You know, I must not be because even though I'm going to look at other cats tomorrow (very excited to me going too - man, the things that excite me) I'm still holding out that things will turn around with these two in time. I ordered the Feliway diffuser from Amazon and just got an e-mail today that it's been shipped, so I'm gonna see what that does. I talked to a vet that has expertise in animal behavior and she said I should re-introduce them by keeping her in a separate room when I'm away and in a large cage (like they have for big dogs) when I'm home so she's around us but Pumpkin can feel more comfortable and she can realize that this was his house first and she can't be chasing him away. I haven't done this yet because I feel so bad confining her since she's already had full run of the house and seems so happy on the screen porch where she spends 90% of her time. I'm such a wuse (? sp).
After the initial 3 days of hissing they were fine for about 5 days before this chasing started, so I think she's starting to actually feel like this is home and wants to lay claim to some of it. She only seems to chase him on the screen porch (usually when he's scratching on his cardboard scratcher - a behavior that I read can be dominance related and perhaps she sees it that way and is challenging his dominance or when he smells around the kitty condo and bed that's on the other side of the screen porch from his) and when he's in the great room. Interestingly, when I'm in my bedroom with him or in my study, she will barely come in the rooms going as far as to sit at the door and meow at me to come out and scratching on the door jams. This morning when I'd let Pumpkin out for a couple minutes and was in my bedroom getting dressed she came in and hung out with me. It's like she doesn't want to be around him and has claimed the screen porch (except his bed where I've never seen her bother him) and the great room as her own but she's giving him the bedroom and study). Because the great room is a common area and kinda hard for Pumpkin to avoid, this really isn't a workable division of territory. I've even called on divine intervention praying that this will pass and they'll get along peacefully eventually. I've also considered whether her age may be a factor and she'll get better as she gets older. Her record says she's 2 1/2 but the vet thinks she's probably only 18 months. I'm trying to calm my own nerves about this thing because I'm aware that some of the problem is that it bothers ME so much and maybe a change in perspective on my part may make a difference.
Now, I've also considered the possibility that Pumpkin's not completely innocent. I don't know what he does when I'm not around, and maybe he has harrassed her at times. He does like to follow her (although I can tell he's starting to get over it) so maybe he's been doing that and she sees it as aggressive on his part. Whenever I've seen him do this it totally looks like he's being friendly and he never hisses (I've only heard Pumpkin hiss once in 7 years) or hits at her.
If only I could just talk to her and tell her to stop and have her understand (and obey).
These cats sure are something.
And, sorry this is so long. I'm so verbose!