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Adult, Baby??? Male? Female? Which??

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
OK...so..with my ongoing saga of dealing with Ashie dying and finding another cat (when Ashie finds "the one" for me!! )......I've come to another confusing issue that I need some opinions on!!

I had always ALWAYS believed I would adopt an adult cat over a kitten since they are not as easily adopted out (kittens can go like crazy). But now that I've looked at many cats/kittens, I'm starting to wondering about some things.

I knew Ashie really well....and I knew she wouldn't bother any child...she was just sooo laid back. Granted, it took her some time to 'get used' to our daughter when she was born, she never once coward, hissed, etc. My mother's cat, on the other hand, is from hell when it comes to my kids. She stays away and generally hides upon kid-entry into the house, but there are times when my daughter finds her and the cat has hissed and batted at her.

I don't want that. It isn't fair to my kids and it certainly isn't fair to the cat.

I know that a kitten would probably be much much better for this situation, but I am terrified of that, too. It has been soooo long since I've had a kitten I've forgotten so many things. And not just that, but there are so many small areas I would be afraid a kitten could get into and I wouldn't be able to find it. Our upstairs attic closets...the basement (icky basement, at that...)...things like that. And yes, an adult could do the same, but I don't think they are AS apt to try and do things . But...again...kittens DO go fast and I KNOW they will get homes.....and part of me really thinks I should go the adult route for many reasons.

Then the adult thing. Spending time with them at the shelter really gives me time to see how they are and all that great stuff....ESPECIALLY how they have the cats set up now (most can run free in their cat room area). Some are clearly marked whether or not they are good with kids or not...others have a question mark. I thought about just taking my daughter back to the shelter with me so she could interact with them and they could with her and we could see, but then that is only for a limited time and then I could get home and have a cat from HELL.

Then...male or female??? I've never had a male cat....ever. And I've heard that even if they are "fixed", they can still spray. I can't have that, either....that would be badddddddddddddddddd. And would an adult be ok with the scents that Ashie may left around the house??? Just normal scents from rubbing up against something?? And of course, we have to think about age. I only had 8 years with Ashie because she was older when I got her....and while that wouldn't have mattered in the past (and shouldn't now, I guess), I am terrified of losing another so soon. And yes, I know it could happen with a kitten, too...but maybe less chances?

UGH. So many things to think about.

Any insight? Any thoughts?
post #2 of 9
If you want a lap cat i find the gender thing about boys being more affectionate to on the whole be true. The girls compensate by being smarter.
If s/n early enough then boys are almost 100% not going to spray- eg before they sexually mature and learn how to.
If the surfaces Ashie slept on most are throughly cleaned then there shouldn't be a problem.
I read that a good combination of cats is a laid back older male, and a young/kitten female I'd get 2 though as they can be good company for each other. My first cat was an only cat, and now we have our 2 young cats we wonder how bored she must have been, and we never realised.
post #3 of 9
I really think its the same thing...that one cat thats right for you will just be right..

You know that I wanted a male cat..and stumbled upon Trout..and I knew she was the one for me

The only thing that I would maybe change is my next cat I am going to be adopting an adult because they are less likely to find homes than a kitten is...But that is just my reasoning.
post #4 of 9
When my cat Flip passed away in March I also had to make a decision on a new pet. I choose Linus a male about 2 years old. The reason I choose Linus were because, all my cats have always been males because they seem to have a harder time finding a home. Linus had been at the Humane Society for almost a year and that was another factor, he really needed a good home. An lastly I fell in love with him because he was so quiet and shy when I was looking at cats to adopt.
Is he still quiet and shy, now. no way, he has moved in taken over and is the most happy kitty in the world. He makes me happy everytime I see him. He and my other cat Sassy get along great and He was a super additon to my household.
My advice to you is look around and choose a cat or kitten that catches your attention and makes you smile just to see them..
post #5 of 9
When my first cat Mitten died, I too waited for Mit to tell me which one to adopt. I had been to cat shows showing purebreds and always looked at the availabe SPCA cats. They were all pretty but none "hit me". Then at one show they had a 4 month old big red tabby/white boy for adoption. The cat just had the attitude of Mitten, acted like him - not playing like a normal kitten would. More "grow up". But something (Mit ?) told me to take this boy home.

I did and he was a wonderful cat. Was a little scared of things, but in general adapted well. And he loved getting his picture taken, just like Mitten did. In fact, I had taken a few shots of him with Mitten's Morris Trophy and after being developed found out there was 2 pictures that were almost identical to the ones of Mitten with his Morris Trophy - same stance, etc.!

So I believe that Mitten picked out Reds for me.

Anyway, I would choose a male over a female any day. I love their personalities, they are more outgoing, friendly and more accepting of almost everything. I've NEVER had any of them spray. (BTW both males and females will spray if they are marking territory - even spayed and neuter ones).

I'd look for something inbetwen in age - not a young kitten, not a cat that is several years old. But maybe something in the 6 - 12 months range. Over the wild kitten stage, but still a young cat to adapt to things well.
post #6 of 9
Charlie and Jazzy were 16 weeks and 9 weeks when we got them. jazzy was always wild in her 2 years and Charlie has always been a timid kitty due to previous owners at such a young age. Applying age and sex does not always tell you what they are going to be like. I do know if we ever get another kitty i would like one that is older and like Charlie so the two get along. Also kittens get bought in a snap and the older one don't because little kids AND adults want something cute and fluffy! Get an older cat, whichever you feel is drawn to you, and you are drawn to and you will not regret it.
post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 
But I am just concerned about my kids.....I have a 3 year old (will be 3 in Sept) and a 5mo old. If I take Courtney (daughter) to the shelter and let her interact, will that be enough time to determine how a cat will do??
post #8 of 9
Originally Posted by carrie640 View Post
But I am just concerned about my kids.....I have a 3 year old (will be 3 in Sept) and a 5mo old. If I take Courtney (daughter) to the shelter and let her interact, will that be enough time to determine how a cat will do??

What you can do is find a few different cats you think look nice, ask the people there what their personality is like, if they have scratched or if they are timid etcetc. What you can do is hold the kitty and let your daughter have a little play, if the kitty is responding well let your daughter hold her (on the floor not up in the air, from experience little kids and cats dont always meld well lol and the kitty tries to escape from little arms). I dont know what your local shelter/s do, but at animal aid the family could take the kitties home and see how it went. I dont know if you pay the full fee or not, but i know you will not get 100% of it back as the shelter needs to make a profit.
post #9 of 9
I will tell you what I tell everyone who comes to the HS where I volunteer to adopt.

Sex does not matter. Look at their purr-sonalities. I can in no way guarantee the purr-sonality of any kitten here, not even at 6-10 months. If you want a cat that you know the purr-sonality of, look at the many adults here. Some are already declawed, some aren't. Many are surrenders, & I can tell you how they did when living with kids, cats, or dogs if they did.

I've had many families come in with young children who are first time cat owners. We often have cats who have lived with kids in the past & know how they will be with kids.

I guess, if I were you, I would look into an adult or senior cat. Age doesn't matter much. Look for one who has lived with kids in the past. IMO, kittens are very exuberant & you have to teach the kitten how to behave around kids. A cat who has already lived with kids is a much easier transition.
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