Angel being put to sleep :*(((

If you remember, I posted earlier about Angel not eating and how she lost 2 pounds since September. She would eat a little out of a spoon, but not from her dish, but she would drink water from her dish.

We tried the Valium shot. We tried the steroid shot. We tried Nutri-Cal. Nothing has worked.

She is now to the point to where she just stays under the couch and will not come out. She will let out a small whine/cry when you touch her. She used to love to be brushed...but now she cries. I am guessing this is all because she is so thin that it probably hurts her now.

The vet told my mother today that she is probably starving because she will not eat enough. He also suggested that her organs might be shutting down if they aren't already because of this.

Angel will probably be put to sleep tomorrow morning. The vet made the suggestion not to "wait to long to make the decision".

I, personally, don't believe she is even in that body anymore. She just lies there and stares off into space and doesn't blink or react to anything. There is no personality coming through. Nothing. It is like her body is just functioning until it can't anymore and her soul has already left. Is that possible?? Can that happen?

I have thrown myself on the floor many times and have bawled until I couldn't anymore, but I cannot keep doing that and it really isn't fair to keep Angel in that condition of starving herself. It must hurt her and she has to be so hungry. Really...this must be the most difficult thing I have ever EVER EVER EVER EVER had to face in my life. ((worse than a human death??))

My mother is going to a pet cemetary and will have her cremated. She didn't want a cemetary lot because she didn't want her to be there alone at night in the dark. She picked out a nice oak box that has a place for a small plaque and picture and she "wants to bring her back home" when it is all over. So....that is comforting, too, to know Angel will always be at home.

Is that morbid to keep that box at home?

It might sound that way and with a person, that really creeps me out, but why with a pet is seems so comforting?

Anyway...I just wanted to vent and share my story and resolution. I will never see my Angel-Pie again. I had a terrible feeling about all of this so I did kiss her goodbye and thanked her for being my best friend since 1984 when I was 12 years old.

http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...&threadid=5369

(she is the white one in the thread...please go there and say goodbye to her....I am sure you would've loved her as much as I do! Thanks)

Carrie,

I am sorry to read this, but I commend you on making the right decision. Something is terribly wrong with your Angel and you are doing the most unselfish act of all to just let her go. She sounds like she has given up on life, and as cats can tolerate a lot of pain and hide it well- what you are doing- though hard, is right. There are a lot of companies out there that make wonderful memorial markers and ceremonial urns so you can remember your cat, perhaps your mom might want to do this instead of a box.

Oh Sweetie...I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm so upset right now I'm in tears. Your situation is exactly what I went through a year ago in October. It brings back so many memories and emotions. I know first hand what you are going through. Mimi was going downhill fast and I knew that she was suffering, but I felt selfish. I wanted her to be with me, but I didn't want her to hurt anymore. I also felt like I was playing God with her...I felt like I was killing her even though I knew it was the right decision. I know that someday I will see my precious baby once again and everything will be painfree for both of us.

I think it a great idea for you to "bring her back home". I knew that I wouldn't be able to let go if I knew that she was still here, so I chose a different option. My Vet knew how much she meant to me so he buried her in his backyard. He said that his backyard has many other animals there too, so she wouldn't be alone. For some strange reason, it seemed to help me.

Once again, I am truly sorry for your loss. If you need to talk sometime, feel free to "vent" or chat with me about it. My email addy is [email protected] in case if you would like to talk about it. Plus, there are MANY great people on this site that are here you too...
My thoughts are with you and Angel during this hard time...
Sincerely,
Michelle

Thank you...thank you soo soo much. I am going to get some sleep now, but please don't be surprised if I utilize your offer to send email....this is just terribly traumatic...I don't even remember being this upset when my grandfather died. That was 12 years ago and I was 18 so maybe I was just young then...but this is horrible. When you literally have to collapse on the floor and have no control over yourself...something is wrong. Just very very wrong.

I can understand the pain and how deep it really is. For instance my Mimi was my first indoor cat and I got her when I was 13. She was my buddy, my best friend and someone who loved me unconditionally. My childhood was great, but at 13 years old I had some issues...just like any teenager does. If I had a fight with a friend or my parents, I'd cuddle up with her and I knew that she loved me. She knew when I was depressed or when I was crying...she would get right in my face as if she knew I needed a shoulder to cry on. I had 13 wonderful years with her and miss her so much. She brought great joy to my life and could never repay her for all those great times. When Mimi died, I felt like I couldn't go on. I was physically ill from it. It hurt more than when my Grandpa passed...I hurt when he died, but this hurt deep in my heart. She knew my secrets, she knew things that no one else knew and she never judged me...she just loved me. Thats one reason why it hurts so bad...their love for their owners are unconditional and that is why I love those furry creatures.

Tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest days of your life and no matter how much you try to prepare yourself, it won't be an easy thing to go through. If you need to vent or just spill it out...write me. You don't have to sugar coat it or anything...just let it out, you will feel better by getting it off your chest.
Carrie, please take care of yourself. Don't keep it all locked inside it will only make matters worse. You might want to check out the thread about mourning a pet, it helped me a lot.
Sincerely,
Michelle

oh honey, how i can relate!
just keep in mind that you are doing the best for her. you don't want to see her suffering.
i agree, it is going to be the hardest thing that you have ever done.
i had my 18 1/2 year old kitty put to sleep 4 years ago. it just broke my heart! she was my best friend. she went thru all the tough times with me, from moving to not having enough money. and yet she never complained. the night before i had her put to sleep, it was thundering and lightning like crazy outside. she was an indoor cat only but she sat at the door and just cried to go outside! it was the strangest thing. she hadn't eaten for days.
i was with her when the vet gave her that shot. i told her i loved her and i held her while she passed. then i took her home and buried her in the yard. but that was tough too! the first time it rained, i wanted to go out and dig her up because i figured she was getting wet and i didn't want her to get all wet!
sometimes makes me wonder why we have pets but then i think of all the joy that they provide and i know that the pain is worth all the joy! i wouldn't have missed having her for the world!
please know that i care and if you need to talk, i am here for you! you have a tough day ahead of you! i so feel for you!
take care!

Originally posted by Shell

I wanted her to be with me, but I didn't want her to hurt anymore. I also felt like I was playing God with her...I felt like I was killing her even though I knew it was the right decision. I know that someday I will see my precious baby once again and everything will be painfree for both of us.

Click to expand...

When I had to put my 14 year old cat, Midnight, to sleep a year ago last August, I felt exactly the same way Shell did. The loss of a special pet can be as hard or even harder than the loss of a human.

About cremation...
I don't think keeping Angel's cremains in the house is morbid at all. Midnight was also cremated, and her cremains have a special place on the top of my computer desk. I also keep a picture of her, the sympathy card from my vet, and a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem there. I find that these things are very comforting. I have a lot of very good memories of Midnight, and while she was alive she knew she was really cared about.

You are making the right decision even though it is extremely difficult and painful for you right now.

Carrie-

My heart goes out to you today as you say goodbye to your friend. I am going to move this post over the The Bridge Forum now. If you ever need to talk to anyone, just hit the profile button on the bottom of the person's post and you will be able to send a PM or an email to them. There are a lot of us who have walked in your steps and there is a lot of support for you here.

Thank you.

Angel did go to sleep this morning. My mother said it wasn't even a second really after she had the injection. Does it really happen this fast or does it depend upon the cat?

She told me that she didn't fight to get her paw back when the vet took it to give her the shot. That is unlike her...she never liked anyone to touch her front paws. What does that mean? Does that mean she was ready or just didn't know what was going on or what?

I am so sad, but as sick as it sounds, I feel a little bit of relief. Maybe because I don't have to see her starving or hurting when she lies down. I don't know....

Is the worst of this over with or is there more to come?

I just wanted to let you know that I think it is perfectly normal to want ot hold on to your pet. I have a beloved pet in a very nice box with a very beautiful picture of him on the front. It gives me a little comfort and when I die i plan to put the box in with me.
I am so sorry for your situation.
Denise

Carrie, Angel has been a part of your life for the majority of the time you have been alive! I am not surprised at all that her death is hitting you so hard. It's best to let the tears come. And how you and mom handle her remains is a personal thing. Whatever you think is best is right in your case. I've had quite a few pets who have been part of the family for 16 years. It is never easy to lose them; it's just plain heartbreaking. My prayers are with you; you have lost a precious member of your family. There is a lovely story at the top of this page called the Rainbow Bridge. Perhaps it will give you comfort. God bless.

Carrie, I think that the reason the injection took effect so quickly and Angel didn't try to resist the vet is because she was really ready to go. I was told by my vet that it usually took a couple of minutes, but I think it also might depend on the individual cat.

Usually the first couple of days are the most difficult. You will grieve Angel's loss for a while because she was very special to you. Just let the grief come and don't try to rush through it or hold it in. Eventually, it will get easier. The final act of kindness your mother gave Angel this morning is also the greatest act of kindness that can ever be given to an animal.

Keep Angel alive in your heart and cherish your many happy memories of her.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Just remember all the wonderful times you had with your precious baby.



Kyttin

Hello Carrie,
I read your reply to my post...thank you very much, it really does help to know that there are people who understand...and yes...I do go crazy...I want to throw things, scream, cry, throw myself down on the floor bang my head against the wall...and I keep thinking why why why...such sweet loving and innocent creatures, why do they even have to suffer if only for a moment. I tried to find a moment where I wasn't so tear-filled to reply to your post...but I don't seem to be having any of those moments anymore I think you are a very courageous loving person for making this decision for Angel and I will be thinking about you when my vet comes to the house coming Sunday at 09.30 am my time...I really think it will help me to think about you...and maybe Angel and Dougie will be playing together after that moment. I am sitting here crying again right now...I feel all choked up and my head is filled with questions, doubts, anger and most of all sadness. I really understand your grief so by all means, feel free to message or email ( [email protected] ) any time if you like...just talk about it as much as you like. My heart goes out to you, I am so sad for you. Sorry if maybe I don't make a whole lot of sense now but I am not at all thinking straight at the moment. Just know that you're in my thoughts.
Love,
Jasja

Believe me, you DO make sense...I can understand it ALL!

Oh Carrie!!! I am so very very sorry to hear about Angel! I went and looked at the thread with her picture! She was so beautiful! I feel so bad that I did not see this thread sooner to offer my support...I don't get to read very many of the forums here other than the one I moderate (the lounge) because I have such limited internet time now, with a new baby...I just feel so bad that I did not see this sooner and have come to offer my condolences so late. I have shed tears for Angel after reading this....and you made the comment wondering if it was possible that the soul might have already left and the body was just waiting to shut down...yes...I do believe that is possible...I think Angel was already in heaven when her body was going through it's last stages of life....I know I felt this way with my mother....so I also believe it possible for a cat. I hope this makes sense. Even though I am late with this, if you still need to talk, I am here for you...just PM me.

My thoughts and prayers are with you....I know this was hard.

Carrie,
I know exactly what you are going thru and I am truly sorry about your cat. I had my Precious for 16 years (she was 17). I had her put to sleep on November 27, 2002. She was my best friend it was hard to do. She started getting sick earlier this year we took her to the vet and he said her liver and kidneys were failing, and they were enlarged and she had fluid on her lungs and heart. We had her on Lasik and Tumil K and she was doing real good but she started getting tired before making it to her litterbox and would lay down and pee right on the floor. Many times she did that and I would hold her and just cry. We were planning on putting her to sleep on Dec 12, but I came home from work on Nov 27 and she hadn't eaten all day and I knew no matter how much it hurt I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore. It still hurts deeply but I made a website for her in her memory and bought a picture frame to put her photos in and hang on the wall. I stayed with her the entire time they were putting her to sleep. As she was going under I put my hand under her head and she smelled my hand for the last time and she was gone. I will never forget that as long as I live.

As for having your cat cremated it is in no way morbid I had my kitty cremated and got an urn that holds her photo. It makes me feel better knowing that in a way she is still right there with me. Her death was the hardest thing for me because we were so close. I went and talked to someone after putting her to sleep because I could not stop crying. In time I believe it will get a little easier but right now I still miss her like it was yesterday.
Take care of yourself, my heart goes out to you.

I'm so sorry for your recent loss of Angel. What a beautiful, beautiful girl! You gave her a wonderful life and she knows she is still loved and missed terribly. I can't express how sorry I am for you. I, too, have lost beloved pets in the past and know how difficult it can be. I'm not sure I believe that saying,"Time heals all wounds", but think we just learn to live with the losses in however long it takes us. Please know our hearts ache for you and we are thinking of you and hoping soon you'll be able to reflect on the wonderful memories you shared with Angel-Pie with a smile and most likely lots of tears as well. I lost my very first feline friend about 16 years ago and I still shed tears when I look at his pictures. I believe they're tears of joy as well as tears of sadness because I wish he could still be with us. Again, I'm so sorry! If you ever need an ear or a shoulder - just let me know.