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12 Rules of Life

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Sometimes we just need to Remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are...

1. Never Give Yourself a Haircut After Three Margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -- believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living Well Really is The Best Revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other
person was right about you.

11. Work is Good, but it's Not That Important. Money is Nice, But You Can't Take It With You. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved -- some die even before they retire.

You've never seen a U-Haul hooked up to the rear of a hearse, have you? And everything we have isn't really ours -- it was given to us by God; He just lets us borrow it while we're here....even
our kids.

12. And Finally ... Be Really Good To Your Family and/or Friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
post #2 of 5
I like those, especially number 5 Affectionally known as 'The Last Drop' before I go out.
post #3 of 5
1 You believe in Santa
2 You don't believe in Santa
3 You are Santa
4 You look like Santa
post #4 of 5
Those are great!

Dragon lady, I love the santa one!!!!!!!!!! Haha...thats my hubby! He is always complaining how old he is getting, I'll have to tell him pretty soon he won't be santa anymore, he'll just look like him!!LOL
post #5 of 5
Hee hee!! I love number five, too! Oh well, it'll be molicares for me soon, I guess...
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