1yr old doesn't seem to love us

natcat

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Jun 27, 2007
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Belgium
Hi,
Me(29) and my wife (35) have a beautiful "patched cat" that we love very much. She's cute and we give her a lot of affection but... She doesn't like our company so much we think. Why ? read on:
- She never comes to us when we're on the couch or the bed to play, cuddle or to be touched even.
- Whenever I approach her she goes away, or never lets me stroke her more than once
- The only time that she allows us to cuddle her is when she wants food.
- She wakes up my wife every morning at around 6u30 because she wants food and won't eat unless she stays with her.
- She stays on the window the whole day behind the "flyscreen" watching the birds, goes from one window to the other and just sleeps the rest of the day (we have an appartement without garden, sadly).
- She won't let us hold her for more than 10 sec before pushing us away.

It's like we're complaining now, but we're worried that she's not happy.
She's a very good cat in the way that she doesn't use her claws on our furniture, never...
Sometimes I think that we got her too early (6 weeks old) and that she
now has some character flaws, but she's actually ok with other cats (when she's done with blowing and guarding territory for 2 days or so).

Is there anything you can suggest to us to improve our relationship with our cat?

P.S.: we got her sterilised, and she has a lot of toys and a big climber.
 

catpsych

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Jun 14, 2007
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Hi there,
It just sounds like your kitty didn't have a whole lot of human contact when she was a very young kitten, which is very important for her to get, if not, cats can become very skitish and standoffish. To get her to be more lovey, I would not place her food in her bowl in the morning, instead each of you (you and your wife) grab a handful of cat food and hand feed her. If she won't at first, toss the food to her on the floor. Eventually she will come right up to you to eat. Also keep some yummy cat treats next to the couch and when you guys are relaxing on the couch toss some treats to her, each day toss the treats closer and closer to the couch until eventually she is eating the treats on the couch from your hand. The more she develops positive associations between you guys and the food, she will be more and more willing to visit you in the bed and on the couch for some affection. Also while giving her the treats gently pet her and speak softly to her. This should do the trick, it will take a few months to gradually get her to where you want her to be, but give her time and let her progress at her own pace. I hope this helps.

Take care,
Kerry


Originally Posted by NatCat

Hi,
Me(29) and my wife (35) have a beautiful "patched cat" that we love very much. She's cute and we give her a lot of affection but... She doesn't like our company so much we think. Why ? read on:
- She never comes to us when we're on the couch or the bed to play, cuddle or to be touched even.
- Whenever I approach her she goes away, or never lets me stroke her more than once
- The only time that she allows us to cuddle her is when she wants food.
- She wakes up my wife every morning at around 6u30 because she wants food and won't eat unless she stays with her.
- She stays on the window the whole day behind the "flyscreen" watching the birds, goes from one window to the other and just sleeps the rest of the day (we have an appartement without garden, sadly).
- She won't let us hold her for more than 10 sec before pushing us away.

It's like we're complaining now, but we're worried that she's not happy.
She's a very good cat in the way that she doesn't use her claws on our furniture, never...
Sometimes I think that we got her too early (6 weeks old) and that she
now has some character flaws, but she's actually ok with other cats (when she's done with blowing and guarding territory for 2 days or so).

Is there anything you can suggest to us to improve our relationship with our cat?

P.S.: we got her sterilised, and she has a lot of toys and a big climber.
 

jinxy

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
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0
Hello,
It could be your cat wasn't given enough handling when a kitten. But also, it may just be the personality. I have 3 cats and one of them in exactly like yours. It rarely purrs, NEVER sits on your lap, never cuddles with us. I just think it is the personality of your cat.
As CatPsych, handling, handling and more handling is always good. I'm not an expert, I simply see it as just a personality; although I suppose it can always be changed
 
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