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update on Baby's consultation :-(

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone.

Baby went to see the surgeon yesterday for a consultation. (this is
regarding my post from last week - "PLEASE help - need advice about
surgery" - adenocarcinoma in colin).

I brought his medicine with him, his favorite toy, etc, in case I
decided to go with the surgery and leave him there after the appt.

Well, Baby came home with me.

I can't stop crying. I really hope that I made the right decision. The
surgeon did not seem to be recommending one way or the other. He said
it would be a "challenge" trying to remove the whole tumor, as it is
big now :-( He also said he would be cutting very close to the
urethra, and if he hit any nerves, Baby may become incontinent as far
as going to the bathroom. The incontinency is what really made my
decision I think. He said it could last just a couple days, or it
could be permanent. He said the chances of some type of incontinency
were 80% - 90%. Now I don't know how much of that would be temporary
and what percentage would be permanent - I think he said there was a
50/50 chance of it being permanent. But I just can't imagine his
quality of life if he was going both types of bathroom all over the
house. And putting him in a diaper doesn't seem comfortable. Do they
even stay on cats or do they pull them off? Human babies have skin and
it's easy to clean - but my kitty has fur and I guess I would pretty
much need to completely clean him each time? It's not a matter of me
not wanting to do it - I would if I thought he would be happy, but I
just don't know if that would be a happy life for him. And to wear a
diaper after 14 years - I feel like he would be so confused :-( And IF
they removed all the cancer, what happens if it comes back? Do you do
it all over again? Do you keep giving him surgeries over and over? If
it was a simple surgery not involving this nerve issue, I think I
would feel much differently. The surgeon said if the tumor was just an
inch to the left or right of where it is, the situation would be
completely different. I sit here at night and wonder why god (or
whoever)couldnt have made it and inch different in location, for a
more simple surgery. I just want to do what is best for him. His lymph
nodes are also enlarged, and they aren't sure it it's his bodies
response to the cancer, or if it's actually cancer that has spread to
the lymph nodes. The surgeon says he has a couple months left at
best(without surgery) and that we are looking at the end of the summer
:-( I can't stop crying and I hope I am doing the right thing. I am
afraid that he would go through all of this and then if it has spread
to his lymph nodes anyways, it may not make much of a difference. I
did call Cornell and consult an oncologist over the phone. Given the
situation, she was pro surgery, but she said she didn't think the
incontinence would really be an issue. So as far as the cancer, she
recommended the surgery. Unfortunately I think the surgeon would know
better though as far as the nerves he might hit, and he has also seen
the cat, etc. I am glad I consulted with the oncologist, but a lot of
the decision comes down to the possibility of hitting these nerves. It
breaks my heart, as I have had him since I was 11 years old. I even
got an apt after my first year of college and he live with me during
college. He has been through EVERYTHING with me. I cannot imagine
things without him. I pray that I am doing the right thing and that I
can spoil him and make his last time here comfortable and enjoyable.
This hurts so much... thanks to all of you for your advice and

- Baby's Mom

"let it slide...
let your troubles fall behind you,
let it shine...
until you feel it all around you.
and i don't mind...
if it's me you need to turn to,
we'll get by...
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made,
in these small hours...
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate...
time falls away,
but these small hours...
these small hours still remain."
- Rob Thomas, "Small Wonders"
post #2 of 11
I really feel for you going through this with Baby. If it were my cat, I would probably feel the same, even though it is a heartbreaking decision. But you are thinking of the welfare of your cat, and that is the right way to go. It is too easy to be selfish and ignore the questions of quality of life, which you have considered very carefully. But my heart goes out to you, and I hope you and Baby have it easy for whatever time is left.
post #3 of 11
For what it's worth, I think you made the correct decision. I have a 14 year old cat as well....I have had her since she was 3 months old.
I think whats important now is her quality of life, if she is comfortable and not in pain.

The surgery will cause pain while she is recovering and there is not a 100% that there will not be negative side effects. I personally would just make her comfy and happy.

BTW....I would not blame anyone as well for making the choice for surgery... this is just my opinion for this poster.
post #4 of 11
I also agree that quality of life is very important. It's a difficult decision for you but you have thought it through and I would probably make the same decision as you. I think this kitty knows how special he is and has been to you.
post #5 of 11
You and Baby are in my thoughts and prayers.
post #6 of 11
I will keep you and Baby in my prayers
post #7 of 11
=( As sad as it is, I agree with your decision. I wish things could be different, but all things happen for a reason.. we just don't know what it is yet.
post #8 of 11
We had a dog with a peri-anal tumor about 3 years ago. He was only 10 years old, but for a dog of his size, that was old. The vet told me the same thing. We brought him home, given a time frame about of 2-4 weeks with him. He made it over 6 months. We euthanized him the day after Easter. It was hard, but he would've been miserable if he became incotinent. He had 6 wonderful months, got to go places he'd never been before, eat whatever he wanted. He got spoiled completely rotten. And I do not regret the decision we made one bit.

post #9 of 11
My thoughts are with you and Baby. Enjoy your precious moments with him and know that you are making the right decision for him.
post #10 of 11
I know this has been very difficult for you but I think you made the right decision. Quality of life for Baby is important.

Treasure him and enjoy him for whatever time he has left. Hugs to both of you.
post #11 of 11
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I am going through something similar at the moment and can really relate. Also, with my older cat, I had to make tough decisions. We had to put her through needles every day just to keep her fluids up because her kidney was failing. She became better for a while, but went right downhill again. We could have put her down, but I chose to have her pass away in comfort. She died in my arms and that was definately the hardest thing for me to experience, but I did it for her, so that she would feel loved to the very last moment.

It's going to be so hard, but stay strong for your little one. The love you show him will make his last days so much better. Stay strong. It's a tough road, but from what I read, you love him very much and there is no reason to feel bad about something you cannot truly control.
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