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Graduation Question

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I finished my undergrad It is a Bachelor of Science in Social Science with Minors in Black Studies and Women's Studies. I haven't decided if I will continue on to grad school. Final GPA was 3.32, not what I had hoped for but good enough.

Here's the thing. My family hasn't said much about it. My sister did of course. I wouldn't have been able to get through all this without her. I called my mom and told her I was done. She said "ok". We talked a bit more about other things then I asked if she was going to congratulate me. She said "Well, I think that goes without saying." and she didn't say it

My sis and I were talking and I realized no one did anything for her when she received her BA either. She had a wide circle of friends so they did something special for her. I am not the same type of person she is so the friends thing doesn't happen with me.

Its as though, because we are both first generation college students, my working class family isn't quite sure what to do with us. All along they have asked, "so will you make money with this degree?" but never really wanted to hear more than that. It is as though if it isn't tangible, it doesn't exist.

Am I being a big baby about this? Other people at school were talking about what fusses their families and loved ones were making for them. I guess I never really thought about it until now. I will be doing commencement in August and am hoping they will come to it. I know my sister will.

I realize my degree is for me. I wouldn't trade all I've learned these past six years for anything. Just that I worked so hard. Yep, I am being a big baby. I guess I just want to know why a family wouldn't acknowledge something like this? We're a relatively close family, get together for birthdays, holidays and such. When I say my family, I mean my mom, my siblings and their spouses and children. All extended family is back in Missouri and thereabouts.
post #2 of 21
Whether it has significance for them or not, this is an important accomplishment for you. Even if they don't understand why it would make you particularly happy, the fact that you are should be cause for celebration among your family. I hope you can convey to them your hope that they will want to celebrate with you, and how meaningful it will be to have them there.
post #3 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47 View Post
Whether it has significance for them or not, this is an important accomplishment for you. Even if they don't understand why it would make you particularly happy, the fact that you are should be cause for celebration among your family. I hope you can convey to them your hope that they will want to celebrate with you, and how meaningful it will be to have them there.
Well said!

You aren't being a big baby. You've worked hard, and it's understandable that you want your family to feel proud of what you've achieved.
post #4 of 21
Congratulations on getting your degree

Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47 View Post
Whether it has significance for them or not, this is an important accomplishment for you. Even if they don't understand why it would make you particularly happy, the fact that you are should be cause for celebration among your family. I hope you can convey to them your hope that they will want to celebrate with you, and how meaningful it will be to have them there.
Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. It's an achievement for you and they should want to celebrate that, no matter what they think of college.
post #5 of 21
Do you think they just don't understand why you went to college? Or do they resent it a little? Sometimes it's hard for people to be really excited that you've graduated from college because it is a huge difference and they feel like 'what, you're too good to do what I did?'

Hopefully not!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!
post #6 of 21
All I have to say is CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

You've achieved something very, very important and you've accomplished something special! Go you!
post #7 of 21
Congratulations!

I don't have any answers about your family, but I think your accomplishment is awesome!
post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47 View Post
Whether it has significance for them or not, this is an important accomplishment for you. Even if they don't understand why it would make you particularly happy, the fact that you are should be cause for celebration among your family. I hope you can convey to them your hope that they will want to celebrate with you, and how meaningful it will be to have them there.
I couldn't put it any better! Congratulations!
post #9 of 21
Y'know, I wonder if they just don't understand the subjects you've been studying. Maybe they don't grasp the purpose and meaning of what you've done... and if they aren't sure what it's about, they might be hesitant to talk with you about it, for fear they'll look ignorant...?

Have you talked about the work you intend to do with this degree? Maybe they just need to be able to envision the career you've been working towards. And... gosh, if commencement is in August -- is it possible they think they're supposed to wait until then to throw you a party?

Try not to let it hurt your feelings... they probably just don't get it. And somewhere down the line, they'll look at the work you're doing and just overflow with pride!

Meanwhile... graduation party at my house! Everybody welcome!


CONGRATULATIONS,
BONNIE!






post #10 of 21
CONGRATS! That is a great accomplishment!
post #11 of 21
I'd be upset if my family didn't make a fuss too, so I don't think you're being a baby at all, but

Congratulations Bonnie!!!!!!

That is so great!!
post #12 of 21
I do hope they at least take you to a nice place to celebrate - not necessarily throw a party (like HS grad) but something to acknowledge your accomplishments

BTW CONGRATULATIONS!
post #13 of 21
Congratulations!! I'll tell you, my parents didn't make a big deal out of my graduating from college. They went to the graduation and took me out to dinner afterwards, but that was about it. HS graduation is the big deal in my family. Of course, after paying for college for 5 years, they probably didn't have the money to throw a party! Neither of my parents went to college and I don't think they understood how hard it was or how important it was to me. I think they just thought it was a 4 yr slumber party. But, I'm sure your family is proud of you, even if they don't say the words.
post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
Do you think they just don't understand why you went to college? Or do they resent it a little? Sometimes it's hard for people to be really excited that you've graduated from college because it is a huge difference and they feel like 'what, you're too good to do what I did?'

Hopefully not!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!

I was thinking that too. Anyways, CONGRATULATIONS!!
post #15 of 21
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

My mom is the same way..she didn't congratulate me when I graduated..not even a card or anything. She told me not to go to college because the bus ride was too far

At least we all have eachother
post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much, all of you. This is all completely unexpected and sweet beyond words.

I am not sure what they are thinking and it is okay. I still love 'em. I will try to make sure all my nieces and nephews get the chance at college. Then have a big, whopping to-do when they finish

post #17 of 21
Congrats!! As one who also took 6 years to finish a degree, I completely understand where you are coming from. It was a long, hard, and difficult road, but one that is well deserved.
I don't think you are being a baby. Graduation is a very big accomplishment and meant to be celebrated with family and friends. Since you stated that you and your sister are first generation graduates from college your family may not be accustomed to what all is entailed into earning a degree. I would just let them know that you would love for them to attend the graduation because it would mean a whole lot to you, but remember, this is also about you and what you have accomplished. It is not something that occurs on a daily basis and is meant to proud of.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

My mom is the same way..she didn't congratulate me when I graduated..not even a card or anything. She told me not to go to college because the bus ride was too far

At least we all have eachother
Oh my! I remember when my sister decided she was going to college. Mom just thought she was being flighty and irresponsible. I think the whole education thing is just a mystery to her. In her mind, graduating high school would have been big enough since she only made it to 9th grade. Ah well.

Good for you for going anyway

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!
post #19 of 21
My parents (and siblings) weren't going to come to my college graduation either, so I didn't go. My husband (boyfriend at the time) wanted to come to my graduation for my second degree but I decided not to go to that one, either.

I guess I'm "lucky" they came to my wedding. My parents were supposed to pick me up and take me to the church but they never showed up. Husband's dad took me instead - it was a little panicky but worked out O.K.

Anyway, who needs them. You did it on your own!
post #20 of 21
Congratulations!!!

I feel for you, though... when my husband got his bachelors degrees, his family threw a big party for him and everything. When I got mine, I didn't get so much as even a card or a dinner. It still hurts. I think they are just mad I took out loans or something.

Give them some time... maybe they'll come around, or maybe they are just waiting until the official ceremony. *hugs*
post #21 of 21
Congrats, what an amazing accomplishment.

And no you are not being a baby - of course you want your family to feel joy in your significant accomplishment. I hope that with time they will be able to appreciate what you have done.
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