Dear Friends,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year (and since you have) I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all
gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem!
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the
10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords a leaping have knocked up the 8 maids
a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird
things to the 7 swans a-swimming.
The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and
the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird poop.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer
are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation, and some people who
can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January!!!!
Maybe next year I will be able to get my crap together and bring you the
things you want. This year I suggest you get your butts down to K-mart
before everything is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year (and since you have) I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all
gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem!
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the
10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords a leaping have knocked up the 8 maids
a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird
things to the 7 swans a-swimming.
The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and
the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird poop.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer
are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation, and some people who
can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January!!!!
Maybe next year I will be able to get my crap together and bring you the
things you want. This year I suggest you get your butts down to K-mart
before everything is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
