people call, they don't want to wait a long time.
 
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april31

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Ok well I got te first part done and called insurance. We are covered for 52 visits a year. So now hte next part.
 

bonnie1965

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Originally Posted by april31

Ok well I got te first part done and called insurance. We are covered for 52 visits a year. So now hte next part.
Good job! 52 visits is pretty good with insurance.
 

trixie23

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When I called I just said that I was interested in seeing doctor so and so. They dont pry that much over the telephone, they are plesant and look for openings. It isnt their job or business to make an analysis over the phone as to whether you need one or deserve one... Just make the call, it is really simple (the phone process). Heck when my bf and I were rocky and broke up (I mean we are always rocky
) I made him go see his own and I went to see my own (this lasted a short period of time but it was worth it)... Somtimes talking to just your partner is not enough... In some cases one may feel their partner is judging them, taking offense, not hearing you correctly, missing the point, etc.... Sometimes it is better to have an outsider look in because they have no emotional attachment, they are able to see things more clearly.

Your man should understand this and support your decision, it isnt as if you are shutting him out, but you are dealing with your own personal issues in a non-judgemental and un-emotionally attached environment... One who will listen while you talk and analyze and suggest your options for growth. It is hard for a partner to do all of these things, for in most cases they are not professionals. Heck some things you just may not feel like sharing with your S.O.
 

trixie23

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Wow 52 visits... That is amazing, get on it girl
Here is to happy healing
... Im glad that you are going to do this for yourself... Best of luck!
 
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april31

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Thank you im gonna make a few calls now.
 

babyharley

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Originally Posted by april31

Thank you im gonna make a few calls now.
The longer you wait to call, the longer your going to have to wait


I would call asap to get an appointment. When you call, just say that your interesting in speaking with a counseler regarding life issues. They won't ask you anymore than that, or shouldn't. Specify if you would like to see a male or female counseler, because they might not ask if it matters, but we do here anyways.

Maybe give them a little background on what your needing, then they can set you up with the right Therapist.

Remember, I'm just a PM away, I have a lot of info so I'm always here!
 

trixie23

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We are all just a pm away. I have seen many therapists in my life (due to unfortunate events) and some I liked and some I didnt.... If you feel that whoever you go with isnt meeting your needs, dont dawdle and find someone else... Just a little tip of advise!
 
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april31

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Well I made 1 call they cant get me in until july 12 why do I feel like thats so far away. So now I dont know what to do If i should wait untill then or try to find something sooner. I would just like to be able to sleep.
 

babyharley

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Originally Posted by april31

Well I made 1 call they cant get me in until july 12 why do I feel like thats so far away. So now I dont know what to do If i should wait untill then or try to find something sooner. I would just like to be able to sleep.
Thats pretty common, I know a lot of therapists have weekly schedules with weekly clients, thats why its best to call soon. I suppose with the Holiday this week as well, things get messed up.
If you feel thats too far, try calling another Clnic to see if they have any openings.
 

trixie23

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That isnt too bad (well considering the average wait)... I always make an appointment and then call around to see if I can get in sooner (had to do that with my eye appointment), if I find something available sooner I cancel the other appointment immediately...
 

sarahp

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July 12 is next week, you might as well take that appointment, and ring around, so at least if there's nothing sooner you can keep that one, and if you find someone who can squeeze you in earlier, than just cancel the other one.

Remember it's a holiday tomorrow so all of the Wednesday patients may be getting squeezed into other slots for the rest of the week and early next week. Good luck
 
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april31

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Yeah im keeping it and just gonna take it day by day. It took me about 20 times of starting to dial the number and hanging up im not sure i want to go through that again. It just seems like its a long ways away when im feeling like this.
 
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