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To respond or not to respond...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I know I've mentioned this guy from Taiwan on this site before (maybe once or twice).

Anyways, he started in the same Master's program that I did back in the Fall semester. (He was the guy that got the perm, - it finally grew out)

Maybe I'm just expecting too much at this point. Every semester he emails me 3 days to a week before something is due. The teacher announces these due dates in class as well and the due dates are on blackboard and in the syllabus. Nothing has conflicted yet.

I just received an email from him that I haven't read yet...but it's subject concerns the final exam on Thursday (tomorrow).

I've been nice to him up until last semester when I sat behind him a couple of times in class and saw him on his laptop and on Instant Messenger chatting with other people. I got really irritated when I began noticing it, because sure enough for that same class I received an email from him asking when the final project was due. IMO, this kid is just not paying attention and has learned to depend on me for quick "reminders". Plus after this being our 3rd semester in school (he has actually attended more classes than I) I would expect that he was caught up by now.

Again...maybe I'm just expecting too much....
post #2 of 15
I would stop helping him. Why should you have to do all the work, keeping up with dates, etc? Just start telling him you don't know and he will have to ask someone else.
post #3 of 15
Just pretend you didn't see the email.....
post #4 of 15
Some people, I tell ya! If this guy approaches you before the exam, deny deny deny. lol
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
So I just read the email (curiousity), but did not respond. I don't think I will until AFTER I do my exam.

His email said that he did not go to class last night and was wondering if there was anything important about the final exam.

Umm...her powerpoint slides posted on blackboard tells you ALL you need to know on the final exam.

I wonder who else he does this with when I'm not in a class with him. I really hope that he is not in my last two classes for the program.
post #6 of 15
Email does get lost in cyberspace...Gee, sorry!

If the information is readily available to anyone who pays attention, it's far from your responsibility to hold his hand. It's one thing to be helpful to a new student from abroad, but three semesters later...? He won't learn to look out for himself until he experiences the consequences of not doing so.
post #7 of 15
He is a big boy, let him figure it out on his own. You are not his mama, and you do not hafta take care of him or help him.

I wouldn't say that if it was the first time, but he sounds like he would rather be chatting in class instead of paying attention.
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Yes the first couple of times that it happened I was forgiving because I thought it was the language barrier. However when I saw him chatting in class those few times instead of paying attention, well I was just :angry:

I think I'll wait to respond (if I decide to) until after I take the final
post #9 of 15
He's one of the coat tail riders! I am very familiar with those!

When I was in nursing school I knew I would also have to work a good amount of time to support myself because student loans were just not enough. So I planned ahead.

Three times per week we were on the hospital wards looking after patients. As a student we were responsible for going to the ward the night before and looking at the patient's chart and writing down information and then going home and researching the person's lab tests and their disease and past illnesses etc, so that we knew what to look for with the patient and how to care for them. It was a HUGE amount of work to do!!!

After my first couple of patients I quickly figured out that rather than looking up what each blood test and other type of test was, that I should just make up recipe cards for certain things like:
- what does high white blood cells mean? What causes it?
- What is a potassium level? What is the normal? What happens when it's too high or too low?
- What is a stress test
- What is a muga scan
etc

I figured that rather than looking it all up each time, I would look it up once and write it down and then just pull out the recipe card to read the next time I had a patient who had that.

I also did the same thing for diseases. Many people have a history of pneumonia and high blood pressure and diabetes etc. So instead of looking it up each time I had a patient who had "that", I wrote it on loose leaf and put it into a binder and the next time I had a patient my binder was the first place I went to look up information.

After a few weeks my patient research went from 8 hours to about 45 minutes because it was just a matter of looking through my recipe card index and binder and then reading what I had previously written.

For some amazing reason, I was the ONLY one in my class that thought to do that!

When people got wind of what I had done, you wouldn't believe how many people tried to "be my friend" in order to try and get me to let them photocopy what I had done.

We also had twice weekly labs where we worked on skills. Part of that required having to do an assignment (basically research and answer questions). You had to show the instructor that you had done it. We were given the labs for the full 2 year program at the very beginning.

Because I knew working would be a problem for me and that my time would be very limited, I spent my off hours working ahead on the labs. During Christmas and Spring breaks for first year, I spent my time working through all of my 1st year labs. During summer break before second year, I did all of the second year labs.

While I was doing that, the others were out partying and socializing.

When word got out that I had worked ahead and finished all of the labs for year 1, and then all of the labs for year 2, people were asking me if they could copy mine.

I told them no.

I got tired of people riding my coat tails and trying to benefit from my hard work while they were out galavanting and letting their course work slide. Any one of them could have done what I did but their priorities were vastly different.

So many enter into school with the expectation of breezing through with minium work and that others will pick up the slack.

If I were you I would talk to the guy and tell him how you are feeling. I would give him the information, but I would also let him know that you have seen him spending time on the internet during class time and that he should be paying more attention in class.
post #10 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSULOVER View Post
He is a big boy, let him figure it out on his own. You are not his mama, and you do not hafta take care of him or help him.

I wouldn't say that if it was the first time, but he sounds like he would rather be chatting in class instead of paying attention.
What a wang he is trying to freeload off of you..
post #11 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
He's one of the coat tail riders! I am very familiar with those!

When I was in nursing school I knew I would also have to work a good amount of time to support myself because student loans were just not enough. So I planned ahead.

Three times per week we were on the hospital wards looking after patients. As a student we were responsible for going to the ward the night before and looking at the patient's chart and writing down information and then going home and researching the person's lab tests and their disease and past illnesses etc, so that we knew what to look for with the patient and how to care for them. It was a HUGE amount of work to do!!!

After my first couple of patients I quickly figured out that rather than looking up what each blood test and other type of test was, that I should just make up recipe cards for certain things like:
- what does high white blood cells mean? What causes it?
- What is a potassium level? What is the normal? What happens when it's too high or too low?
- What is a stress test
- What is a muga scan
etc

I figured that rather than looking it all up each time, I would look it up once and write it down and then just pull out the recipe card to read the next time I had a patient who had that.

I also did the same thing for diseases. Many people have a history of pneumonia and high blood pressure and diabetes etc. So instead of looking it up each time I had a patient who had "that", I wrote it on loose leaf and put it into a binder and the next time I had a patient my binder was the first place I went to look up information.

After a few weeks my patient research went from 8 hours to about 45 minutes because it was just a matter of looking through my recipe card index and binder and then reading what I had previously written.

For some amazing reason, I was the ONLY one in my class that thought to do that!

When people got wind of what I had done, you wouldn't believe how many people tried to "be my friend" in order to try and get me to let them photocopy what I had done.

We also had twice weekly labs where we worked on skills. Part of that required having to do an assignment (basically research and answer questions). You had to show the instructor that you had done it. We were given the labs for the full 2 year program at the very beginning.

Because I knew working would be a problem for me and that my time would be very limited, I spent my off hours working ahead on the labs. During Christmas and Spring breaks for first year, I spent my time working through all of my 1st year labs. During summer break before second year, I did all of the second year labs.

While I was doing that, the others were out partying and socializing.

When word got out that I had worked ahead and finished all of the labs for year 1, and then all of the labs for year 2, people were asking me if they could copy mine.

I told them no.

I got tired of people riding my coat tails and trying to benefit from my hard work while they were out galavanting and letting their course work slide. Any one of them could have done what I did but their priorities were vastly different.

So many enter into school with the expectation of breezing through with minium work and that others will pick up the slack.

If I were you I would talk to the guy and tell him how you are feeling. I would give him the information, but I would also let him know that you have seen him spending time on the internet during class time and that he should be paying more attention in class.
That sounds familiar - I am studying microbiology (bacteriology) and I do the labs right away and I get teased for having finished or keeping my lab results up to date and not til the last minute - but it paid off for me, I have done quite well, as I love doing laboratory stuff. Now I get people asking me if I have done the work and if they could have a copy of my notes.

Early on in my studies, my anatomy tutor emphasised "study smarter, not harder" with which you pre-read and read after the class. Since I work funny hours, this method works really well for me and I am not cramming for hours before my exams.

I hate it when people take advantage of you.
post #12 of 15
Pshhhh lol, I'd flat out tell him that I know he doesnt pay attention in class, and im sick of reminding him things, he needs to take responsiblity for himself.
post #13 of 15
NOT TO RESPOND!! Or just wait like you are thinking about doing!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwideus View Post
That sounds familiar - I am studying microbiology (bacteriology) and I do the labs right away and I get teased for having finished or keeping my lab results up to date and not til the last minute - but it paid off for me, I have done quite well, as I love doing laboratory stuff. Now I get people asking me if I have done the work and if they could have a copy of my notes.

Early on in my studies, my anatomy tutor emphasised "study smarter, not harder" with which you pre-read and read after the class. Since I work funny hours, this method works really well for me and I am not cramming for hours before my exams.

I hate it when people take advantage of you.
I am in radiology school, and I am not a procrastinator when it comes to work/studying. I always do all of my objectives as we go, so I don't have to do them the night before the test. During my last finals, I did help one girl who had to work nights full time and go to school. I gave her my notes to study. I don't do that often. I am the only one in my class that has kept all A's. You would think they would learn....
post #14 of 15
lol i would have said

oh man, i was hoping to ask you the same question.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwideus View Post
That sounds familiar - I am studying microbiology (bacteriology) and I do the labs right away and I get teased for having finished or keeping my lab results up to date and not til the last minute - but it paid off for me, I have done quite well, as I love doing laboratory stuff. Now I get people asking me if I have done the work and if they could have a copy of my notes.

Early on in my studies, my anatomy tutor emphasised "study smarter, not harder" with which you pre-read and read after the class. Since I work funny hours, this method works really well for me and I am not cramming for hours before my exams.

I hate it when people take advantage of you.
Yea I had a guy in HS that we swapped notes with each other. The issue was that he kept getting A's in the class and I would get B+s. I finally got irritated that he got better grades, so I would redo my notes with less information on them. His grade still remained the same, but my went up because I rewrote my notes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roimata View Post
Pshhhh lol, I'd flat out tell him that I know he doesnt pay attention in class, and im sick of reminding him things, he needs to take responsiblity for himself.
Wow, you're braver than I!!! actually I should have told him that in the first place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
lol i would have said

oh man, i was hoping to ask you the same question.
That's definitely an idea
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