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Farewell to the little gray cat

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
In the end, it just didn’t work out. The little gray cat’s introduction wasn’t successful. Two-thirds successful at best, considering Mellie and Twinkie. But ongoing problems between the little gray cat and Rocket led me to decide to return her to the Humane Society from whence she was adopted a little over a month ago.

She’s really a wonderful cat with people. All you could want in a cat who’s relaxed, friendly and affectionate. Who enjoys being held and cared for. Who will allow you to do what needs to be done to take care of a cat. A cat who enjoys and desires the full attention of her human.

But she’s very defensive toward other cats. Hissing, growling, snarling, even screaming. Unable to share her human’s attention with the other cats. Eventually she came to terms with Mellie and Twinkie, but didn’t make satisfactory progress with Rocket. Maybe she would have eventually; I think I saw some progress over the last couple of days.

But I’ve been on this roller-coaster before – progressing and backsliding, progressing and backsliding, and eventually getting nowhere. Meanwhile a great deal of time, energy, money, and emotion gets invested and then eventually when the facts are faced, it’s a very traumatic separation. It’s time to cut losses and get on with things. That’s the best way to deal with failures. Put them behind and move on.

This time I decided beforehand that if I didn’t clearly see within 30 days that the new cat would fit in with the group then that would be it. And it’s past 30 days already. A cat with this face -- these huge, golden eyes, and huge, soft and expressive ears, silky-smooth fur – should be very easy to find another home for. Hopefully a quiet home where she’s the only cat.

Perhaps my introduction focussed too much on my own cats and not enough on her. That’s reasonable, considering my previous experience with introducing a new cat to Mellie. But suprisingly, Mellie wasn’t the main problem this time. I think it was the new cat herself. And since I couldn’t be on both sides of the door, my time with her got short shrift.

Even with the little gray cat gone, the problems I brought about by her adoption will persist and likely be a challenge to remediate: Rocket’s spraying. He was allowed to go outdoors to relieve his need to spray in response to the little gray cat. Once spraying begins, I understand that it’s very difficult to stop. And also very difficult to bring an outdoor cat indoors.

So now my efforts will have to be focussed on restoring my little three-cat family to a pre-little-gray-cat world, as best as can be achieved.

So, farewell little gray cat. You’re quite the cat. I enjoyed your time here. Maybe even Twinkie enjoyed it a little toward the end. I’m sure you’ll find a wonderful life somewhere. I just hope you’re not too upset having to spend some more time in a cage. I’d ask you to just be patient, but knowing that’s not one of your strong points – is it for any cat – I won’t. I’d just ask you to remember they we all tried our best, and that’s all we can do. And I’ll give you something to remember us by – at long last – the name we might have called you by: Pennifeather.
post #2 of 8
post #3 of 8
Tim...that is so sad.
I hope that Little Gray Cat finds a loving home soon.
If I were you, I might just stick with the kitties I already have and enjoy their company to the max.
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 
That's the plan, Lei -- at least for the moment.
post #5 of 8
That sounds so heartbreaking...at least you tried, and hopefully, the gray cat will find a forever home soon
post #6 of 8
the sad fact is that thousands of cats with that face, sily fur and huge eyes never find homes. I hope your does. I have a cat who hates another one of my cats. It will be a year in August since he came home and only now can I see some progress. Sometimes it takes more than a month.
post #7 of 8
A month isn't long at all.

I'm bringing a new kitten home in just under 2 weeks, and i already have two girls aged 5 and 3 years but i'll be doing the intros slowly.

Kerry the behaviourist here told me that it can take from 4 weeks to 5 months for them to all accept each other, but no matter how long it takes we'll all ride the storm until we get there.

I truly hope she can find a loving home.
post #8 of 8
I am very sad to read this, as I have been following your journal this whole time. I understand everyone has their own beliefs about this, and I am in no way putting you down for what you did. I just feel that you should have stuck it out a little longer, not every cat bonds the second they meet and it does take time! Just find someone on TCS that has like 10 cats, and ask them if all their cats get along! I'm sure they don't, or at least it took awhile for them to tolerate each other! Maybe it's best for your family, I don't know, but that's just my opinion! I hope the little gray cat finds a home soon!
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