Bonding with a cat...

I know that I've posted about my beloved Sassy passing away.
She was the one that I had a special bond with. She'd make me laugh, sometimes a little mad at her, (when she ate a bird) and she would enjoy being with me. She'd sit on my lap and wanted me to carry her like a baby, looking soooo cute. She was very special.
Well, now I have Mixy and Tom. They don't bond with me like she did. As soon as I finish giving them diner, they just walk away, sometimes to the neighbor's house. They don't like to be carried, nor hugged, like Sassy did.
I went to the animal shelter las week and I saw a few young kittys that were acting like she used to.
Biting my fingers and wanting me to touch them.
Does anybody think that it is a bad idea to go and get one that has an attitude like Sassy's? I still miss being outside and she runing with me and playing with me.
Would I be "betraying" Sassy by getting a new kitty? I don't want her to replace her but I miss having that special little friend.
Thanks.
Angie

You wouldn't betray her, you'd honor her! They say that people who've lost spouses from very happy marriages are the ones who end up remarrying the soonest, because they want 'more' of the same, and if she loved you as much as you loved her, she'd want you to be happy again too. Go for it!

Originally Posted by Larke

You wouldn't betray her, you'd honor her! They say that people who've lost spouses from very happy marriages are the ones who end up remarrying the soonest, because they want 'more' of the same, and if she loved you as much as you loved her, she'd want you to be happy again too. Go for it!

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I concur, wholeheartedly!

I had SUCH a hard time with this one, too....and Ashie JUST died on the first. I was DEVASTATED (I still am), but I had this "need" to GIVE love to a cat and to GET it back...that was my need.....not to actually REPLACE Ashie...just fulfill something that was missing physically.

We did get two from the Humane Society late last week and they are really NOTHING like Ashie....AT ALL. They both love to be loved and patted and that like she did, but overall, they are very different from each other and from Ashie. I don't have that bond with them...and in fact, I cannot even name them because I just don't know if I am ready to bond with them like I had with Ash. That doesn't mean I don't care for them or anything like that....I just think it will take time.

You cannot expect to find a cat that is going to be like your other cat to the match. You may find one that is similar in behaviorisms, but they won't be a clone...and you can't expect that. It wouldn't be fair to you or to another cat. I am trying to accept that, as well......

But as far as getting another one, don't beat yourself up for it. You need to take care of you, too.....and we all have different needs. what may be right to one person may not be right for another. Some people would never get another one out of fear of heartbreak again.....or they may wait a longer time. Others (like me) brought two home on the day I brought Ashie home in an urn.

It is just about what you need!!! But again....don't try and expect another cat to be just like the one you lost!

Thanks for your adivce. I really appreciate it.
Angie

I was very lucky. Not long after my soul-mate Divot went to the Bridge, I learned about a cat who was about to be pts. She was abandoned by her former people and spent 7 months in a cage at a vet's office. She was in another state, but luckily someone was able to bring her here. She was nothing at all like my dear Divot, but she desparately needed a home. She still would prefer not to be touched, talked to or looked at, but she is making progress very slowly. I truly believe that Divot saw her need and knew she would be loved in his house.

You have to follow your heart. You will never find a cat like Ashie; she was one in a million. But she can guide you so that your love can help another needy kitty. Loads of luck to you.

Well, cats aren't particularly social... looks like yours are treating you like a fellow cat! Cats are solitary hunters, you know--their survival doesn't particularly depend on how social they are; and your cats are basically peacefully sharing territory with you--kind of like roommates. Not that they aren't comfortable to have around--it's a nice thing to see a cat curled up in a patch of sun, or greeting you at the door.

Sure, get another cat, if you're sure you'll still be able to support and take care of her, and if you know you'll still be kind to your less social cats.

Naturally nobody can ever replace your special cat, and the bond will be different... but if you want a lap cat, and yours aren't lap cats, what's to keep you for looking for a cat who wants more attention than your current ones? There's nothing betraying about it--there are so many cats in need of good homes, and yours is a good home. Sounds like a match to me.

Thanks. I know that there are many wonderful cats out there in need of a home but you are right, no one cat is replaceable.
Mcat, how wonderful that you have this kitty!
Wish you all the best.
Angie