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Feelin' down.

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I've been having a pretty rough week emotionally. I think I could use some hugs.

Tuesday was my birthday. Aside from reminding me of the fact that I'm getting old, it really showed how little people care about me.
On that day, I got a lot of birthday wishes from people on TCS (thanks!! ) but aside from that, I got an email from my best friend and a phone call from my parents. That was it.
I didn't plan anything for my birthday (I don't see who I could have invited anyways) but I was still hoping for something to happen. Anything. At least I thought I could take myself out for a piece of cake, but it was so hot and humid, I didn't want to move and I just ended up lying in bed all evening feeling depressed.

Then Friday I went to the doctor for a follow-up on my ongoing anxiety problems. First I saw the nurse and she was wonderful. She was really listening and seemed to really care about what I was going through. I had to fight back tears going out of her office because I was so touched. But then the doctor was... well... a typical doctor. She was annoyed when I told her I stopped taking my medication (it was to help me sleep, and to take "as needed" and I had been sleeping alright). Then she just figured out another medication to give me and didn't really listen to what I was saying. She pretty much dismissed physical symptoms I was complaining about as being automatically caused by anxiety.
I still need help for my anxiety, but I realize now that doctors are pretty useless.

Now this weekend my parents wanted the family to get together to celebrate my birthday. By now, I really don't feel like celebrating and I'd rather forget the whole thing.
I don't get along all that great with my family (we have a polite, almost formal relationship... but I don't feel close to them). We have been getting together twice in the last three weekends, and that's more than enough for me. But I wasn't given a choice.
My parents call me on Saturday to ask me if I want to get together on Sunday or Monday. I said I didn't care. She calls me back 10 minutes later to announce to me that my younger brother was going to the zoo with his kids on Monday, so that's what we'll do.
I have nothing against going to the zoo per se... but I'm really annoyed to have things planned for me. Seems like my birthday has more to do with what my parents want than with what I want. But then again, if I told them I don't really want anything, they wouldn't understand.

To add to all this, there's this guy I've been seeing for the last few weeks. I was hoping to see him this weekend, but yesterday he was busy, so he said we'd get together tonight. Well, it's 9:30 and I haven't even heard from him. I really could have used someone to talk to tonight.

I know those aren't big problems, but when you have a tendency towards depression and anxiety, all these little things really add up.

post #2 of 17
hang in there - what you're feeling is temporary and we will help you work through it. Take a deep breath and give yourself a hug from all of us. I know you don't feel like doing anything, but go with your family and find something to enjoy about it (ice cream, the cute animals, etc). This helps you to focus on something else.

Before you go to sleep tonight, think of three things that you are thankful for. Then have sweet dreams.
post #3 of 17
i know what ya mean about feelin down. im going through divorce, and its starting to get to me, so im having a nice glass of wine to calm my nerves. ((((((hugs))))))).
post #4 of 17
Many hugs for you, Wormy. Come hang out with us more, we'll cheer you up.
post #5 of 17
Hugs, we have plenty of

hang in there and worry about you not others. If you don't feel like going to the zoo, because it is not your thing, don't go, but do find something you want to do rather than staying home.

As I said before, if you need to talk, PM me!
post #6 of 17
Awwww Marie, it sucks to feel like that

I hope you feel better soon
post #7 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
hang in there - what you're feeling is temporary and we will help you work through it. Take a deep breath and give yourself a hug from all of us. I know you don't feel like doing anything, but go with your family and find something to enjoy about it (ice cream, the cute animals, etc). This helps you to focus on something else.

Before you go to sleep tonight, think of three things that you are thankful for. Then have sweet dreams.
I totally agree with this. Hang in there. Don't feel bad. I get depressed a lot because I don't have anyone, haven't really ever dated, and will always feel like I will be alone. I have social anxiety and think that is what hinders my going out and meeting new people. I don't even have siblings to depend on.
I can understand totally about how those little things do add up, because they do. But in time, it will go by, and things will hopefully improve.
You will always have us here on TCS to depend on. Don't ever be afraid to feel like there is no one who will be there to listen to you. If you need anything you can PM me.

Sabrina
post #8 of 17
Consider yourself hugged by me; it sucks to be ignored on your special day and I hope you catch all the hugs and love everyone here is sending your way! Remember, you are a beautiful person and give yourself a great big hug from yourself, to the little girl inside you!

Helene
post #9 of 17
Gosh it really sucks when people don't listen to what you are saying.
Try to have a good time on Monday (let them buy everything) and hey if you see a crazy stuffed animal make your parents buy it for you!!
Sending you virtual hugs from myself and my herd.
Take care of yourself.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
I haven't finished reading all the replies yet. Too many tears in my eyes. Aside from crying from depression, I have tears in my eyes from all the support and kindness I find on this site.

Thank you.
post #11 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
I haven't finished reading all the replies yet. Too many tears in my eyes. Aside from crying from depression, I have tears in my eyes from all the support and kindness I find on this site.

Thank you.
Let yourself have a good cry. It can be therapeutic.
post #12 of 17
I'm sorry I can say or do anything to make everything okay right now. I know that, as much as you may not believe it at the moment, things will get better soon.

P.S. Yes, a lot of doctors are no good. The more I have to deal with them, the more I realize how you need to do all sorts of research on your own, and pretty much go in and tell them what's wrong and what you want done about it.
post #13 of 17
I hope you have fun on Monday. I know how you feel about having things planned for you, it really stinks.
I got so sick of my inlaws during one of those little fiascos that I purposely knocked over a glass of water so I could get wet and leave. The really good part was glancing back and seeing my MIL with a shocked look on her face as the cold water ran down the side of the tablecloth and in to her shoes.
It almost made it worth going for a little while.
Seriously, though, I hope you can get a least a small measure of joy from this outing, please let us know how it went.
post #14 of 17
Oh honey, I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I know Birthdays always put me in a funk, but I know you have more going on than just your b-day. Like so many people have said, you WILL get through this bad patch and it will get better. I would say, enjoy the zoo...ignore your family if you want to (it's "your" b-day present right?) and just enjoy the animals. Or, if you don't want to go, then don't. But, make sure you do something YOU want to do as present to yourself. Because it sounds like you need to do something you enjoy, even if it's just buying a book that you've been wanting to read, or renting a video. Something for you. You deserve it.

As for doctor's, I would suggest trying to find someone who listens to you. Can you get a referral to someone else? Maybe ask the nurse that actually listened to you who she recommends.

We're here for you.
post #15 of 17
I so understand. Holidays make these feelings even worse than usual, and birthdays are the worst of all.

From my own experience, I've concluded that parents just have no idea how to help... they may want to, but even if they understand that something is wrong beyond a simple "bad mood," they still don't know what to do about it. And often, that makes them afraid to do anything, for fear of doing the wrong thing.

I imagine your parents were doing what they thought was right... and when they heard about the zoo trip, they probably thought that would be more likely to lift your spirits than an ordinary dinner out at a restaurant with the waiters singing you Happy Birthday. And maybe it will be, if you go! I know I sometimes have to force myself to shake off the inertia and do something that doesn't seem appealing... and later, I'm always glad I did. Maybe it will be that way for you, too.

Y'know what else helps sometimes? Fakin' it. When I'm really deep down in a hole, the best thing I can do is force myself to go out in the world and smile at strangers, open doors for people, help out little old ladies at the grocery store! It sounds silly, but after I make a few people smile, I start to feel better myself.

I hope your family birthday is so happy it shocks you! But even if it isn't... I hope you follow some of the good advice above and find real help. You don't have to feel this way, I promise... there are solutions.
post #16 of 17
Guess what? You have just found another friend who suffers from anxiety and depression. Feel free to message me anytime if you would like to talk... hang in there hun...*hugs*
post #17 of 17
Sounds like you need a big hug!! I'm only a pm away gorgeous!
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