I'm Speaking Up - Would You?

swampwitch · Jun 20, 2007

Please tell me if you would do the same, and if I am (and am going) to come across as petty or something.

Daughter's school has a program that subsidizes kids for a summer camp for parents who have problems affording camp for their children. The families are chosen by the educators who believe certain children would benefit.

This is all good and I firmly believe in it. BUT there is one family who has been chosen for the subsidy and they are definitely NOT in need of it. In fact, they own three houses in the city (valued at $500K each), the father has two jobs including his own business, and the mother gets a full disability check every month. In fact, they are laughing about getting this "help" because they think it's funny people think they don't have money.

I think it is very unfair to give the subsidy to this family, since that means a truly deserving family won't get it. I'm not speaking up for myself, we don't want/need it.

I've already spoken with one educator, and I have a meeting set for another. What would you do? Should I continue to speak up or just let it go?

larussa · Jun 20, 2007

I would definitely speak up about this only for the fact that a family who really is in need won't get the subsidy. There are times to be quiet but this is not the time, speak up.

gingersmom · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by LaRussa

I would definitely speak up about this only for the fact that a family who really is in need won't get the subsidy. There are times to be quiet but this is not the time, speak up.

This steams me. It is because of people like that who ABUSE such resources that those in the most need don't benefit as they should.

I wouldn't just speak up, I'd contact the local media!

lunasmom · Jun 20, 2007

Yup all the above speak up.

I had a friend like that in high school. She came from a family of 8, but her dad made EXCELLENT money from the city. She was always able to receive free school trips based on the fact that teachers thought her family of 8 meant that she was poor. The family never said anything or laughed, like in your case, but they did take the money.

IMO I think there should be some form of background check in regards to funds received for students. Nothing heavy like investigating IRS tax forms, but some form of check.

alleygirl · Jun 20, 2007

I would definitely speak up and I would question the system they use to decide who gets this help. Seems like they aren't doing their research.

mirinae · Jun 20, 2007

I pretty much agree with your point of view, but if this family receives the subsidy, do they have to send their child to this camp or can they spend the money in any way they please? Is it possible that the school has chosen this family not because they can't afford to send their child (when obviously, they can) but because their child is desperately in need of attending this camp (and the parents wouldn't send him/her otherwise)?

I'm not sure that this would make it right that this undeserving family would be given the chance while others won't, but if the child is deserving (or, at least, in need) that might make it more tolerable ... It still sucks that another, more appreciative family wont' get the opportunity, though.

adymarie · Jun 20, 2007

If they get it, then a family who deserves and needs it won't so I say speak up. Good luck getting people to listen!

lakeriedog · Jun 20, 2007

I would say something about it, but mirinae brought up a great point that is worth exploring.

swampwitch · Jun 20, 2007

They aren't getting actual money, just the free two-week camp. I honestly don't know if their kid needs the camp for some reason. It's my understanding that the school district developed the summer camp for kids who cannot afford to go anywhere during the summer. I know another (deserving) family who got the subsidy and their daughter is super-smart, so it can't be a "summer school" type of thing.

My husband just told me to let it go, since I've already talked to one person. I really don't want to come across as petty or vindictive. But maybe I am.

mom of 4 · Jun 20, 2007

The US offers "Free and Reduced" cost breakfasts and lunches to the students of family who qualify. They are approved based on the info put on the form. The government only permits a random 10% of the applicants be asked for proof that they gave correct info. If the info can't be verified, the students are removed from the program.
It ticks me off that people apply and qualify while taking cruises, going to WDW or making purchases that prove they aren't "needy." I know some of the families used only one income on the forms and falsify the tax return if they don't file separately.
The Free and Reduced statis qualifies them for lots of programs - a set of new clothes (summer and winter outfits, shoes, winter coat and light jacket), backpacks & school supplies, free week at camp for the 5th graders and so on. If they are really struggling, I want them to get the help. If not, give it to someone who does need it. There are lots of families with parents who get laid off, who would never ask for help.

xxtashaxx · Jun 20, 2007

i felt the same way with something that happend at my childrens school. and belive me i spoke up.
my children have an after school club mainly for parents who work a bit late or cant get to the school for 3.30pm. for parents who are not on benfits its costs £20.00 per child per week. which is good.
and for parents who are on benfits it costs nothing , which is fair enough.
my problem with it was one of the mums around the school who didnt work and only lived across the road from the school on benfits due to the fact she didnt declar her partner living with her, put all 4 of her children in the after school club * she said she wanted a bit more piece dinner then bed for them)
but when i needed a place for my 2 children when i started a new job there was no places avilable. that really p**** me off. so i had sometime done , i didnt care if that was pitty of me it wasnt fair for those who really needed the after school club.

icklemiss21 · Jun 20, 2007

I would day something, there are probably people who need it a lot more out there who are not getting the help they need, and you can't always rely on the educator to pass on the message.

katl8e · Jun 20, 2007

When Mark was a kid, the school took me to task, because I didn't apply for the free breakfast/lunch program. At the time, I was newly widowed, collecting a VA pension AND Social Security survivors' benefits. I was well able to afford to feed Mark and myself but, the school DEMANDED that I apply. I told them, in NO uncertain terms, that we did NOT need this and to give it to someone who DID.

The schools get these subsidies and, if they don't distribute ALL of the money, they have to give back thw surplus and get less, the next year. That may be why this "undeserving" family is getting the subsidy.

phenomsmom · Jun 20, 2007

I would speak up. Definately another kid would benefit from this aid more that the family that is receiving it. Kudos to you for stepping up and pointing out that they don't need the financial aid!

mirinae · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

They aren't getting actual money, just the free two-week camp. I honestly don't know if their kid needs the camp for some reason. It's my understanding that the school district developed the summer camp for kids who cannot afford to go anywhere during the summer. I know another (deserving) family who got the subsidy and their daughter is super-smart, so it can't be a "summer school" type of thing.

My husband just told me to let it go, since I've already talked to one person. I really don't want to come across as petty or vindictive. But maybe I am.

I honestly don't think you're being vindictive -- it sounds to me like you're genuinely concerned that someone more deserving would make better use of this camp than the kid who's actually getting it, and I think it's important that someone out there speak up for that "someone more deserving."

My thoughts, though, wasn't that it was like "summer school," but more like "finding things for kids at risk to do." I mean, if the family is so awful as to find it hilarious that they're getting to send their kid to camp for free when they can so easily afford it and others can't ... well, maybe it's fair to say that their kid can use all the help he/she can get, and would qualify as being an "at-risk" kid. Or if the kid lives in an area with a high level of gang activity, then likewise he/she might be viewed as being more "at-risk" than other kids (whose families may be more financially deserving). We have similar programs where I live, which is what made me think of it.

lunasmom · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

My husband just told me to let it go, since I've already talked to one person. I really don't want to come across as petty or vindictive. But maybe I am.

No, I think you just want what's fair and right for everyone. You see one family taking advantage of the system and it could be preventing another family who would love to have the opportunity to go.

dragoriana · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Please tell me if you would do the same, and if I am (and am going) to come across as petty or something.

I dont think that's petty at all. You are speaking on behalf of all the parents who need the subsidy. I would be extremely irked if someone not only got it when they could afford everything they need, but laughing it all off in front of other people. Keep speaking up, i hope it gets somewhere!

natalie_ca · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

This is all good and I firmly believe in it. BUT there is one family who has been chosen for the subsidy and they are definitely NOT in need of it. In fact, they own three houses in the city (valued at $500K each), the father has two jobs including his own business, and the mother gets a full disability check every month. In fact, they are laughing about getting this "help" because they think it's funny people think they don't have money.

Have you heard them make light of the situation themselves or is it just something you heard from someone?

Also, while they may have money, it doesn't sound like they have very much time to spend with their child, let alone take her camping or anywhere else for that matter.

I can see why you would be upset about the fact that these people are 'rich' and are being allowed access to something that was set up to help lower income families, but putting that aside, she is still a little girl and should have the chance to do something fun in the summer too.

I'm sure that her personal situation isn't "all that" from the way you describe her father as being a work-a-holic and her mother doesn't sound like she has good health given that she's on disability.

carolpetunia · Jun 20, 2007

If you have any doubts about whether speaking up would do harm to the little girl in question, rather than just right a wrong regarding her family's financial standing... then maybe the thing to do is ask to speak to the person in charge of choosing participants and ask how he/she determines which families are "needy" and which aren't. Depending on the response, you might then be able to tell whether you ought to bring up this particular family's situation or not.

But no, you are not being petty! Resources should be provided to those who need them... and that's all you're trying to ensure.

lsulover · Jun 20, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Please tell me if you would do the same, and if I am (and am going) to come across as petty or something.

Daughter's school has a program that subsidizes kids for a summer camp for parents who have problems affording camp for their children. The families are chosen by the educators who believe certain children would benefit.

This is all good and I firmly believe in it. BUT there is one family who has been chosen for the subsidy and they are definitely NOT in need of it. In fact, they own three houses in the city (valued at $500K each), the father has two jobs including his own business, and the mother gets a full disability check every month. In fact, they are laughing about getting this "help" because they think it's funny people think they don't have money.

I think it is very unfair to give the subsidy to this family, since that means a truly deserving family won't get it. I'm not speaking up for myself, we don't want/need it.

I've already spoken with one educator, and I have a meeting set for another. What would you do? Should I continue to speak up or just let it go?

Yep, I would definately speak up about it, there is probably some child who is more deserving of it, but won't get it because of these people. Money talks, always has, and always will.

I'm Speaking Up - Would You?

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