I think I hate myself (long)

Originally Posted by adymarie

Can it be post partum when he is 13 months old?

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Yes it can be

y hubby would help if he knew - he is amazing with the kids, but DR told him that he is a prime candidate for a heart attack right now and he must reduce his stress and anxiety. He works a very physically demanding job and I am afraid for his health.

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Helping with his child could also be stress reducing I'm not saying to saddle him with the whole job of looking at the child, but to take his turn helping, even if it's once in the night so that you can get a bit more sleep instead of constantly being interupted.

I think you really need to speak to a doctor about not only the possibility of post partum depression, but also about your child's inability to sleep for extended periods of time.

At 13 months your child should be sleeping more than he is. He should be on solids now (IE: cereals and some fruits and veggies). Talk to the doctor and see if he's getting enough food. Perhaps he's hungry all of the time. Also maybe he's lactose intolerant and is having pain from milk/dairy. It could also be that he's developed a "habit" and knows that when he cries you come running and he gets attention. Sometimes letting a child cry is a necessary thing, especially when it's become a habit.

Originally Posted by adymarie

Thanks - I think next week I will speak with our Wellness department at work. If they can't help me they will make sure I get pointed to the right resources.

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That's a good idea

Ady you in no way are a bad mom. You car enough to come and ask for help. That says alot.

I don't have any kids so I can't really give any advice but I have learned a thing or wo from my frineds who have kids. Seeing a doctor should be priority number one. Maybe talk with your husband and see if it is possable to brng in a wet nurse at noght to help deal with him, especialy after your surgery. I also have learned from one girl whos baby girl was very simalar when it came to teething. She hated everything her mom gave her untill mom gave her a frozen bagel. It sounds weird but it worked. She used her daughers favorite flcor and just let her go to town. The cold soothed the pain, the dough soaked up the slober and the kid loved the taste. It saved her life.

I have no children and know nothing at all -- but I have a vague idea that as long as you're breastfeeding, there are special hormones active in your system, and those hormones might contribute to your sleeplessness and emotional fragility. I may be 'way off base here... but I think I read something about that once.

If I'm right, then maybe you just need to go ahead with the weaning as quickly as you can. Thirteen months is plenty, as I understand it. And once you're done with breastfeeding, your doctor will have more freedom to prescribe something to help you cope, too, since you wouldn't have to worry about it showing up in the milk.

You did exactly the right thing by talking to someone about this near-miss you had... and that makes you a GREAT mom, not a bad one.

I know what you are going through fully,i have 3 kids 11 months apart and my youngest had colic.It is great you are going to seek out help and look for resources it helped me alot(i was ready to break soon).
So grats to you for being such a great mother


Sorry about all the face thingys i love them hehe

Please don't beat yourself up over this. Not all will admit to it, but there is not a mother in the world that has not at least thought about shaking their kids to make them be quiet. I know how hard sleep deprivation is on all your systems, and you still have to keep on going with everyday life. I hope you take some good advice that you have been given ad do something for yourself. It will help the whole household if you are not always stressed and sleep deprived. Things get better after the teeth come through. I hope all your family is back on track health wise very soon. You know you have all of us pulling for you.

I agree that you need to talk with your doctor about his diet. By 13 months he should be sleeping through the night and not need any feeding. Some warm milk (not yours!) at bedtime should be enough to get him to sleep. But do not beat yourself up, you are obviously a caring mother who only wants what is best for her child.

routine is a must,with out one your adding more stress to your life

Reduce sugar in take.

How many naps does he take during the day, it may be to much
Hr may not need but one nap
Reduce naps this way he is tired come bed time.

I do snack, bath and bed NO play time at or near bed time I also start dimming lights or shutting lights off near bed time it lets my son know it is getting close to bedtime

What about white noise? I know my son wont sleep with out his fan being on
If all else fails try putting a small TV in there that you can pop in a video and hopefully he will fall asleep during the movie.At least you will get some sleep.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have any advice, but I am glad you are seeking some help for this issue. It's going to set a great example for your child if you seek help when you need it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that this works it self out.

Ady, you definately aren't a bad mother and you are definately not alone!

When my son was six months old, I faced a similar situation and I was completely alone in the city. My boyfriend, now Dh, had moved a month ahead of me to our new town for work and my son cried for hours on end and I was just so tired and had tried everything but nothing had worked and I wanted to just make it stop. At that point I placed my son safely in his crib and shut the door and took 10 minutes just to be alone and breath - for his sake and mine.


I would suggest to you to seek a doctor's opinion. My son started having terrible ear aches when he teethed and that was his problem. It's worth a shot anyways. My son hates sleeping by himself, but I find that if I shut all the lights out and sit on a chair or on the floor closer to the bed but don't talk or make eye contact then my son eventually calmes down and goes to sleep. I saw it on one of those nanny shows and decided to try it and it worked. The thing is, you start close to the bed or crib on the first night and then each night gradually move farther and father away until you don't have to anymore. It takes a lot at first but helps a lot down the line.

I really hope that you can figure something out! Sending you a lot of hugs!!!

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Yes it can be

Helping with his child could also be stress reducing

I'm not saying to saddle him with the whole job of looking at the child, but to take his turn helping, even if it's once in the night so that you can get a bit more sleep instead of constantly being interupted.

I think you really need to speak to a doctor about not only the possibility of post partum depression, but also about your child's inability to sleep for extended periods of time.

At 13 months your child should be sleeping more than he is. He should be on solids now (IE: cereals and some fruits and veggies). Talk to the doctor and see if he's getting enough food. Perhaps he's hungry all of the time. Also maybe he's lactose intolerant and is having pain from milk/dairy. It could also be that he's developed a "habit" and knows that when he cries you come running and he gets attention. Sometimes letting a child cry is a necessary thing, especially when it's become a habit.

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Thanks for the advice. The World Health Organization suggests some breast feeding up to 3 years old for the best health of the baby. He only gets the breast up to 4 times in a 24 hour period. The rest of the time he eats and drinks regular food. He loves all meat product and any fruit. He has a few issues with vegies, but we are increasing them. I think he eats almost as much as I do! At least he did at dinner last night - he had pork loin, baby potatoes, corn, with strawberries for dessert! He loves apple juice and he gets a nutritional supplement Enfagrow, in case he misses any nutrients in his diet. Both of my boys aren't fond of milk (except ice cream) and so drink more of the Enfagrow.

I am doing much better today. Both D-Man and I got a little more sleep this weekend. DH also took both boys out to play on Saturday and I was able to get an hour to myself. it was nice. Yesterday my parents came over so the boys played with grandma and I was able to get a few things done.

Thank you - everyone for all of your kind words and support. As I said I was afraid to post about this, but I am now glad I did. I am definately going to try some of the suggestions everyone has posted!

Originally Posted by adymarie

Both of my boys aren't fond of milk (except ice cream) and so drink more of the Enfagrow.

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Enfagrow contains milk protein, so if you boy has a milk protein allergy, that could be causing him some problems.

Have you had him tested for allergies? It might be something to consider.

Scroll down and you can see the allergy information towards the bottom:

http://www.enfagrow.ca/en/products/liquid.html
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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Enfagrow contains milk protein, so if you boy has a milk protein allergy, that could be causing him some problems.

Have you had him tested for allergies? It might be something to consider.

Scroll down and you can see the allergy information towards the bottom:

http://www.enfagrow.ca/en/products/liquid.html
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.
.

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Thanks - I don't think he does - you should see him with ice cream - he is happy for hours and hours after ice cream. He actually just seems happieer, but responsible parenting doesn't including feeding a kid ice cream everyday! He only gets it as a rare treat!