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IN need of advice..touchy situation - Page 2

post #31 of 40
This is one of those very difficult decisions that you have to make the call on. I think that having an open & honest relationship with your son is helpful. I'm sure he feels bad, and hopefully he will remember that if something like this comes up again.
post #32 of 40
Originally Posted by Rosiemac View Post
These animals need to be taken out the house like yesterday because their the ones suffering and they need someone to speak up on their behalf

Did his vet not question what had happend to the kitten?.

Family or not i wouldn't be bothered if they were huffed or pleased by having them removed from them, because the kitten especially sounds like it was thrown really hard

I am not going to even read further on this.....I have been there and seen that....and got very sick to my stomach.

I say....(and must be careful) that you MUST get those poor animals out of the house YESTERDAY....actually...not going to read anymore until a few days to hopefully see you were able to take everyone else's advice....don't want to read further b/c I know other people are going to give examples....which they should.

Thank you for your concern....and there is only ONE answer....and, I second the question....too bad the vet didn't ask...

No more....going to bed now...with this NIGHTMARE in my head.
post #33 of 40
Thread Starter 
Once again..thanks to allyour comments, suggestions. I really appreciate it and i am taking every word to heart. Everything is going fine there and I think my son truly is sorry he overreacted. The first step was admitting he was wrong and he did. This made me remember what happened to my husband when he was 8 years old. My husband was a wild one, he was twirling in the living room and stepped on there german shepard mix. He startled her and he fell, she lunged at him and took several bites out of the side of his face. From his eye socket to his lips were mauled. His eye was hanging out and the whole side was like ground meat. My mother-in-law passed out and he had to go get a neighbor for help. Before he was going into the operating room for major plastic surgery. He made my father-in-law promise that he would not hurt that dog. They had that dog until the ripe old age of 15. She went partially blind and use to bite at anyone with white socks on.
After all that my husband still loved his Ginger until the day she died. Our family is all so pet-oriented..I am talking spoiled rotten pets. My sister-in-law takes her labradoodle for a ride in her brand new cadilac every night.
My mother-in laws dog..omg..spoiled..its crazy...her siberian husky has his own bed, and can't go out when its to hot..the air has to be on..can't leave him home..spoiled wow! picky eater, she has spent so much on dog food. But my dogs get all the unwanted food.
I guess the point of all my babble is to say my son did not grow up to be mean to animals , I never saw that kind of behavior in him. I think it was a huge mistake and he won't do it again. I think a happy home is a home full of animals...I know some disagree...buts that my theory!!
post #34 of 40
Originally Posted by Laurie314 View Post

My daughter-in-law has told me several times about my son hitting the dog.
Originally Posted by Laurie314 View Post
I guess the point of all my babble is to say my son did not grow up to be mean to animals , I never saw that kind of behavior in him. I think it was a huge mistake and he won't do it again. I think a happy home is a home full of animals...I know some disagree...buts that my theory!!
Laurie, you have already told us he has hit the dog several times. I understand he is your son and I understand that you would want to defend him, but if that first statement is true, those animals are not safe around him.

Im sure you want to believe different, but you yourself said he has hit his sog several times. I would urge you to think about that and realize these animals have no choice but to be hit.

In all honesty, if he has hit the doig dseveral times, it just will not stop, it doesnt work that way. Please help those animals.
post #35 of 40
What Pami said. ^^^^^^^

I would say give him a chance (after hearing about his upbringing), but THROWING an animal? I agree.. please do your best to get those poor babies out of his reach. They were not born into this world to be abused because someone was "stressed out."
post #36 of 40
Please get these animals out of there ASAP. I hope you can take them at least temporarily. They are in great danger, as you know. I hope you can do this; I know it is very hard. Loads of luck to you. I hope your son's problems can find some solution soon.
post #37 of 40
It just seems to me that they are not appropriately respectful of the lives of these little creatures- as if the animals are there for them and not part of the family.

I applaud your efforts to educate them about the need to treat the animals with respect and love. But a 2 year old is too young to have a kitten. And the dog getting hit is just wrong. I work with animal adoptions and we would not adopt to families with children that young. A lot of groups will not do it, just because it is asking too much of the child at that age.

If I were you I would ask your son and daughter in law WHO in the family is the parent to the animals? WHO is taking primary responsibility for their welfare?

The problem I see is that now everyone has abdicated that responsibility to you. And as long as they see you as the animal mom, they are not taking that responsibility themselves except out of respect to you. So when you are not there, the animals do not have their protector and the pecking order allows the kids (whose protectors are the parents who do not have the animals' interest up there with the kids) to treat the animals with less than the respect they deserve.

My suggestion would be to have one or both parents attest to you in no uncertain terms that they are the mom and dad of these animals same as with their children, and for the sake of the whole family and well being of themselves, the animals, and their children, everyone will have a place of honor and respect in the home. I would have them sign a paper or do some formal family meeting or sit-down, and create or make a declaration, that captures the moment and the seriousness of it- just like a business meeting with a set deliverables and responsibilities and roles assigned and expectations clearly established.

I think the animals should not be in the home. If you are seeing problems, other people will too and eventually someone will complain to the authorities and then they will all be on the other side of a sharp stick.

I would recommend the family get education but you said they don't have time. That sort of says it all. I think if you can locate other good homes for the pets and tell your son, you may be able to create a comfortable situation where they will let them go with no feeling of blame or failure, just an acknowledgement that this was the right thing to do given the circumstances and their busy life. This will work especially if you substitute something else for the kids, the bait and switch - a day at the amusement park or something. You get the picture.

I hope this helps, I am typing this in haste but wish you good luck. It was courageous of you to come on this forum for advice knowing what people would likely say. I do hope this helps bring some insight into the situation you are facing.
post #38 of 40
this makes me sick to my stomach........

The original poster knows what she needs to do.

The question is: "Will she do it?"
post #39 of 40
I know the original poster has likely heard this enough, but please.... get those animals out of there ASAP. I can completely understand that you love your son, and don't want to think he's hurting these animals, but you did say his wife told you he had hit the dog several times. That is NOT tolerable and breaks my heart. This poor, innocent dog is having someones frustrations taken out on him/her! And throwing a helpless baby kitty across the floor, knocking the poor baby out and causing him/her to bleed!? That makes me so sad. I can't say I would not go ballistic and REALLY hurt someone if I saw them do something like that, and I am a very mellow person. Ask him how he would feel if that was HIS child. That poor kitten....

If he says he will never let it happen again, that is a lie, since he has already abused the dog on several occasions.

I also agree that 2 years old is not NEARLY old enough to have a kitten, especially if left unsupervised with it. Children need to be taught how to respect animals, and this child is being taught that violence is ok, and that if kitty scares her because it gets scared, or during play that is normal for a kitten, its ok to throw kitty roughly and/or hit.

Please, for the sake of these innocent furbabies, get them out of there. Someone needs to, before these two innocent lives are further damaged.
post #40 of 40
He is also teaching the kids HOW to abuse animals....... Since dad does it, it must be ok....

From a mother's standpoint, how sad..... My son loves his animals and his children. I raised him with cats and they are his favorite..... I can't imagine him hurting them. He was gentle and I taught him to be gentle as a child.

Something is wrong in this household other than the animals...... When did dad start abusing animals??? I'm not sure if this mother is strong enough to do something..

Stress is not the culprit. It is the excuse... Remember that.. Stress is an overused term just like "menopause made me do it" or "pms made me do it"..... People hit when they feel choiceless and are looking for a quick solution... By teaching kids to hit animals, you take away their problem solving skills in my opinion. Hitting is the easy way out of things to solve a problem. But it solves nothing. It creates a whirlwind of negative energy flow in a household. Just like yelling does.

For a kitten, 8 weeks old, sliding across a hardwood floor fast enough to hit something and knock it out is pretty rough. It slept because it has a concussion... A brain injury... An 8 week old kitten is tiny. It could not hurt a fly except possibly cause a small scratch. It is just a little baby. It would still nurse it's mother if it's mom was around.. The vet the kitten went to probably had no idea what happened. I doubt the son said to the vet "I threw the kitten hard enough across the room to knock it out". He had to have told some lie...

Read this and think about it....... It is a little off topic but I find it very interesting..... We can change our environment...... We don't have to be negative in our day to day dealings.. Your son needs to look at the big picture of what he is creating by his negative behavior..... I don't know know how to help you but the "whole picture" of their lives and what they are creating needs to change..... It's an inner thing.. We can try to be different and learn new behaviors but we still have to feel it for it to really be so.

I hope he can solve his issues..... I hope you can help him see that he needs to change.
I do wish you the best.

Astonishing DNA Experiments

Below are three astonishing experiments with DNA which proves
that DNA can heal itself according to the "feelings" of the


The first experiment reported was done by Dr. Vladimir Poponin,
a quantum biologist. In this experiment, first a container was
emptied (i.e. a vacuum was created within it), and then the
only thing left was photons (particles of light). They measured the
distribution (ie the location) of the photons and found they
were completely random inside the container. This was the
expected result.

Then some DNA was placed inside the container and the
distribution (location) of the photons was remeasured. This
time the photons were LINED UP in an ORDERED way and aligned with
the DNA. In other words the physical DNA had an effect on the non-
physical photons.

After that, the DNA was removed from the container, and the
distribution of the photons was measured again. The photons
REMAINED ORDERED and lined up where the DNA had been. What are
the light particles connected to?

Here we are forced to accept the possibility that
some NEW field of energy, a web of energy, is there and the DNA
is communicating with the photons through this energy.


These were experiments done by the military. Leukocytes (white
blood cells) were collected for DNA from donors and placed into
chambers so they could measure electrical changes. In this
experiment, the donor was placed in one room and subjected to
"emotional stimulation" consisting of video clips, which
generated different emotions in the donor. The DNA was placed
in a different room in the same building. Both the donor and his
DNA were monitored and as the donor exhibited emotional peaks
or valleys (measured by electrical responses), the DNA exhibited
lag time, no transmission time. The DNA peaks and valleys EXACTLY
MATCHED the peaks and valleys of the donor in time.

The military wanted to see how far away they could separate the
donor from his DNA and still get this effect. They stopped
testing after they separated the DNA and the donor by 50 miles
and STILL had the SAME result. No lag time; no transmission
time. The DNA and the donor had the same identical responses in

What can this mean? It means that living cells
communicate through a previously unrecognized form of energy.
This energy is not affected by time and distance. This is a
non-local form of energy, an energy that already exists
everywhere, all the time.


The third experiment was done by the Institute of Heart Math
and the paper that was written about this was titled: Local and
Non-local Effects of Coherent Heart Frequencies on
Conformational Changes of DNA. (Disregard the title! The info
is incredible.)

This is the experiment that relates directly to the anthrax
situation. In this experiment, some human placenta DNA (the
most pristine form of DNA) was placed in a container from which they
could measure changes in the DNA. Twenty-eight vials of DNA
were given (one each) to 28 trained researchers. Each researcher had
been trained how to generate and FEEL feelings, and they each
had strong emotions.

What was discovered was that the DNA CHANGED ITS SHAPE
according to the feelings of the researchers:

1. When the researchers FELT gratitude, love and appreciation,
the DNA responded by RELAXING and the strands unwound. The DNA
became longer.

2. When the researchers FELT anger, fear, frustration, or
stress, the DNA responded by TIGHTENING UP. It became shorter
and SWITCHED OFF many of our DNA codes! If you've ever felt
"shut down" by negative emotions, now you know why your body
was equally shut down too.

The shut down of the DNA codes was reversed and the codes were
switched back on again when feelings of love, joy, gratitude
and appreciation were felt by the researchers.

This experiment was later followed up by testing HIV positive
patients. They discovered that feelings of love, gratitude and
appreciation created 300,000 TIMES the RESISTANCE they had
without those feelings. So here's the answer to what can help
you stay well, no matter what dreadful virus or bacteria may be
floating around, stay in feelings of joy, love, gratitude and

These emotional changes went beyond the effects of
electromagnetics. Individuals trained in deep love were able to
change the shape of their DNA. This
illustrates a newly recognized form of energy that connects all
of creation. This energy appears to be a TIGHTLY WOVEN WEB that
connects all matter. Essentially we're able to influence this
web of creation through our VIBRATION.

SUMMARY: What do the results of these experiments have to do
with our present situation? This is the science behind how we
can choose a timeline to stay safe, no matter what else is
happening. Basically time is not just linear (past, present and
future), but it also has depth. The depth of time consists of all
the possible prayers and timelines that could ever be prayed or
exist. Essentially, all our prayers have already been answered.
We just activate the one we're living through our FEELINGS.

THIS is how we create our reality - by choosing it with our
feelings. Our feelings are activating the timeline via the web
of creation, which connects all of the energy and matter of the
Universe. Remember that the law of the Universe is that we
attract what we focus on. If you are focused on fearing
whatever may come, you are sending a strong message to the Universe to
send you whatever you fear. Instead, if you can get yourself
into feelings of joy, love, appreciation or gratitude, and
focus on bringing more of that into your life, you are going to avoid
the negative stuff automatically.

You will be choosing a different TIMELINE with your feelings.

You can prevent getting anthrax or any other flu, virus, etc,
by staying in these positive feelings, which maintains an
incredibly strong immune system.

So here's your protection for whatever comes: Find something to
be happy about every day, and every hour if possible,
moment-to-moment, even if only for a few minutes.

"He who is plenteously provided for from within, needs but
little from without."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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