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Need to vent, but need some advice as well!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Ok so you all know about my moms surgery, well all is going well with that We just have to make sure her incision doesnt open or anyhting and that it doesnt get infected!

But here is my dilema, my eldest brother wants me to go to Ocean City, MD on vacation with them Now to be honest why would you want someone to go on your family vaca, you know what I mean...and its not this sunday but the next for when he wants to leave! Now let me give you more detail, 3 kids ages 2,3 and 7, him and his wife and then me! Now I have a feeling they want me to go so they could go out Now he claims this is my graduation present, ok but listen to this, he has me in a room with all of the kids and him and the wife in another room! Now that there should really explain why he wants me to go on this vaca so bad you know! He also told me I need money to take, now were am I supposed to get that, I have been taking care of my mom and still am

But my gram yelled at him (she does that often) And well it goes in one ear and out the other! But he also asked my MOM to take care of the animals at his house, now she is only allowed down the steps ONCE a day, how is she supposed to go to his house too And well my gram already told him she cant because well shes taken her vaca last week to take care of my mom!

Also they only seem to talk to me when the need a babysitter which already makes me mad enough you know!

Also the week we are supposed to go on vaca I have to go to the doctors and thats my moms first doctors appointment since her surgery and she will find out what she can and cant do! The doc already said she doesnt want my mom by herself you know!

Sooo anyone have any advice for this situation, for a brother that doesnt listen to reasoning, or anyone for that matter! What are ur opinions on this situation!

You know..I would have been happy with a tattoo or piercing
post #2 of 16
ummm honestly? Sounds like he wants a babysitter. He may have convinced himself it is a nice thing to do for you, but sounds like you know him well enough. If it were a graduation gift, you wouldn't need to bring your own money OR share a room with HIS children. Not really fair.

If it were me, and it isn't , I would stay home with mom and the critters. Sounds like that is where your heart really is. Good luck - try not to cave in!
post #3 of 16
I second that. No need to leave home just to be a babysitter, you have your hands full enough already.

Tell him you'll pass since your mother needs you and maybe you'll go with them another time. Try not to accuse him of only wanting to use you as a babysitter, it might start an arguement.
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie1965 View Post
ummm honestly? Sounds like he wants a babysitter. He may have convinced himself it is a nice thing to do for you, but sounds like you know him well enough. If it were a graduation gift, you wouldn't need to bring your own money OR share a room with HIS children. Not really fair.

If it were me, and it isn't , I would stay home with mom and the critters. Sounds like that is where your heart really is. Good luck - try not to cave in!
O no, I didnt even think of leaving the kits for a week I havent been away from them for more than 2 days!

See my mom even says its a babysitting job, which I figured from the begining...the odd thing is is that he told everyone before ME I was told by my mom and she thought I knew about it The hard thing about it though is everytime they are around he says "is Amanda going on vacation with u ___(insert childs name)"

You know what I really want from them for graduation is MY CAMERA, or at least a replacement! That thing we will be paying on for YEARS! $400 camera, and I am never going to see those photos But I found out that who we all think stole it (3 different suspects) my SIL has become best friends with

Also for the wedding, I didnt even get a THANK YOU for all ur help my brother got a thank you card for the money he gave which my mom made him give, and for helping out with the wedding and the only thing my other brother did was go to the wedding and be best man! There i was babysitting every weekend since March, helping find stuff online, helping decorate, and getting my camera stolen!

Any one wanna buy my brothers

Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
I second that. No need to leave home just to be a babysitter, you have your hands full enough already.

Tell him you'll pass since your mother needs you and maybe you'll go with them another time. Try not to accuse him of only wanting to use you as a babysitter, it might start an arguement.
Heres the funny thing, I did actually say something about him only wanting me to go to babysit...and well thats when he said nu uh, u get ur own room.....with the kids I was like WHAT!
post #5 of 16
umm no! I have 3 younger brothers of my own. Sounds like he is working the kids to make sure you go. But, I am the oldest so the dynamics are a bit different When it gets down to the nitty gritty, I am da boss

Your brothers don't deserve you! Hopefully someday they will grow up a bit more and see how lucky they are to have you as a sister
post #6 of 16
Yeah, sounds like he's looking for a babysitter/nanny for his kids.

I'd pass if I were you.
post #7 of 16
I'd pass if I were you. You would have more of a vacation taking care of your mom then going with him and taking care of his kids. Hate to say it, but your brother sounds like a user. You need to be with your mom right now, she needs you.

Good luck saying no.
post #8 of 16
I'd pass, he wants a babysitter, I'd stay home and take care of my mom and don't let him use the kids to soften you up! Say NO and mean it!
Better yet tell him you'll take the money he would have spent on you for this vacation and see what he says
post #9 of 16
If my memory serves me correctly, you have difficulty saying no to your brother. You let him bully you into doing what he wants you to do. I'd like to see you stand up to him this time and just say NO. He's pretty selfish (as we already know) and doesn't really much care whether your mom needs you or not. I hope you make the right decision.
post #10 of 16
If it wasn't for your mom and if you had the money I would say go...it's a week at the beach BUT right now, your mom needs you. Tell him exactly that. If he doesn't understand that your mom needs your help more than he needs a babysitter that is his problem. Sounds like he's pretty selfish to me.
post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 
Well I told my mom today and she asked me if I was sure, I was weighing the pros and cons, and let me say there is a lot more cons ! But my mom keeps saying she will be fine, but here she is not able to bend over or anything, I just rrelized whos going to feed the kits or my gunieas, or my bunni So we are going to see what happens

Lets keep our fingers crossed that this works and there is no family fued

Lets face it, I Ocean City, and havent been there for a few years, but I didnt plan on going with 3 kids, 2 being so small and at that age were they dont listen
post #12 of 16
I think he is definitely looking for a free babysitter. I would stay home with mom and the kitties

If he wanted a kid-free vacation he should have made other arrangements for the kids at home, or find a babysitting service at the hotel or something.
post #13 of 16
If you really want to go, I would ask for money. It isn't fair to your mom either. Your mom is probably telling you to go cause your excited & cause mom's don't like to be taken care of at such a young age.

I wouldn't even think about it and just say NO if it was me.
post #14 of 16
Wise decision. Tell him you will be happy to go when your mother is well and able to take care of the critters while you are away. He wants a babysitter and should have been clear. If you do go in the future as a babysitter, make sure you get ALL expenses paid. Also, I would try to get my own room if possible, or at least he should get three rooms. one adult per room. why should you be shoved in with all the kids?(unless he wants to payu you too.) also, you get to go out without the kids. That might mean one of them stays back with the kids, and the other goes out to a club or something with you.

Have all this agreed upon before you say yes.
post #15 of 16
Haven't you asked us about your problems with your brother before and the babysitting thing? Just say no, and if he comes to get you, say NO. Why don't they want to spend time with their own kids? Tell him you have appointments that week...which is the truth.
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudKittieMom View Post
Well I told my mom today and she asked me if I was sure, I was weighing the pros and cons, and let me say there is a lot more cons ! But my mom keeps saying she will be fine, but here she is not able to bend over or anything, I just rrelized whos going to feed the kits or my gunieas, or my bunni So we are going to see what happens

Lets keep our fingers crossed that this works and there is no family fued

Lets face it, I Ocean City, and havent been there for a few years, but I didnt plan on going with 3 kids, 2 being so small and at that age were they dont listen
You stick to your guns and don't let him bully you into going. Heck - give me his e-mail address and I'll st him straight!
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