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Dating after divorce? - Page 2

post #31 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf View Post
"Dad, you took the job in Dayton for a fresh start. New job, new place, new chance to meet eligible ladies. I do not think the type of women you will meet in that section of town at 3am in the morning while on a search warrant with the vice squad qualify as ones that I would consider as a step-mom."
This tells me you've done a FABULOUS job raising your daughters, Mark! you must be so proud of the strong, independent and witty young women they've become! Someday I hope to find someone just like you for my girl!
post #32 of 42
Despite him not being able to "deal", looks like you produced a very cute addition to the fur-kids family. And, as a guy who dated a person with two kids and then got married, don't count all guys in the can't deal with kids category. I love mine to death although they have given me a receeding hairline, high blood pressure, stomach problems and gray hairs before I was 40!

Good advice BTW.
post #33 of 42
I think as long as you are officially broken up or divorced then it's okay to start dating again right away. Most people these days don't wait to jump back into the dating game. Obviously if it was a really long relationship that you just got out of, then it may take longer to be comfortable dating again. But you've been single for awhile now, it'd probably help you to move on and get over him if you had another man to focus your attention on.
post #34 of 42
I understand why some would not want to date when they have kids, but IMO its better to have a strong loving relationship and let the kids see and know that not all marriages are bad ones; or not all men/women are bad.

You can't be putting your entire life on a back burner for your kids. They don't have to be #1 ALL the time. You need to balance their needs AND your needs.

IMO when you put them ahead of your needs, you are not really teaching them all of what they need to know/see in a healthy relationship! And they wind up demanding all your time no matter what - that's not fair to them or to you.

But you can't be bringing home one person after another either. However you need adult time and you need dating time. To wait 5, 10, 15 yrs before having a "life" again is kinda sad to me.
post #35 of 42
Thanks Mark -- I think she's pretty cute too, but I'm admittedly biased

No, I don't tend to paint with broad strokes like that. Just want to be completely at peace with this business of being a parent before I try to add a s/o to the mix. And yes, unfortunately in this day and age we have to be cautious of who we bring home to the kids. I also need to hone my 'women's intuition' a bit before diving headlong into the dating pool.
post #36 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
I understand why some would not want to date when they have kids, but IMO its better to have a strong loving relationship and let the kids see and know that not all marriages are bad ones; or not all men/women are bad.
ITA with this statement, but the fact of the matter is, a strong, loving relationship takes TIME, and lots of it, BEFORE you involve the kids.
post #37 of 42
And then there's my Mom. She and my Dad divorced when I was 7 or 8. My Mom never dated until well after my little brother and I were grown and out of the house. She got engaged. They never married because he developed cancer and passed away.

All I'm saying is don't put your own life off so long that you miss out.
post #38 of 42
When my ex & I splitup I started dating someone way too soon, and almost ended up with a stalker. Real loser!!! Then I "dated mutual friend of a friend" he was a truck driver and was great because he wasn't around very much, but he usually drove at night so when I couldn't sleep I could always call him and talk, he was really more of a friend than anything else. When I stopped looking and was just out for an evening with the girls I met "the One". It was about a year after we broke up. Listen to your heart and you will know when the time is right.

Take care of yourself and your child first & foremost.
post #39 of 42
My parents divorced, when I was 10 and both remarried, just before I turned 12. I wound up with the proverbial wicked stepmother and haven't seen my father, since I was 15.

Mom married the man that I buy Fathers' Day, Christmas and birthday gifts for and all of the grandkids/great-grandkids call HIM "Grandpa". I'm glad that Mom didn't wait.
post #40 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RicaLynn View Post
Our girls are about the same age!!!! When was Ari born?
Ari was born March 11th. Thats cool that they are the same age. When was Danica born?
post #41 of 42
Dani was born April 11th!! exactly a month apart!
post #42 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RicaLynn View Post
Dani was born April 11th!! exactly a month apart!
Thats to funny! Ari will be 5 months soon.
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