Thanks, GoldenKitty! That makes perfect sense... and come to think of it, I guess I really don't need to detangle the roots, at least not if I brush it well before washing and don't scrub too wildly!
The conditioners I've been using: there's a really nice cream that comes with the Hydrience hair color, and I try to make that last awhile after each coloring... and when that runs out, I've got --
Well, I just had to go look at the bottle, that shows you how much thought I've put into this!
It's something my mom bought: Pantene Hydrating Curls in the giant economy you-better-like-it-'cause-you're-never-going-to-run-out-of-it size.
And you've already said that Pantene is waxy! So no wonder I've got trouble with my fine, flat hair...