Thanks to everyone.
I have been crying on and off all day, my eyes hurt. I even took Sibohan outsite to see where Duke is sleeping. I have been talking to him a lot today.
Sibohan is still looking for him, but I think she knows.
I keep going over things in my head that I could have done differently but I know it's not my fault. The parts god gave him just wore out quicker than they could have. He was meant to be loved strongly and deeply for a short time so he could watch over me for the long run.
What I am going to miss the most is him climbing onto my chest purring while I read before bed, when he thought I had ignored him for long enough he would headbutt the book until I put it down and scretched his head then I fell asleep rubbing his nose. He loved to have the bridge of his nose rubbed.
I miss him so much but having the amazing people here are the TCS has made things a little more bearable.