- Joined
- Mar 1, 2005
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- 2,568
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I've been having a pretty rough week emotionally. I think I could use some hugs.
Tuesday was my birthday. Aside from reminding me of the fact that I'm getting old, it really showed how little people care about me.
On that day, I got a lot of birthday wishes from people on TCS (thanks!!
) but aside from that, I got an email from my best friend and a phone call from my parents. That was it.
I didn't plan anything for my birthday (I don't see who I could have invited anyways) but I was still hoping for something to happen. Anything. At least I thought I could take myself out for a piece of cake, but it was so hot and humid, I didn't want to move and I just ended up lying in bed all evening feeling depressed.
Then Friday I went to the doctor for a follow-up on my ongoing anxiety problems. First I saw the nurse and she was wonderful. She was really listening and seemed to really care about what I was going through. I had to fight back tears going out of her office because I was so touched. But then the doctor was... well... a typical doctor. She was annoyed when I told her I stopped taking my medication (it was to help me sleep, and to take "as needed" and I had been sleeping alright). Then she just figured out another medication to give me and didn't really listen to what I was saying. She pretty much dismissed physical symptoms I was complaining about as being automatically caused by anxiety.
I still need help for my anxiety, but I realize now that doctors are pretty useless.
Now this weekend my parents wanted the family to get together to celebrate my birthday. By now, I really don't feel like celebrating and I'd rather forget the whole thing.
I don't get along all that great with my family (we have a polite, almost formal relationship... but I don't feel close to them). We have been getting together twice in the last three weekends, and that's more than enough for me. But I wasn't given a choice.
My parents call me on Saturday to ask me if I want to get together on Sunday or Monday. I said I didn't care. She calls me back 10 minutes later to announce to me that my younger brother was going to the zoo with his kids on Monday, so that's what we'll do.
I have nothing against going to the zoo per se... but I'm really annoyed to have things planned for me. Seems like my birthday has more to do with what my parents want than with what I want.
But then again, if I told them I don't really want anything, they wouldn't understand.
To add to all this, there's this guy I've been seeing for the last few weeks. I was hoping to see him this weekend, but yesterday he was busy, so he said we'd get together tonight. Well, it's 9:30 and I haven't even heard from him. I really could have used someone to talk to tonight.
I know those aren't big problems, but when you have a tendency towards depression and anxiety, all these little things really add up.
Tuesday was my birthday. Aside from reminding me of the fact that I'm getting old, it really showed how little people care about me.
On that day, I got a lot of birthday wishes from people on TCS (thanks!!
I didn't plan anything for my birthday (I don't see who I could have invited anyways) but I was still hoping for something to happen. Anything. At least I thought I could take myself out for a piece of cake, but it was so hot and humid, I didn't want to move and I just ended up lying in bed all evening feeling depressed.
Then Friday I went to the doctor for a follow-up on my ongoing anxiety problems. First I saw the nurse and she was wonderful. She was really listening and seemed to really care about what I was going through. I had to fight back tears going out of her office because I was so touched. But then the doctor was... well... a typical doctor. She was annoyed when I told her I stopped taking my medication (it was to help me sleep, and to take "as needed" and I had been sleeping alright). Then she just figured out another medication to give me and didn't really listen to what I was saying. She pretty much dismissed physical symptoms I was complaining about as being automatically caused by anxiety.
I still need help for my anxiety, but I realize now that doctors are pretty useless.
Now this weekend my parents wanted the family to get together to celebrate my birthday. By now, I really don't feel like celebrating and I'd rather forget the whole thing.
I don't get along all that great with my family (we have a polite, almost formal relationship... but I don't feel close to them). We have been getting together twice in the last three weekends, and that's more than enough for me. But I wasn't given a choice.
My parents call me on Saturday to ask me if I want to get together on Sunday or Monday. I said I didn't care. She calls me back 10 minutes later to announce to me that my younger brother was going to the zoo with his kids on Monday, so that's what we'll do.
I have nothing against going to the zoo per se... but I'm really annoyed to have things planned for me. Seems like my birthday has more to do with what my parents want than with what I want.
To add to all this, there's this guy I've been seeing for the last few weeks. I was hoping to see him this weekend, but yesterday he was busy, so he said we'd get together tonight. Well, it's 9:30 and I haven't even heard from him. I really could have used someone to talk to tonight.
I know those aren't big problems, but when you have a tendency towards depression and anxiety, all these little things really add up.